Parties & Mistakes
by Ariette24
Summary: The trusty group of four goes to one of Kira's big bashes one night, not knowing how bad everything would turn out. Being drunk leads to mistakes, mistakes lead to rumours, and rumours lead to career enders. Follow Ally on a journey of guilt, anger, love, and obviously mistakes.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **So basically this is set during the first few months of their senior year, placing them at about 17 years old. Austin at this point has been dating Kira for 6 months(so ignore all that stuff that happened with Austin and Ally getting together for a brief period of time. For the sake of the story, none of it happened). Anyway I'm picturing Kira as more bitchy than she was portrayed in the show, and you'll understand why. Also for the sake of the story, I'm having Ally's parents living together. I think they may be divorced in the show but they aren't here, and Ally's mom is also not working in the wild at this time.

Other than that, all you need to know is this is in Ally's point of view unless otherwise noted.

Oh and please enjoy and review:)

**Disclaimer: **You would know if I owned Austin and Ally. I don't think it would be on Disney Channel then.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 1: Ally's POV

My mind was foggy. That's all I could think of as I opened my sleep encrusted eyes. Damn, you drank a lot last night Ally. My head pounded and the barely existent light in the room hurt.

I flipped to my side, splaying my arm out as I went. It connected. And not with the bed, with something warm. I ignored the pain in my head as I snapped open my eyes. Where the hell was I? This is not my room, and it's not the Sonic Boom either. I looked down to where my arm had just hit something. Shit.

It all came flooding back to me. Did I really drink that much? My missing clothes seem to think so. Oh shit, where are my clothes? I peaked under the sheets. Well I guess he's not wearing clothes either...

Did that mean... I couldn't even think it. I had never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be here. In this bed. With him. At his girlfriends house. God that sounds like a soap opera! Or some dramatic prime time teen show!

'Oh Em Gee Claire can you believe this?' That's what they'd say in the show. Come to think of it, that's what they'll say if they find out about this. This. What was this? My head hurt just thinking about it, or maybe that was my oncoming hangover. Or maybe it was all just a dream.

I glanced down again at the figure lying next to me. Everything pointed to the fact that him and I had just had sex. A prospect that I was not entirely comfortable with. My eyes closed tight, I needed to think. Did that happen? I remember coming into this room, laughing, hiccuping, closing the blinds because it was far too bright and we didn't like the light right then, and then the door closed, locked tight. That was where my memory went, but I knew what happened behind closed doors at these parties, anyone could guess. I just wished it wasn't me. Hell if I'm wishing, I wish it wasn't him either.

I drew my legs to my chest and closed my eyes. Had we seriously just done that? There was no way, right? I mean you can't just jump into bed with someone like that. Even with alcohol, I'm sure there'd have to be something there. But what if there was something there? What if that's why we did it? Okay, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Do I know that for sure we did it?

Do I know for sure that I had sex with Austin Moon?

Thinking logically does it make sense? Okay so we're locked in a room together at a drunkenly stupid party. That's probably clue one. We're on the bed together. Clue number two. Our clothes are missing, clue number three. It sounded pretty logical to me.

"Yo, dude. There's someone in here!"

I gasped and clutched the blankets around me. Another voice was heard asking how he knew as the lock was jimmied back and forth. Eventually the two of them got bored of this attempt and walked away, ceasing the incessant worry forming in my chest. I had to leave. If I didn't want this blown out of proportion and if I didn't want everyone finding out, I had to leave.

I shot up from the bed and my eyes landed on something. Shit. Slightly off the centre of the bed was a medium sized red stain. Another few drops remained in the spot where I had been lying. Well, I guess that's proof positive. The two of us had had sex. Me and Austin. Austin and I. Austin had taken my virginity. I could only assume I'd taken his. We'd had sex. We had sex. Oh my God we had sex. I Ally Dawson, doer of good deeds, innocent quiet song writer had had sex. And with her partner. With her song writing taken partner.

Oh my God I just helped him cheat on his girlfriend. I stood there completely frozen, butt naked in that room. In that moment I came to the realization that I was the other woman. How could we have let this happen?

I bent down snatching up the costume pieces that were strewn across the floor. Throwing on the rumpled clothes that Trish had picked out of my closet to turn me into a cat. Oh God Trish, why did you make me come here? Why couldn't we have just stayed home and handed out candy? I wanted to cry right now. I wanted to just lay down and cry. But I knew I couldn't, I knew that if I did Austin would ask what was wrong and figure it all out. I knew that if I left right now there'd be a chance of him never knowing. God I'm a horrible person, that makes me such a horrible person.

I watched him sleeping. He was so peaceful, I almost felt bad for leaving. I almost had the idea of waking him up and letting him know that this did happen. Almost had the idea of getting back into the bed and letting him figure out what to do.

"Ally," he mumbled. It took me a second to realize he was still sleeping. An inadvertent smirk appearing on my face as relief flushed through me.

"I'll see you later today, Austin," I whispered as I opened the door. My brain was telling me to just get the hell out of there, just bolt, just flee. I ran down the stairs of the house, people still mulling about in a drunken stupor.

I glanced at my phone. 3:43am flashed on the screen. Good it would still be dark. But how was I getting home? From all the texts I'd gotten, Trish had already left me to fend for myself.

_Where are you?_ 12:41am

_Ally I swear if you're off dead somewhere I'll kill you._ 12:56am

_I want to go home! I need sleep! _1:03am

_Ok I'm leaving find your own way. 1_:07am

_Sorry I went home and I'm going to sleep. Text me if you're alive! _1:23am

Thank you Trish, seems like you looked hard. Then again at least she texted. And maybe I didn't want her to look so hard. She would've seen what we'd done. Would've known, would've freaked.

"Ally!" I heard a voice call. I turned around a smile automatically appearing on my face. "What are you still doing here?"

"I passed out a while ago and figured I should probably get a move on. But, I don't exactly have any way of getting home," I told her.

"Oh did you need a lift?" Kira asked me gesturing to her garage that housed many cars.

"Oh no, I'm sure I can find a way-"

"No, no, I insist. After all any friend of Austin's is a friend of mine," she winked and led me to the garage where a driver was waiting. "Speaking of which, do you know if Austin left?"

I froze for a moment before coming to my senses. I shook my head and replied, "I haven't a clue."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

I'm completely a goody two shoes, I'll admit that. I've never gone against what my parents have said. Never gone out when they said not to, never been out later than curfew, never been that stupid typical teenage girl. I'd broken all of that tonight. And more. I'm not the person I thought I was.

Which was why it was so hard coming back in to my house that night. It was 4:00am by the time I reached my house, that's crazy past my curfew. I fumbled in my pocket, desperately searching for the keys, praying that I hadn't dropped them on the floor of Kira's guest room. Luckily they were there. Oh thank God they were there. But it was still the most awkward thing walking into my house.

It was deathly quiet. I'd never heard it this quiet, it was usually so full of life and music. Granted I'd never been up at 4 in the morning before. It was unsettling. As I closed the front door as silently as possible, I noticed a slip of white paper on the front desk. My name was on the front in my mothers handwriting. Oh shit. So they knew, and why wouldn't they? I wasn't there when they went to sleep, I clearly broke curfew, broke their trust. I deserved whatever punishment they gave me.

I headed up the stairs and laid down on my bed, unfolding the paper. With a yawn, I began to read;

Ally,

It's 1:15am currently. You know that it's well past your curfew right now and you also know that your father and I have work tomorrow morning. I have to go to sleep right now, but you are not off the hook. I waited as long as I could for you, but I'm doubtful you'll be home anytime soon. I'll see you in the morning, if you're even home by then.

I hope you enjoyed whatever freedom you thought you had tonight. I assure you it'll be gone soon.

Love,

Your Mother who said be home by 11, especially on a school night.

It almost seemed like she got progressively angry, or maybe that's just how she lectures. I've never had much of one of those. I wish I knew if this was normal for her. My eyes scanned over the words once more, trying to focus on where the paper had been pressed harder or where more anger had been inflected on the wording. But my brain was still foggy and my eyes felt like they could barely see. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Ally!" I heard a loud voice call. "Ally wake up or you'll be late for school!" It was my mothers voice travelling up the stairs. I guess she'd seen I had gotten home.

A yawn overcame me as I glanced toward the bedside clock. She was right, if I didn't get a move on I'd be late. And I'd have to skip breakfast. But from the way my stomach was churning, I didn't really mind.

My feet propelled me to my dresser as my head was spinning. I arbitrarily grabbed some clothes out of the drawers, hoping they matched up. My mind strayed to Austin, lying in that bed smiling. I never knew someone could look that peaceful after something so life shattering had happened. I knew that our friendship would never be the same again. And how could we go back? Hey, we just had sex and I helped you cheat on your girlfriend! But let's go write a song! Yeah!

I have no idea what's going to happen.

That thought weighed heavily in my mind and I dragged my feet until I reached the washroom. God I looked ghastly. My hair was dishevelled and my makeup smudged. I even looked a shade or two paler than normal, which is hard for me to do. Sighing I closed the door and let the first few tears fall down my cheeks.

"Ally!" my mom called again "Trish is here, now hurry up!"

I hastily wiped away the tears, taking the smudged and ugly cat eye makeup off along with it. I then quickly changed into what I'd picked out and brushed my hair gently. I looked decently acceptable. But of course, once you come across something good, theres a high chance you'll come across something bad. And that's precisely when I realized it. In the pile of clothes that I'd just discarded, one key garment was missing.

I'd left my bra in Kira's guest bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **Thank you so much for all the favourites, follows, reviews, and even views. I'm feeling a lot more confident than I have been for a while, so thanks for that:) Just a tiny warning, there is some swearing in this chapter and will be for the remainder of the story. I'm sorry if that's offensive, but I'm going for realism and not Disney channel. Now without further ado, Chapter 2!

...And I'm entertained that rhymed. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the show, I only own my ideas.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 2: Ally's POV

"Ally," Trish said wildly as I made my way down the stairs. "I'm so sorry that I left you there last night! I was tired and I had to sleep and I thought you were with Austin and that he could take you home, but I guess not. And then I texted Austin and he replied this morning that he hadn't seen you. Which is worrisome and just makes me feel even worse for abandoning you there!" she rambled on.

"Did you explain this whole abandoning thing to my mom?" my voice came out slightly odd, and whimpering at first. Was Austin covering for me? Or did he truly not remember me being there?

She raised her eyebrows but nodded. She'd probably told my mom that story in about the same words, which would lessen my punishment but still make her wonder. No one knew why I had disappeared, and if I could help it, no one would ever find out the truth. If anyone found out... Well there'd be hell to pay.

But then there was my bra. The one fact that terrified me, the fact that someone might be able to figure out it was mine. Thank God my mom stopped putting my name in my underwear years ago. That could've ended so much worse than it is now. But it's still a bra, at her house, in the room with her boyfriend. Where we'd basically done the nasty. No, not basically, certainly.

Because him and I, we're idiots. Nothing but idiots. I cannot believe I did that. I cannot believe that we did that. I'm the mistress, I'm the other woman, and I did not want to own up to that. I wanted to stay home and just lay on my bed and cry. But, in order to do that I would need to confess to what I had done, what we had done, and there was no way in hell I was doing that.

"Ally?" It was Trish again, staring at me with confusion bright in mind. I couldn't tell if she had been talking and I, not listening, or if I had just zoned out. Either way I looked weird as hell.

I flashed a smile her way and gestured toward the door. "Shall we?" I asked.

She exited the open door and yelled a quick goodbye to my parents. I stepped out into the blazing sunlight and felt like hissing. It hurt to look at. Well I guess I still had a hangover. Still had? Please, why would it be gone now. I moved down the front walkway, even steps, trying not to aggravate the building headache.

"Okay," Trish started "What the hell happened with you last night? Screw being apologetic and abandoning and shit, this is your fault. You got piss drunk, and I mean like plastered! That's why I told Austin to look after you. But, Austin was super drunk too so that probably wasn't a good plan. Like honestly? Did you guys forget it was Thursday?"

"Can we please take this down a level, your voice hurts," I closed my eyes for a split second before she began shrieking again.

"See! You shouldn't have drunk that much! Did you not realize there was shit in the punch? And like every drink that you would've thought was non-alcoholic? That's what screwed you over! That's what screwed you both over!"

I looked at her then, her arms flailing wildly, eyes a shade darker than normal. She was mad at me? She had no right to be mad at me! She was the one who dragged me there after all!

"Okay," I laughed the tiniest bit. "First of all when you're angry your grammar becomes horrible. Whatever I'll let it slide. But come on Trish, you're blaming me for this? You're the one who dragged me there!"

"Well it's good to know you will totally be responsible in the future."

"Hey! I made it home!"

"Whatever," she snorted and waved a hand at me dismissively. "How much you drank doesn't matter. It's what happened to you that I care about."

She looked at me inquisitively and for a second, I thought about telling her. It would certainly be a gigantic weight off my chest if she knew. Or maybe it would add another weight? She'd probably be both scolding and excited at the same time. I knew she had her ships, her secret ones that she'd never tell anyone, the ones she did for 'real people'. Austin and I were a ship of hers. Which was a main factor in why I decided not to tell her.

"I don't know. I was with Austin," I swallowed hoping that this lie wasn't obvious. "Then I wasn't. I woke up in one of the guest rooms all alone. I have no idea how I got there, all I know is that Kira was nice enough to lend me a free ride home."

It was a half truth. At least it was that, I've never been a good liar but apparently this time it was convincing enough.

I looked ahead again and listened to Trish ramble on about her night. Apparently she had been trying to pick up some guy last night, not that I took the time to notice. But nothing wound up working and he left with another girl. For a second I felt bad for her. I'd be a bad friend if I didn't feel bad, but I had other things to worry about. The school had come into view and it looked busier than usual.

"God, she must've been pissed!" I heard one girl say.

"Talk about a horrible five am wake up call," another passerby said.

"Dude, she didn't deserve that. He's such an asshole, you don't do that to a girl!" one of the popular guys spoke.

"Okay," Trish stalled. "What's going on? Everyone is buzzing about something, my gossip senses are tingling."

She smirked as we walked in the front door but my face dropped. My eyes zeroed in on the bulletin board and my head started pounding. Oh. My. God. Trish continued to walk towards it, pushing through a huge crowd of people. I heard moans of displeasure, saw shakes of heads, and a few people arguing. How could one person cause all of this? Maybe it was three people, I don't know. But this was crazy. The whole school was up in arms. And here I was standing next to Trish trying to make it look like I wasn't guilty.

Trying to make it look like my bra wasn't up for display.

Trish gasped and plucked the piece of paper off the wall. I figured something horrible was on the paper, but was it about me? Had I been outed? Austin certainly had been, and I had no doubt that it was Kira who did this.

But when Trish handed me the note, I knew it wasn't about me just yet. This was all about Kira. All she wanted to do was shame Austin, shame the 'mystery whore'. What have I done?

"Ally, read it!" Trish called to me. And when I only glanced down she snatched it away, deciding to read it aloud.

"To the slut which this bra belongs to,

As cute as your whoreish little bra style is, it doesn't belong. You fucked my boyfriend last night and you fucked with the wrong person. But I don't think you care. I just want you to know that your precious little article that was on your tiny chest last night, is safe. So take it and claim your man whore, he's of no worth to me now. I hope this was worth it.

Love Kira."

God that was poignant. Love? Seriously? That's probably the bitchiest way you can sign a hate letter. But this was bad, all anger aside from her pasting my bra on the board and repeatedly calling me a slut/whore/bitch, this was bad. I'd totally just jeopardized Austin's whole record deal future. What if Kira made her dad take back the deal?

Trish was staring at my face, shaking her head. "Yeah, that's how I feel," she spoke slowly and scoldingly. She was pissed at him, or maybe pissed at Kira. But there was fire in her eyes.

"Do you know what this means for Austin?" I whispered, finally finding my voice. Her eyes widened when she figured it out and her head turned down. I heard a few curse words before the foyer went quiet. This could only mean one thing.

Austin had arrived.

The crowd parted and a blonde head came into view. Dez was following behind, laughing and joking with Austin, completely oblivious to all the angry people staring at them. When they got to the front of the room they both stopped, Dez staring at the bra as if it was the first he had ever seen. Austin looking guilty.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Trish was the first to speak.

Austin's eyes went from the bra, to the note in Trish's hand, to the angry students, to my eyes. In that one flickering glance I saw the look. Not only was there guilt, which would be expected, there was also recognition and sorrow. He knew. He remembered and he knew. And I hated it. If I started crying right here and now they'd all know, but there was only so much left that I could stand.

"I- I" Austin stuttered. All these people were waiting on what he was about to say next, waiting for some heartfelt apology, or explanation. He looked up at Trish and I. He was blank. There was no explanation for this. No explanation, except for the fact that we were both horrible people.

Trish shook her head and shoved the note into his limp hands. The colour drained from his face as he realized that Trish had lost all faith in him too. I almost felt as isolated as he did, felt as if I could be in my own world. I felt trapped in my thoughts, trapped in something that seemed like a nightmare. The feeling still didn't dissipate when the bell shocked me out of my reverie. All the bell did was make me finally look at him completely for the first time that morning. He looked about as good as I did. Hair disheveled, no colour on his face, posture was slouching, there was no chipper Austin in sight. The Austin that had been there the night before was gone. I was a horrible person.

"Austin," I whispered, unsure if he even heard.

"Ally!" Trish called, grabbing onto my wrist. "It's time for class, lets go."

She started to pull me away as the crowd dispersed. One last glance at Austin told me he had heard my whisper. One last glance at Austin told me he was sorry.

* * *

**AN: **I would love to hear what you thought about this. Also just a warning/statement I'm most likely only going to post once a week. I think every Sunday, so far is a good idea. I have 8 of my chapters completed so far, but there's a fair amount to go. So once a week seems fair, but it might get more spread out depending on how quickly I work. Thanks for reading:)


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Ugh I had some problems uploading this one... Oh well! Thank you all for the support, keep the love coming I'm loving it;). As a reward for your love, here is chapter 3! Read, enjoy, and review!

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I don't own Austin &amp; Ally, but I do own this idea!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 3: Ally's POV

I knew that Trish was talking to me, I could see the worry and anger lines on her face. I could see her hands flailing wildly as if that made the message more important. I knew she was talking about Austin and how furious she was with him, but most of myself didn't even care. I was more preoccupied with the fact that I was completely involved with this situation. I mean sure, this is pretty worrisome, and from the outside I can see the anger, but it didn't matter to me right now. Everything had changed in an instant, I was no longer the girl that everyone thought I was. To use Kira's words, I was a slut.

I gasped, and not because I had mentally called myself a slut, but because I had the worst cramp of my life just happen to me. I grasped at my stomach for a second, barely having time to think about how weird it was before I had another shooting pain. And then a settling pain in my back. Really? So this is what I get for having sex. Awesome. I get to feel like one of those horrible crampy, nausea filled period days. Well, sex is just awesome.

"Ally are you okay? You seem like you're in pain?" Trish looked at me, her anger towards Austin seeping into worry for me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I nodded, holding my left side where a cramp was persisting.

"Is it that time of the month? I thought we synced up years ago. Didn't that happen? And I mean it's not that time for me so why should it be for you?"

I looked at her and smiled, a smile which shortly turned into a laugh. She stated at me, cocking her head to the side like a confused little puppy, which only made me laugh harder.

"You're crazy aren't you?" she laughed at me, sinking down into her seat.

"You know those days before you start where your body is just like, preparing or something? I assume it's one of those days," one of those really uncomfortable days. She nodded, I must be getting better at lying. A part of me wished I wasn't getting better at lying, because if I wasn't getting better, then I wouldn't be in this situation.

I plopped my bag onto the desk, finding basically nothing. Well shit. I realized two things, in all the haste of this morning I had forgotten to pick up my stuff in my room. And with all the haste of this morning I had forgotten to go to my locker. Pushing my bag to the floor I made the decision to go and actually retrieve my books.

I mumbled an apology and explanation to Trish before leaving the classroom. The halls seemed more crowded than it usually would have been two minutes before class. Everyone was still buzzing. God Austin, why do you have to be so popular? I hated this situation. I wasn't sure if I hated it because he was popular or if I would have hated it if he wasn't. That would make me a horrible person if I only hated it because of the attention. But, then again, if he was dating a less popular, less outgoing girl, she wouldn't have done this. Which would have been worse. She would have been heartbroken. Not that Kira wasn't, she was just taking it a different way...

Before I knew it I was in front of my locker. I had to wrack my aching brain for the combination, numbers that usually came to me easily. 25-55-25. Or numbers around that. Either way, the damn thing wasn't opening. I was clearly incompetent. I rested my head against the cool metal for a second, a calm falling over me. Closing my eyes I realized how tired I was, I also realized that with my eyes closed the headache was significantly less. Backache though, that was still there.

With a sigh I popped my eyes open, ready to try at the lock again. However, I was not expecting the feet I saw next to me. I blinked a few times, shit, I knew those shoes. I followed the shoes up to the face and slightly smiled at him.

"Hey Austin," I spoke softly.

"Do you need some help?" it was the first thing he had said to me all day and he wasn't even looking at me. There was also something about his voice, something that made the next few words come out of my mouth.

"No Austin, I don't need help," I said the words in an even voice, but I could still see the hurt cross his features. Something had changed between us. In a matter of one night we had changed our friendship forever. Looking at him I wanted to cry. I let out a shaky breath as he stared at me, his dark brown eyes piercing me to the core. My locker was a much more interesting subject than the conversation we were going to have. But eventually I looked up, earnestly peering upon his face.

"Sorry," his lips moved, and he turned away. I watched him as he left down the hall. Even his walk had changed. I'd broken him. I'd broken us. I'd broken them. Dammit, I'd broken everything.

The second bell rang and I swallowed my fears and everything that was threatening to bubble over and drown me. I turned back to the locker and quickly managed to open it. Thank God I thought, pulling out what I needed and hastily locking it again. But when I turned around to face the now empty hallway, all I could think of was Austin walking dejectedly along it. I had made that.

When I finally fell into my seat I still felt horrible. I probably looked it too. It was one if those moments where you just decide that life sucks. And that you suck. And that everything just sucks.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Trish asked me.

"Peachy," I replied tersely.

Kira had just sauntered in, cronies in tow. She went up to the teacher and said a few words waving the papers in her hands, and wildly gesturing. Eventually Miss. Daily nodded, a sympathetic look crossing her face.

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Miss. Daily spoke. "Kira would like your attention for the first few minutes of class today."

I moved in my seat, I could already tell whatever she had to say was going to be uncomfortable. I was also just trying to find a spot where my back wouldn't be yelling at me. Or so to speak. Damn those weird cramps and stupidly hung over headache. Oh life was great.

"Hello everyone," Kira grinned a 10 watt smile at the front of the classroom. The only way I could think of describing her look was evil. "I'm sure you all know what happened yesterday evening at my party."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

Well if we're being accurate it was probably this morning around 12am. Or the whole ordeal started around that time. Austin had pulled me into the room after I had been complaining about it being too loud.

"There is that better?" he asked stumbling onto the bed.

"Wow!" I stated dumbly. "It's huge in here! It's like the size of a house!" a laugh escaped me as I walked over to where he was and tripped over my own feet. "Ouch," I mumbled.

"That didn't hurt!" he said, jokingly slapping me. "It's a bed silly!"

I stretched out over the plush yellow comforter. It was probably the comfiest thing I had ever laid my ass on. And I was tired and I felt like sleeping.

"Don't be going to sleep, Trish will be mad or whatever if you do," Austin spoke, poking my side.

I swatted at his hand telling him to stop. Trying to make myself open my tired eyes. "Is it bright in here or is it just me?"

"Her whole house is bright," Austin mumbled, lying down on the bed next to me.

"She isn't!" I laughed to myself and heard laughter come from beside me as well. "Would you close the blinds? It's too light."

Somehow that sentence made sense to us. Even though it was night and there wasn't any light coming through. Even though the bright hanging chandelier like lights were on above us. But, he got up and shut the blinds and when he laid back down beside me, I sighed in content. Apparently it made a difference. I was nearly asleep when he spoke again.

"You know, she really is stupid."

"Who is?" I asked dimly and turned to face him.

"Kira," he stated as if it were obvious. "She's pretty but dumb."

"Pretty dumb," I laughed at my own joke.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed, taking it way too seriously and bolting up straight on the bed. "She's failing 2 courses at school"

"Damn," I muttered. "And I thought she just dressed like a slut!" he laughed from beside me, lazing back on the bed and I continued. "But then you must like that."

"I thought she was a lot smarterer when we first started whatever."

"Her breath stunk, she's stupid, she probably doesn't brush her teeth."

"That's nasty!" he looked genuinely disgusted. "And I kiss that!"

"Ew!" I exclaimed as if I was four years old and afraid of cooties again.

We both laughed, falling over each other. Our legs were entangled, my head moving onto his chest. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, as if he had suddenly become serious again.

"I mean who is so stupid that they have a party on a Thursday? I get that it's Halloween but she could've done Friday!"

And the laughter continued. It was pointless. I have no idea what we were even talking about, it's all a blur in my mind. I remember insulting her hair, and her slutty clothes, and how people only liked her for her father. I remember constantly laughing, constantly in contact with him, touching him. Until the clock struck 1 in the morning.

And then we kissed.

I don't know how it happened. I don't know if we had kept laughing or if we were serious. All I know is that after that kiss we went way too far. After that we changed everything.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

I felt a rush of air fly past my face and suddenly there was a sheet of paper on my desk. I looked at the foreign paper and saw numbers all the way down the page. Clearly I'd blanked out. But, I quickly came to the realization that this was a quiz handed out by Kira. She was stampeding around the room handing out the papers, a triumphant smile on her face. I wanted to slap that smile right off it, but that would give me away wouldn't it?

"Now," Kira said, coming back to the front of the room. "Please answer all the questions truthfully, I want my answer."

I caught a roll of an eye from Trish then glanced down at the sheet. No scratch that it was two sheets. 30 questions. Damn this was thorough.

1\. What is your name?

2\. Were you at the party last night?

3\. Do you associate with my now ex Austin?

4\. Are you attracted to my now ex Austin?

5\. Were you alone with my now ex Austin last night?

6\. What is the size of your bra?

7\. Are you a virgin?

8\. Were you a virgin before last night?

9\. Did you lose your virginity at the party last night?

10\. What time did you leave the party last night?

11\. How did you leave the party last night?

12\. Are you currently on your period?

13\. Should I be having my sheets washed of your grimy vagina?(optional if you want to come right out and say who you are).

14\. If I so believe that you are the culprit, and you deny it, are you willing to be medically tested?

15\. Do you have any STD's that you are aware of?

16\. Do you have any medical issues down below?

17\. Did you consume any alcohol last night?

18\. How much alcohol did you consume last night?

19\. Do you even remember what happened last night?

20\. Did you wake up with my now ex Austin next to you?

21\. Did you and him conspire to hurt me?

...

The questions went on like that.

She wanted her answer no matter the cost. I realized in that moment, that if I wanted to come off clean in this situation, I needed to lie. Lie on a good handful of these questions. These were such stupid questions. Questions based on anger and not true thought, the English nerd in me wanted to just make corrections on the spelling mistakes and grammar problems, but that could dig me in to a deeper hole. More than likely, it would.

"Kira," one of the girls scoffed after having read the list. "Some of these questions are a bit personal."

The boy sitting next to her looked curious and tried to sneak a peak at the list. An attempt that was in vein when Kira suddenly slammed her hand on to the desk.

"It's not personal if you have nothing to hide," she spoke. That is so not the definition of personal. Eyebrows went up at this statement, even more went up when she made her next move. "Suspect number one!" she said snidely, snatching the paper away from my fellow classmate.

Everyone quietly finished their quizzes after that, no one wanting to be, number two.

* * *

**AN:** Just a little update! I've finished up to chapter 10, so we should be right on schedule. See you all next Sunday! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** I do accept anon reviews, I love to hear what you guys have to say. Whether it's praise or constructive criticism. However I don't tolerate being told my story is 'the worst eva' because there is no 'Aussly'. I would accept someone not liking my story, because that happens, but that review was a misunderstanding on their part. If you don't get that there will be Auslly in my story from the first chapter, then I don't know what to tell you. So I'll state it, my story is an Auslly one.

Anyway, thank you to everyone else who has read, reviewed, followed, and favourited my work. Again sorry, and thank you all. Long authors note is over now. Here is Chapter 4. Read, review, and enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **You guys know I don't own Austin &amp; Ally. However this idea is all mine:)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 4: Ally's POV

"Allison!" I heard called down the hall when lunchtime rolled around.

I looked around my locker to see Trish, almost running down the hallway. Seriously? God, she probably had some sparkling news about Kira. I was still in no mood for that.

"Patricia," I said, using her full name when she came to a stop in front of me.

She grimaced for a moment before continuing, "Come on, hurry up! I have so much to tell you!"

The look on her face worried me. It was one of both fury and excitement. I honestly didn't know that a person could have both of those emotions at once. But hey, there's a lot of things that I never thought would happen until today.

I moved things around in my locker, not entirely wanting to follow Trish and hear the latest gossip. I could tell it was getting on her nerves. I was moving far to slow for her excitable mind, searching for something that didn't exist. But, at least searching for whatever held off the rumours, if only for a little while. I knew when she began tapping her foot, that I'd probably passed the acceptable amount of looking time. Meaning, I'd now have to close my locker and venture out. Something I wasn't too sure of, but knew I had to do.

"Alright, what's up?" I asked Trish, slamming the locker door shut.

"What the hell were you searching for?" she returned.

"Something I left at home, don't worry about it."

She shrugged and turned to walk down the hallway. As I followed, I could still hear almost everyone gossiping. From what they were saying and what I had heard in the rest of my classes, people were appalled at Kira's quiz. However, there was a good handful of people who completely understood what she was doing because she must be heartbroken. The majority though, were generally just hating on Austin. And part of me couldn't blame them, part of me could only blame myself.

If I really thought about it, I was truly the only one that could be blamed. You don't go into a room alone with someone who's taken, who you clearly have feelings for, while you're incapacitated. Shit. Clearly have feelings for? What am I thinking? These cramps must be affecting my brain too.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as Trish walked past our usual lunch table.

"It's a nice day, we're eating outside," she replied.

"But what if I don't like the outside world?"

She shrugged and continued walking. Trish was not one for nature. She was so out of tune with nature that when she got a job at the local outdoor sports shop, she managed to get fired within the hour. Then there was the time we went up to my cottage and she basically spent the whole time inside. And then there was the fact that she's said multiple times, she's hates grass, and forests, and rocks, and trees, and generally anything outside that remotely has to do with nature. Needless to say, this suggestion of eating outside was quite the shock. Or maybe this was some desperate attempt to get away from Austin, who she was still clearly pissed with.

"This looks like a nice spot!" she said, settling under a shaded maple tree. Oh this was so not Trish.

"Okay. Why the hell are we outside? Like, really? Even if it was a nice day, which it isn't- it's cloudy- you hate the outdoors!" I looked at her, an eyebrow cocked.

"Fine. You got me!" she stated, arbitrarily itching her leg. "I hate trees, but I do love cloudy days best." A smile appeared on her face and I shook my head as I slumped down. "I don't want to sit with Austin," she admitted finally.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "We can't," I paused, searching for the right word. "Judge him on something that he did while," another pause, "not fully himself."

"Some would argue that you're more yourself when you are drunk," she spilled out this wise nugget of wisdom.

I shook my head. If she thought this about Austin, I didn't want to know what she would think about me. If Austin was this horrible, asswipe of a person, I must be worse. So much worse.

I shifted around trying to get into that comfortable position where I wasn't yet again reminded of my deed. These damn cramps were just one pain after another, telling me how bad of a person I was. When I finally stopped moving Trish stared at me. She brought her water bottle to her lips before finally asking, "Are you okay with all of this? I mean everything with Austin. And also the fact that I think you're sick and crampy and stuff."

I waved her off, though I wasn't okay in really any sense. Except for the cramps, I'd taken the liberty of looking that up, and while annoying, it was natural. A handful of confused and worried girls online had wondered if cramps after first times were normal. Which, of course they can be. It doesn't happen to everyone, but hey, who says I'm lucky?

I felt like an emotional wreck. But, there was a part of me that just never wanted her to see that. So, I'd pretend I was fine. Pretend that I wasn't about to break, or that I was going to just break when I got home. I pretended that I was totally interested in her stories and gossip of the day. I was a damn good pretender until those red Converse shoes appeared at the tree.

Trish was the first to look up and when she did, a sour look crossed her features.

"Mind if we sit?" Dez asked cheerfully, obviously oblivious to the amount of tension that was building the longer they stood there. I could've sworn that Trish was going to say no, but she glanced at me, then back to them, and finally shook her head yes.

"Why are you guys outside?" Dez asked, staring at the leafy branches.

"I could take a guess," I heard Austin mumble.

Evidently, Trish heard him too as the next thing out of her mouth was, "Yeah, that guess is probably right."

Austin snapped his head up at her, the scowl on her face was almost menacing. But he just stared. It was like one of those contests you have when you're 12, staring until the other person blinks. This time though, Trish was clearly angry, while Austin almost looked apologetic.

"Guys," I spoke, surprising even myself. "You need to stop. Just let it go, whatever," my argument obviously was not that strong, but it did stop the little debacle. In my head though, it was still there. Austin sitting across from us made my skin rise, and not in that good cute way. To set it out plainly, I felt extremely awkward, and I'm already an awkward person. You could only imagine how awkward I was feeling.

I let out a puff of air, which no one seemed to question. Everyone sitting under this tree was feeling the tension. Except Dez, I wasn't really sure where his mind was. In any case no one was speaking, and that was almost worse than someone arguing.

"Is it just me," Dez asked looking at each of us, "or does it feel really awkward right now?"

In spite of myself I laughed. Oh God, he was right, you could feel it. The fact that he just put that out there so bluntly though, that was gold. That was why I couldn't stop laughing. It was one of those moments where you literally had to laugh or something would just kill you and you'd break. I guess this was a way of me not breaking down, or maybe it was part of it. But everyone joined in soon. Trish, Dez, and Austin all just shook their heads and laughed. Even the laughter was awkward at first, but it changed and in seconds it felt normal.

Which of course it wasn't, and Kira was our constant reminder of this. She always has that way of showing up at the best of times.

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry!" she stated loudly as she walked passed us. "I didn't know that sleeping around was funny."

Well that'll do it. It wasn't normal anymore, I felt the awkward, felt the pressure, felt the horrible shrinking sense of who I was. Damn. I looked around at the faces of those who were my friends or who were supposed to be, and felt even worse.

"I have to go" I mumbled to questioning faces and got up. Trish absently asked where I was going, to which I mumbled again, something about homework.

As I was walking away I heard it, "She's really pissed at you,." Trish spoke, "I don't have a clue why but, damn."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

School seemed to drag on that day. It felt a helluva lot longer than the usual 7 hours. But why should I expect anything less? It was the biggest relief of my life when the last bell finally rang. I just wanted out of there, and fast. I hadn't been paying attention in my classes today. Too busy thinking about everything with Austin, the cramps, Kira, how horrible I am, and the fact that I probably only got about 4 hours of sleep. A fitful sleep at that. So I didn't care if I had work to do this weekend, or that maybe I should go to my locker. I just wanted to go home.

I propelled myself through the busy hallways and down the stairs, away from my last class. I only wish I'd been driven to school instead of having walked. But I'm sure my parents wouldn't have appreciated that this morning. Either way, my path out was being blocked by yet another hoard of people in the main lobby. When I finally got to the last step I realized what they were staring at, or staring at the lack of.

My bra, which had been tacked to the board was now gone. I really hoped that Austin had taken it as opposed to some weird creep. According to everyone congregating, no one had seen who had taken it down. I guess that was better than some new rumour.

"So you saw," I heard Trish speak.

"Yeah," I said turning around. "It's kind of hard not to miss it with all these people."

We started walking and she laughed. "I kind of miss Mr. Cute Bra. He could've been the schools mascot."

"What a sad mascot," I snickered as we finally made it out the front doors. Ah, it's sunny again. Just in time to walk home, or not home. Well shit, I totally forgot I have to work. I think Trish registered my realization, as she didn't question when I began walking to the mall instead of the way to our houses.

"So I never told you at lunch what I've heard. It's so good. I've heard all the suspects, and all the horrible things, and all the funny things!" she was smirking, I wasn't sure if that meant she felt more lighthearted or she really did hate Austin that much.

"Alright, spill."

"Okay, so there was that girl in home room who we saw become number one." She made a an over the top number one gesture with her hands. "And everyone totally thought that one was unfair. But then in Kira's second period class there was another monstrosity!" her eyes went wide and I laughed in spite of it all. "Suzanne, who we all know has hated Austin since day one, decided to take extra bitchy pills today. She bitched Kira out and a Kira crony decided that that meant she had something to do with it."

"Oh God, seriously?"

"Yeah, so now she's suspect number 2! And then from what I've heard, there's also Kristina, Rachelle, Alene, Olivia, Mona, Sofia, and Frankie. Which is a lot of people from not even looking at the lists!" she shook her head, curls flying left and right. But I saw her face change, a slight grimace as though she didn't want to tell me something.

"What?" I asked her finally.

She stopped us before we came into full view of the mall. "When I tell you this you have to promise not to freak out."

I cocked my head to the side, but eventually nodded.

"It's not official or anything, like Kira hasn't said this outright like all the others but... Well, some people are kind of suspecting you."

"Me?" I asked, surprised that people would even think that. It didn't matter if it was true, it was just slightly appalling my reputation was already this low.

"Well yeah," she spoke truthfully. "They think that 'cause you and Austin are so close and you're like best friends - not including me - that something went on. Plus no one saw you guys together today except for that awkward affair at lunch. And awkward affair was awkward."

I blinked at her a few times before turning and continuing on our way. "That's bullshit."

* * *

**AN: **So as you may have noticed I'm changing my posting date to Saturday's. This is mostly because I'd rather look forward to Saturday than I would Sunday;). Anyway I have 10 Chapters completed as of now and more are on the way! See you next Saturday:)


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Alright thanks again for everything you guys do, I'm feeling the love! So it's Saturday finally, which means here is Chapter 5! Just a warning the chapter is a little sad but I promise it will get happier... then sad... Then happier... Ultimately it will end in a way I hope you all like:) Read, review, and enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I only wish I owned Disney, could you imagine how rich I'd be? But unfortunately I don't, so I don't own Austin &amp; Ally. This idea though, I own it:)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 5: Ally's POV

It was well past dinner hour when Trish finally left. While it was usually nice having her around, gossiping and telling me the latest everything, today I'd just had enough. A lot of what she told me was all about Austin, it just made me feel even worse than I already did. It actually made me wonder how she didn't figure out that me being the 'slut', was not bullshit after all. Some people had some pretty good theories about me.

Like how I'm his best friend.

And the fact that guys and girls totally can't be friends without wanting each other secretly.

And how I totally would've been his girlfriend if Kira hadn't come into the picture.

And how I must love drama.

And how I'm not as innocent as I seem by any means.

And that I probably love sex and we went wild and crazy in that bed.

And how it's always the quiet ones you have to watch.

And that I never liked Kira in the first place, probably even hated her.

I'll admit, I rolled my eyes at some of them, but a lot made me stop and think. A lot of them made me wonder why Kira hadn't outright confronted me earlier today. I could admit that even if I hadn't done anything wrong last night, I should've been the number one suspect anyway. It honestly just made sense. The only thing that didn't make sense was this situation in general.

I brushed my hand over the piano keys, the sound bringing peace to my ears. Music had always done this to me, brought peace and calm when nothing else could. I've been told that as a baby and a toddler, nothing would make me sleep faster than a simple song could. I've also been told that I started jamming out on the piano before my third birthday, and of course there was the infamous Butterfly Song. Music just spoke to me. That was precisely the reason I was now in the song room. My shift had been over for all of 10 minutes, and I needed to get away. I couldn't think of a better way than just relaxing in a room that exuded music.

I settled down at the piano bench, pulling out my song book. I flipped the millions of pages that had songs written with Austin sprawled across them. I guess even in here I can't get away from this.

"No matter what I do, everything reminds me of you," I wrote on the top of the new page. Nothing truer had ever been written by myself. I couldn't deny the fact that my thoughts were consumed by Austin, and it wasn't just today in the aftermath of this event. It's been a while.

My fingers brushed the keys again, absently doing a small scale. All I could do was stare at my hands in apparent realization. There's the answer. You evidently do need some sort of feeling to have drunken sex. I guess that might not hold true for some, but for me it made perfect sense.

I was in love with that boy. I was in love with Austin Moon.

And really? It wasn't that much of a surprise. I knew I'd liked him right when I'd met him, but it was just a second grade crush kind of thing. Nothing more. But I still remembered it vividly.

"Your face, your eyes, your smile. It always takes me back," I wrote the second line. I could tell that what I was writing wasn't in order, but it made sense.

"It was always there, all I can think of."

I flipped the pages of my song book, even at the times when I thought I wasn't in love with him, there were signs. Even when I had a crush on Dallas, there were still unnecessary mentions of Austin. God, how long had I been in love with him? Had it really been since the second grade?

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

I remember the moment like it had been yesterday. Which in itself should probably tell me something. It was the first day of second grade and everyone was gathered in the gym. I was holding my mothers hand so I wouldn't get lost. In the three years prior(JK, SK, and grade one) that I had been here, I had always thought that the gym was huge. Crammed with a bunch of people, it was down right scary for a short 7 year old child.

We eventually arrived at the second grade table where I would be told who my new teacher for the year was. My mother told them my name and was in turn handed a slip of paper with my name and teacher on it. And the winner was Mrs. Neilson, the nicer of the two second grade teachers. With even that simple revelation I was happy. But that didn't necessarily last very long.

"Alright Ally," my mom said crouching down to me, hair falling out of the pulled back style she used to sport. "It's time for me to go now, but I'll be back after school to pick you up," she smiled tucking the hair behind her ear, then touched my shoulder lightly. "Go and introduce yourself, Hun."

She pushed me towards the group of forming children and evidently my new teacher. Mrs. Neilson was a tall, pretty, and sprightly young woman. I was greeted with a warm smile from her and a shriek of excitement from my best friend Trish. It made me even happier that I wasn't a total loner in that class.

"Well hello there," Mrs. Neilson said warmly. "And who might you be?"

Ever the shy child, I stared down at the floor. I shuffled my feet a bit before finally looking up at her gaze. Just as I was about to open my mouth, Trish interrupted.

"That's Ally!" she told the teacher emphatically.

"Well Ally, or Allison," she winked "If you get in line we'll be able to leave very soon." Mrs. Neilson smiled and led me to a spot beside Trish, where of course, very Trishlike, she began talking my ear off.

But, Mrs. Neilson kept her promise. In no time we were walking off to our classroom. Apparently all the children had arrived, meaning I must've been one of the last. No matter though, I was still excited to take on the day. Our first task was to find our name tag on the groups of desks then take the second name tag and stick it to the locker of our choice. I found mine in a group of four, ironically the group was; Allison, Patricia, Desmond, and Austin. It made me even happier that I also got to sit with my best friend Trish!

I went outside where Trish had already picked the locker she wanted. No doubt I was going to pick the one next to her. There were two open spots next to the one she picked and I decided to go for the one on the left. Unfortunately for me, someone else had also decided they wanted this very locker. Before I knew it I was on the ground, a white hot pain flooding to my left arm.

Mrs. Neilson saw the incident, heard the commotion, and instantly came running over. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene, and I couldn't blame her, my arm looked broken and was already bruising. Tears were streaming down my face and she looked like she was pissed.

"Austin Moon!" she hissed, "What did you do?"

He looked over to me, lying on the floor. His chestnut eyes went as wide as saucers as he took in the situation. He ducked his little blonde head and muttered, "Oops". Mrs. Neilson shook her head as she helped me to my feet. I clutched my injured arm, as if that would somehow make the pain go away.

"Austin, would you like to walk Allison down to the nurses?" she asked him, not continuing until he slightly nodded. "Good, and while you're down there please explain how her arm got that way."

With that we began walking down the hall. I was still crying, but not as much as I had been seconds before. Right then I was more pissed than anything. Angry that someone would do this, and angry at the startling pain.

"Look I'm sorry," Austin spoke, shocking me away from my thoughts. "I just really wanted the locker beside my best friend Dez and I didn't see you there and didn't realize how hard I pushed you."

"Whatever, take the locker," I told him effectively cutting off the conversation like a 7 year old would. A stubborn 7 year old at that.

The nurse checked out my arm putting ice on it while glaring at Austin. She had called my mother telling her to take me to the hospital to be sure. And Austin started crying. He had the audacity to cry because of the nurses glare and the fact that he was a jerk. It made me smile through my own tears that he felt bad. Because he should and he should be in trouble.

I thought he should be punished waiting in the nurses office, I thought it on the long ride to the hospital, and I thought it still once we found out my arm was just majorly sprained as opposed to broken. That 'stupid kid' should receive some form of punishment for putting my arm in a brace. Yet nothing came, he wasn't punished in the least.

This made me dread going to school the next day. I didn't want to see him and I definitely didn't want to sit at the same group as him. Of course I went though, i just wasn't at all happy about it. When I arrived Mrs. Neilson grinned at me and showed me to my new locker. It was the one to the right of Trish's. I apparently wasn't allowed the one I was pushed out of the way for. But, at least I was beside Trish, that was probably the only good thing about this situation, or so I thought. When recess rolled around, Austin stopped me.

"What?" I asked him, still a mad and stubborn 7 year old.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I didn't mean it," he said this while pulling something out of his locker. "Here."

He handed me chocolates and a stuffed dolphin toy. In that moment I fell for him. While I realize now, that it was probably his mother who had suggested these, I still felt special.

"Thanks," I muttered.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

I'd kept that whole experience in my mind. It wasn't much of one but I still knew that's what made me like him at first. Even though we didn't really become friends until we were 14, I was always in love with him. Maybe not in love, but I definitely had a major crush on him. For years I had that major crush, I thought I was over it. I thought I was over it when I started liking Dallas. I thought I was over it when we got into high school.

I thought I was over him.

My hand fell on the piano, making one of those ugly 'I give up' noises. Because in truth, I give up. Why did it have to take me this long to figure out how in love I am? It's been 10 years. How the hell am I supposed to just drop that? How the hell am I so stupid? Why couldn't I have figured this out before I slept with him?

Everything is just so complicated. Nothing makes any sense to me anymore and I just can't deal with this. I wish I was that oblivious second grader again. I wish I'd never been pushed to the ground. I wish I'd never had those stupid feelings for him. I wish I wasn't sitting in the music room feeling sorry for myself. But none of that can be helped. I'm in love with Austin, I slept with him, our relationship is completely altered, and I do have so much pity for myself right now.

I propelled myself away from the piano bench, I couldn't write a song right now, not in my current frame of mind. If I wrote, it would just be a confession. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. My legs gave way and I fell to the ground. Tears streamed down my face, finally letting out the sobs that had threatened to take me over all day.

They were ugly, noisy sobs, that tainted the peaceful air of the room. I hated myself for now having this memory here, but above all I hated myself for this situation. I drew my legs to my chest, burying my head in them. I couldn't deal with anything right now. Not Austin, not Kira, not Trish, not even my feelings; I just couldn't deal. I felt like I was breaking, and I knew so many things were already broken. But there was nothing I could do, so I laid there in the fetal position until my sobs ceased into sleep.

* * *

**AN: **And on that depressing note... I was thinking that the dolphin I mentioned in this chapter was Dougie and although Austin doesn't remember giving it to her directly, it kind of explains why he was so excited about him in the show. Tying it all together. Haha anyway I've had a busy week so I'm still on completing Chapter 11 and I somewhat restructured my ending. But still, see you all next Saturday! Review please:)


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **Alright it's been a slow Newsweek... Meaning I still only have 10.5 Chapters actually written. Which is fine, it doesn't hinder me from posting Chapter 6, it just means I need to get a move on! Anyway thanks again for all the reviews etc. I apologize for the sadness, but it's good to know it's been executed well! Haha! Anyway it's Saturday so here is Chapter 6! Read, review, and enjoy! :)

PS. The italicized part in this Chapter is the video.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Austin &amp; Ally, but you know that by now:P Oh and also there's some higher grade swears here, just a warning!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 6: Ally's POV

I woke up startled. I had no idea where I was, but I knew I'd just been awakened by some loud musical noise. A horn of some sort? I sat up from my spot on the floor and noted that everything hurt. I guess that would happen when you sleep on the floor. That's two excellent nights of sleep for me in a row. Ugh, the music room, yeah I remember that now. Essentially having an emotional breakdown, yeah I definitely remember that.

I stood up, my bones aching from a hard night on the ground. I stretched out, unkinking my back and every other bone in my body. I felt as shitty as I had getting up yesterday, probably looked that bad too. I glanced at myself in the wall mirror. Lovely. My makeup had streaked down my face from the tears, and my hair looked wonderful from the fitful sleep. This was not Ally Dawson. This was someone else. Someone much less put together, someone who would let things like this happen. I knew it like I knew yesterday, this wasn't me.

And I hated that fact. Hated myself for letting any of this happen. I took a deep breath and walked into the store's bathroom. I grabbed a few squares of toilet paper and wet them, dabbing at the black mascara that had stained my face. Even with it coming off easily, I still looked like a shell of myself. This girl who I barely recognized. I hated Austin and I hated Kira and I hated myself. My legs moved on their own accord, sitting on top of the closed toilet. I ran my hands through my messy hair before settling them against my face. My pose screamed defeat. Honestly, that's all I felt and it was a devastatingly horrible feeling.

I heard my phone go off in the other room and decided maybe I should go check it out. My aching body begrudgingly moved into the song room where I noticed my song book still open to that page. My musings on Austin moving back into my mind. Okay, shove it away Ally, you can do this.

I picked up my phone, wondering if this was the first text or one of many. As I had figured they were from Trish, nothing yet on the Austin front.

_Hey where r u? I need to talk:D 10:25am_

_I went to ur house ur mom says u fell asleep in the song room? 10:47am_

_K I'm coming over! Be ready! 10:52am_

That was the most recent one. I sent a quick 'ok' and noted the smiley face in the first text. Something told me that that only meant news about Austin. I honestly wasn't up to anything of that sort. But at the same time as not wanting to hear anything about Austin, I still really wanted to hear from him. I knew that we both couldn't pretend like nothing had happened, and if we did we'd still need to talk about everything. Neither of us wanted to step up though, this I knew for a fact.

I walked around the music room, straightening pillows, making it look like I hadn't just had a mental breakdown, the usual. And then I laid my eyes on the song book. That damn page I had somehow thought was a good idea to write on. I slammed it shut, putting it back where it belonged on top of the piano. That was where it was going to stay.

Nope, it's not staying there. I decided, picking it back up and flipping directly to that page. I tore it from it's bindings and ripped it to pieces, letting them fall to the floor. The paper was like confetti thrown after a surprise party or New Years, but I could still see a word spelled out on one of the pieces. Love.

"Whoa, looks like someone hated that song," Trish said as an entrance to the room.

"Yeah," I laughed awkwardly, picking up some of the scattered paper. "It wasn't my best."

"God, you look awful!" Thanks Trish. "Did you not sleep or something?"

"Apparently I fell asleep here," I told her stretching out my back for the umpteenth time that morning. "On the floor no less, so everything hurts. Honestly, I'm surprised that my parents didn't make me come home after last night."

She smiled, plopping down on the couch. "Well I told you not to drink that much. But, I also covered for you so they probably figured you're good," she paused for a second, waiting for me to sit down. I placed the paper into the garbage and settled down next to her. "Or they figured sleeping on the floor was a good punishment."

I laughed for the first real time that day. Yeah, knowing my parents that probably was their way of punishment. Not bad, considering some kids get grounded, or beaten, or some crazy weird thing like that. But, then again having your child sleep on the floor was pretty weird too. Maybe that wasn't the punishment, maybe they just didn't want to bother me. Or maybe they knew what I did. Or what if Austin went to my house last night and gave up when I wasn't there? Or-

"Hello? Earth to Ally!" Trish said, louder than her original conversation voice had been. "Honestly it's like you're not even interested!"

"I'm here, I'm listening!" I gave her a wry smile and she continued.

I was right. It was about Austin. After Kira had given her quiz to the many girls in our school, she had apparently vigourously consulted them. I assume it must've been hours of her doing it, but she finally produced a list of names. Trish told me she saw a post on Facebook this morning from Kira - which she had posted yesterday after school - with all the girls tagged. After Trish found that, there was something else also shocking on Facebook. But, she started by showing me the list.

Alison Kapshaw

Suzanne Doherty

Jessica Kent

Lisa Darcy

Rachelle Teller

Ophelia Yao

Hanna Quaker

Samantha Arnold

Regina Lohan

Kristina Ians

Eliana Ustarez

Alene Chambers

Judy Lafebre

Nicola Cage

Olivia Lawson

Sofia Parsons

Patricia Delaney

Maya Bianchi

Mona Tellers

Ginny Carr

Frankie Webber...

The list went on and on. There were probably about a hundred girls on this list. The thing that surprised me though, was that I wasn't on it.

"Oh my God," I whispered, hoping that Trish hadn't picked it up.

But she merely nodded her head and laughed. "Yeah I was surprised too."

"Surprised about what?" I asked.

"Probably what you're surprised about," she responded and held up two fingers. "How long the list is, and the fact that you aren't on it."

I smiled wryly and shifted on the couch. The fact that I wasn't on it not only shocked me, it almost made me feel uncomfortable. Was I not on the list, because she truly didn't think it was me? Or was it because she knew and wanted to catch me? Or maybe I was just over thinking everything. I've been known to do that, even on the slightest of things.

"Ok, enough of the list. I've got something so much better!" she smiled and quickly shuffled through her phone.

Her fingers went crazy across the keys and I knew that whatever it was, was also part of this saga. She turned her phone around to me and a YouTube video was now splattered across the screen. 'Austin Moon gets Called Out!' was the title of the video. The description was nothing more than, 'That Bastard!'. Of course, the comments said more of the same, I was instantly filled with a sense of both intrigue and dread.

I glanced over at Trish, she was grinning and nodding encouragement at me. Telling me to watch it. I took one more good look at the screen, that look told me that this video had gone viral, and in a very short amount of time. And then I pressed play.

_"Austin, seriously? What the hell?" it was Kira. I could tell she was obviously exasperated, and hurt. I could also tell that this was not the first thing that had been said in this conversation. _

_"Kira I don't know what to tell you," he spoke quietly, defeated. He took a step backward and ran a hand through his hair. He looked awful. Not only did he look awful, he looked disappointed. _

_"You should tell me why you did it," she snarled. _

_He looked at her blankly. Eyes wide, hands shifting at his sides. When he looked down he finally spoke. "I was drunk." _

_She laughed mirthfully. Her hands came up into the air and a wild smirk graced her features. "That's bullshit Austin. You know that and I know that!" she was about to turn around and walk away when he called her back. _

_"Seriously? You think I did this on purpose? You think I set out yesterday with the intention of fucking someone at that party?" I could tell he was furious. The amount of times I'd heard him swear was maybe 10, including right there. But I accepted this anger, this obvious hatred directed at her, but really for himself. I could tell that with every fibre of his being, he was trying not to cry, trying not to yell, trying not to lash out. _

_She sniggered again and faced him, an eye brow raised as if daring him to speak again. When he didn't she shook her head and scuffed the pavement. "You're such an ass," she said. _

_"No," he said strongly and confidently. He was livid, he knew he was at fault here, but he didn't need this judgement placed on him. "You know who's the ass?"_

_"Who, Austin? Who might that be?" I could tell from her tone she already knew the answer. And I could tell she wasn't about to take it. _

_"It's the petty little girl who made a list of everyone she thought slept with her boyfriend. If that doesn't spell out douche, I don't know what does."_

_She laughed and held her hand up to his face. "Okay," she said placing a hand on her hip. "So let me get this straight. Not only are you calling me a bitch, but you're suddenly convinced you don't love me?" _

_He looked taken aback. This was not the response he thought she was going to say, that was clear. A thought struck me, and within the next second I knew that he had thought the same thing. _

_"Please Kira," he laughed just as she had. "If I loved you, then why would I do this?" _

_I now realized why so many people had commented bad things on this video. This little saying had even turned me a bit. I had been thinking it, but it's one of those things you don't say. Obviously she and others in the crowd felt the same way too. There were audible gasps from the crowd and Kira now looked on the verge of tears. _

_"You asshole!" someone shouted from the crowd. This was the first time Austin actually took in his surroundings, realized that people were indeed watching them. I saw a look of immediate regret cross his face. A look that I'd seen yesterday morning as he saw my bra pasted on the bulletin board. _

_"Kira," he said apologetically. "Kira, I'm so sorry!" he spoke. The sincerity in his voice struck me. Sincerity after such mirth was weird, but it made me hate him just a little more. _

_"What Austin? What, you're sorry? Bull fucking shit!" she finally let the tears spill over, I saw girls and boys alike in the crowd cover their mouths and shake their heads. "I trusted you! I loved you and I trusted you! And here's what you do, after 6 months of this, you go and fuck some other girl! You're not sorry and you never will be!" her body shook at the power of her words and the power of her sobs. _

_He stood there his face completely void of emotion. I could tell he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say, it looked as though he'd forgotten how to move. His mouth opened and closed as he looked for the right words. "I'm sorry," he settled on. _

_"Sorry doesn't cut it, bastard!" Kira spoke. She shook her head slowly and looked back up at him, a spark now in her watery eyes. "Sorry doesn't bring back a record deal." _

_I, along with everyone in the audience gasped. It was done for him, one stupid act had changed his career forever. _

_She was about to leave, when he finally found his voice again. Clearly feeling some sort of anger over this loss, he spoke. "She's not even on your list." _

Then the video ended.

"Oh my God!" I said for about the millionth time that morning.

"I know," Trish said. I couldn't tell from her voice whether she was upset or amused. I knew I wasn't thoroughly unamused by all of this, but Trish was a wild card. "I don't know if he deserves that..." she said pointing to one of the comments.

'Thank God he lost his record deal! That bastard doesn't deserve to be in the business and the slut he was with deserves to rot in Hell! They both do!' It read.

"She doesn't deserve that either," I mumbled.

Trish nodded she felt bad, but was entertained. I realized that now, it was like any form of gossip with her. There's a certain amount of pity, but then there's absolute entertainment value. I hated that value. I hated that that video was on the internet, hated that I was technically the missing link in all of this. God, celebrities must feel awful.

"There's a part of me that absolutely loves the drama of this," Trish spoke excitedly, but there was a tiny lilt to her voice. "Then there's the other part of me that's like, he's one of your best friends. He made a mistake, he doesn't deserve to lose his whole career over this."

She looked solemn. That was exactly how I felt. If this was any other person I would've been playing the hating game and the entertainment game. But this was not just any person. This was Austin. And this was my fault. Not only was I solemn, I was guilty.

"Hey, you look like you're eating yourself up over this!" dhe said to me.

"I am. He doesn't deserve the whole world hating him!" I looked down at my hands, willing myself not to just spill the beans to Trish.

"Cheer up! It's not your fault! Come on let's go shopping or something to take your mind off of this," she smiled and pulled me off the couch. "Did you want to change and shower first though?" she asked, me a laugh already present in voice.

I shook my head and let myself give in. I needed to stop. At least for now I could let go.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **Guys, you are so sweet! Thank you for all the reviews this week, and the views! I'm getting more and more every week and I'm just loving it! Although I do love it more when I see a lovely little review;). Anyway it's Friday and I'm going to be super busy tomorrow so as a treat, bring on the welcome wagon for Chapter 7! Oh and also little warning for the swearing here and a little bit of the content I guess:P Read, review, and enjoy:)

**Disclaimer: **So yeah, I don't even own this show! But thanks for reading my little attempt at fanfiction for it!:)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 7: Ally's POV

"You're mad at him, I know," Trish said to me over the phone, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's not true," I responded flopping down onto my bed. I moved slightly, grabbing whatever stuffed animal I was currently lying on. "Of course." I muttered.

"What?" Trish asked.

So she had heard that. I kind of hoped that I'd said it under my breathe, or maybe that I'd only said it in my mind. Not so. I'd grabbed the dolphin that Austin had given me when we were 7. Obviously it would have happened that way. Obviously I couldn't have been lying on any other stuffed animal. It had to be the one Austin gave me.

"When did our Sunday night homework chat turn into a Sunday night Austin chat?" I laughed.

"Please Ally," she started, and I felt like some sort of revelation was going to come out. "We talk about Austin every week whether you like it or not."

There's another reminder that I'm totally in love with him. Good God. I remained silent for a few beats too long. I could hear the kids yelling on Trish's street and her shallow breathing. All signs pointing at this being more than an acceptable amount of time when there's someone on the other end of the phone. More than an acceptable amount if there's really anyone waiting for you to talk.

"Ally," she whispered. But even in that simple whisper I felt like she knew. "You're in love with him." And she did.

"No," I denied it, not for the first time in my life. I shot up from my position in the bed, I wasn't comfortable in any way, shape, or form right now. Physically and mentally. "No. No I'm not." I told her.

I could tell that on the other end she was probably shaking her head in disbelief. It made me nervous that she wasn't right here in front of me having this conversation. I bit my lip, waiting for her next retort.

"Yes you are Ally! That's why you're so weird lately! You love him, but you hate him for what he did!" she sounded so excited, yet slightly sad. That makes sense, it's a pretty sad realization. "I mean, how can you trust someone once they've done something like that? If they did it to one girl - even the worst and stanky of girls - what would stop him from doing that to you?"

I hadn't thought of that. Obviously my mind had been too preoccupied with the fact that I was the other woman, and no longer a virgin, and I had lost Austin his record deal, and I was lying to everyone... But she was right. If he did this to her, what would stop him from doing it again?

"Yeah, thought so," Trish spoke, using my silence as an agreement.

"No," I said, slightly laughing at my stupidity. "I didn't even think of that. At all."

"So then what have you been thinking of?"

It was a simple question. Innocent enough, but it struck me. I couldn't tell her what had been plaguing me all weekend, I couldn't even admit to her that I really was in love with Austin. That was something I only recently admitted to myself. Even if the song I'd written earlier today made it seem like it was forever.

I stood up, walking over to my song book which was perched on the electronic keyboard across from my bed. I opened it and skimmed the words I had just written, and sighed. "This whole situation," I replied. "Just how shitty it is, and everything."

"You know, the usual," she said, laughing slightly.

The doorbell sounded and I walked over to my bedroom window. I realized years ago that if you looked through a certain pane, you could see who was at the front door. And speak of the devil, there was a blonde boy standing on my front porch. Well shit.

"I gotta go Trish, I have something I need to avoid."

I hung up without waiting for an answer. I had to get to the stairs before my mother invited him in. She was already there though, opening the front door as I got to the bottom step. Double shit.

"Oh Austin!" she said a smile creeping onto her features. "I haven't seen your face around here in a while."

She opened the door wider, allowing him to step inside. Only then did she finally notice me. Her head cocked to the side when she saw the hesitant and more than a little anxious look on my face. I could tell she was wondering if him and I were fighting, maybe that's why she hadn't seen him in a while. But in the next second her confusion went away. She registered my face as surprise, I gather. Letting him in while I was being punished, was not part of the deal. For breaking curfew I was told no reading for pleasure and no going out with friends. Which I had already broken by going shopping with Trish, but right now I would really like her to enact the whole not seeing friends situation. Why were they so lax on this rule, but adamant on the reading front?

"I think you might know that Ally broke curfew the other night," she shook her head at him, as if he would never do something like that! He merely gave her a nod and a sly smile, before she finally continued. "So generally her punishment is not reading for fun and not seeing her friends. I think that's why she's kind of shocked right now." My mother nodded over to my perch on the stairs. I awkwardly waved, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. "But to be honest, I think the not seeing friends punishment doesn't really make sense. Why take that away? It would mean I wouldn't even get to hang out with my daughter!"

She laughed at her little joke, telling us to have fun, then she walked off further into the house. I stood there staring at him in the hallway. He ran his hand through his hair once, searching my face for some kind of clue. My mind was racing though, every time I thought of inviting him upstairs to my room, all I could think about was the fact that there was a bed there. And we all know what Austin and I did on a bed the last time we were alone... But after many long minutes of hearing each other breathing and awkward shuffles I finally gestured him up, and made my way back to my room.

Silence enveloped us the whole way. When I finally entered what most people would consider their safe haven, I only felt it even more. I stood there watching him pace in a room he'd been in countless times, choosing a place to sit. I could only image he was mentally checking off the same things as I was.

No don't close the door. No don't sit on the bed. No don't make eye contact. No don't look at the dolphin.

Eventually he plopped down on the floor, his back leaning against my bedpost. I looked down at his outstretched legs, still wearing the red converse. It took me a few beats of a minute before I finally settled on the floor beside him. The fact that his bag was in between, separating us almost brought a smile to my face.

But whatever ounce of a smile I had, was wiped off a second later. My brain could only focus on what we had done when we were last in a bedroom together. I remembered now vividly laughing as we took our clothes off. Of course that memory would only strike when he's right beside me.

I looked down at my hands which were hurriedly fidgeting. Why was I so nervous? I've never been this nervous around him, not even when I lost my virginity. A sigh escaped my lips and I put my head into my hands. I'm so not ready to deal with this. I never will be.

"So, how's your essay coming along?" Austin asked, I assume just to have something to say.

"It was assigned on Friday," I replied "I don't have a clue what I'm doing."

"That's different..." he said, staring down at his shoes.

I laughed, it was different. Normally I'd have at least the outline done by now, if not more. I guess my brain truly was just completely incompetent after this event. Ugh. Yeah the event is probably a good title for what we did...

He shuffled next to me, unzipping his bag. Oh God, what's he doing now?

"I have something... That belongs to you," he stuttered slightly. His hands pulled out the black lace bra that had been on the bulletin board, the article that I wish would just go up in flames. He gave it back to me gingerly, still not looking me in the eyes.

I laughed lightly, "You know, I should probably just burn this. It's not like I can ever wear it now that the whole school has seen it..."

"Not like anyone would know," he spoke, still avoiding my eyes. "But burning is probably a better option."

I fingered the lace on the bra. Dancing over the patterns and little bow. I can't believe that everyone saw this. This was like my one remotely racy bra. I don't even know why I wore that specific one to the party. Because I'm an absolute idiot that's why.

I laughed out loud accidentally. Or at least I huffed out a laugh. Enough of something for Austin to hear. He looked up from his rather interesting shoes and over to me. "What?" he asked me. There was no hint of joking on his face. All I could see was what resembled a scared little boy. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to not be in this situation.

"Everything," I stated bluntly. "Everything is just shit," he flinched at my mild swear word. God I love this boy. "I'm so stupid and you're so stupid! I just can't believe that we did any of this. Do you realize how many people we've hurt? I mean not just Kira is hurt, all the girls she's potentially implicating are hurting. And another-"

"So just come out with it then," he interrupted.

"What?"

"Honestly Ally, if you feel that badly about what we did then just come out with it. Just tell the whole school everything we did. Tell the whole school about how we had sex and it was stupid," there was venom in his voice, leaving me even more confused than when he'd first come here. Was he not as embarrassed as I was about this? He'd looked so scared and not like Austin before he'd spoken.

"What?" I said again, harsher than the first time. A look of confusion crossed my features as anger crossed his.

"You heard me, Al. Obviously this is some shameful thing that we did. Obviously we've hurt so many people. Obviously we're just a bunch of idiots who don't know anything. So tell them if that clears your conscience," he started to get up, he had every intention of leaving right then and there.

I stood up straight, trying my best to be intimidating. "Well excuse you Austin Moon," a tone crept into my voice that I'd never heard before. "I didn't know it was such a privilege to sleep with you," I took a step closer to him, accusingly. "I didn't know I had to be grateful instead of guilty. I guess I'll just clear my conscience right now and fuck you right on my bed."

I registered every emotion on his face. From anger, to annoyance, to guilt, to shock. He stared at the floor again, the way he had when he first entered my bedroom. The bastard didn't even have the courage to look at me now. How lovely.

"Ally you know that's not-"

"Shut up Austin," I snapped. I had stressed about this stupid event all weekend. I had stressed even more about talking to him again. But now here we are. And he has the audacity to come in here like that?! I'd had it. "If you want to go now, you can."

He shuffled for a moment, deciding what to do. Then came a slight shake of the head, and full fledged anger. "Seriously Ally? You're joking, right? You seriously think that I'm saying it's a privilege to sleep with me? Grow up!" he hissed.

"Grow up yourself, Austin!" I yelled back. "You think you can come to my house and make me feel worse about this than I already do? Yeah, real mature there big guy."

"It's sex, Ally. It's not supposed to be this big of a deal. If you love..." A pause. "I thought we could just talk about it and that would be it, but I guess not."

"And since when is 'just talking about it' throwing a hissy fit and telling me I'm wrong?" I asked him, anger surging through my veins.

"I never said you were wrong!"

"Bullshit, Austin. You know this is wrong. This is technically considered rape!" he flinched. I knew it wasn't because I'd sworn this time, I'd gone too far. Sure if you're intoxicated, you can't exactly say no and people take advantage of that... But that wasn't us. Shit. Why did I just say that?

His face went void of all emotion. "Fine, Ally. Accuse me of rape," he snatched his bag from the floor, zipped it up and fled out my door.

I stood there for a second or two before everything came back to me. Every ounce of emotion flooded my body and tears streamed down my face. I ran out of my room and to the top of the stairs.

"Austin!" I called. The front door slammed shut.

* * *

**AN: **I'm sorry guys! This is going to cause so many heartaches! I promise you it gets better, this is just a bump in the road:P But anyway review please and see you guys next Saturday! It's almost April:O


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **Well I got a lot of views and follows for that last chapter haha. Drama draws them in, eh? So just quickly I'd like to thank **Luckystarz910** for always reviewing, and I mean like every chapter! But also to **Dr. Austin A. Winchester** whose review kinda made my day in a totally lame way. But thanks to everyone who is on this journey with me:) I FINALLY finished Chapter 11! It took me so long and I don't have a clue why haha. Anyway enough of me rambling, here is Chapter 8! :) Read, review, and enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Austin &amp; Ally. But for the record I do wish I owned How I Met Your Mother because that way I wouldn't be still pissed off at that ending...

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 8: Ally's POV

There's times when you need to let things fester. Or at least that's what it seems like now. Things were too fresh, too new, we couldn't talk to each other. This had become clear to me. We let our emotions get the better of us. But this realization didn't help me feel better in the slightest. We made that mistake in talking to each other when we were both clearly too upset to just talk. Things had been said that never should have been. I guess anger has that way with people.

A sigh escaped me. I wanted out of this incessant English lecture. I hated that I wanted out of the lecture, because I love English. It's my favourite subject and it's never boring. For the past week though, English - much like all my other classes - had been boring. I couldn't focus because everything reminded me of the catastrophe that is my social life. The blonde boy sitting in front of me reminded me of said social life.

He was slumped against the wall, trying desperately to pay attention in class. His hand was on his head, a support to keep it up. He looked bored to say the least. I knew that wasn't just it though. He may have been bored like I was, but that was a whole different and new kind of boredom. I felt so bad for him. Everyone was still hating on him, it was unrelenting. In a day he'd gone from an up and coming popular superstar to an average boy who was the brunt of the joke. I'd ruined everything for him. I ruined his life and I wasn't even sharing any of his blame. Is it worse to suffer in silence or own up and be made fun of for it? That was the question taunting me every waking hour of the day. It was a question that was even bothering me in my sleep. I'd been having the weirdest dreams and they all revolved around Austin. They all had his lazy grin, his tousled blonde locks, those enticing brown eyes. Even in my sleep I couldn't get away from him.

"Ally?" Mr. Fairfield asked. Shit. I have no idea what he asked. I'm his star student and I have no idea what he was talking about. What's he going to think of me now?

"Uhhh.." I spoke. My eyes were wide as saucers, I was desperately trying to scrounge up some answer. Someone give me a hint!

Austin slunk off of the wall and turned around to face me. "Ophelia's death," he mouthed to me. What about it?! I opened my mouth, about to spew some answer about symbolism and suicide, when the bell rang.

"Oh thank God," I whispered to the desk.

"Don't like Hamlet?" Trish asked me, a strange grimace on her face.

"We'll pick up our discussion where we left off tomorrow," Mr. Fairfield said. "Starting with you Ally."

I shot him a wry smile then looked away, somehow managing to stare at Austin who had just gotten out of his chair. He knocked twice on my desk, debating whether or not to say something. I glanced down at my maroon leather messenger bag, putting everything that I had taken out back into it. When my gaze drew upward again, he was gone. I guess he'd decided not to talk.

I huffed out my breath and shook my head, slinging my bag over my shoulder. It was then I realized Trish was watching me. I jumped.

"Okay..." she drew out the word, confusion crossing her features. "And that was?"

"What?" I asked, playing the innocent card.

She looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Ally, what is going on?"

I bit my lip as we made our way out of the classroom. I held open the navy coloured door for her before mumbling something about getting to class and not being late. This hurried mumbling was a horrible getaway attempt, but I ran off before any further questioning happened. She knew. I didn't know what she knew, but she knew something. It wasn't like I'd been discrete in my awkwardness. You'd have to be close to me to see that I had a problem, and she was exactly that. To my understanding, she probably thought I was still stressing over what we had talked about on Sunday. She probably thought I just felt awkward because I was in love with him. Well, there's a bit more on top of that.

I usually walked to class with Trish, or at least to the stairs where I'd go up and she'd stay down. But it had been different for a while. What I'd done with Austin had shifted more than just my relationship with him. It had made me feel something that I couldn't quite pinpoint, a feeling that only led to dodgy, abnormal behaviour. Which of course Trish noticed. I was probably the most obvious awkward person in the world.

I slumped down into my seat, listening to the girls in front of me yammering on about Austin. I'd realized that even though people hated him now, there were certain groups that had some degree of pity for him. Of course, those groups absolutely despised the girl he'd slept with.

"I'm totally betting she used him. Like she was probably the one who got him to the point where he would sleep with her," Tracey, a petit blonde girl who had always had a thing for him, said.

"So then why's he protecting her?" her friend Amber asked.

"I think he's just a nice guy."

"That or he doesn't know," Leslie, the third friend supplied.

At that point our teacher walked in, informing us that this was a period to work on our upcoming projects. Which basically meant everyone was going to talk. Everyone was going to talk about the giant rumour that had been plaguing the school. I sighed and pulled out my laptop. If I was smart I would've asked to go to the lab, but now he's seen my computer.

"Seriously?!" I heard Amber shriek loudly, her tanned manicured hand coming to her mouth.

"Yeah. She's throwing another party. Same day, just a different week. Everybody's thinking she's doing this to get the same result." Leslie supplied.

"I think everybody knows that's what she wants. But how fucking stupid is that?" Tracey said rolling her doe eyes. "I mean it's not like Austin's going to go to the party."

"Oh my God..." I mumbled to myself.

Suddenly three sets of eyes were on me. I stared impassively at my laptop pretending that I'd seen something on there to warrant that reaction.

"You're one of Austin's friends, aren't you?" Tracey asked.

I closed my eyes, wanting to talk about anything but him. When I opened them again I panned up the screen before meeting three curious faces. They all looked bright eyed bushy tailed. This whole Austin scenario was making everyone way too curious.

"Yes..." I said hesitantly.

Tracey beamed. Amber exchanged excited glances with Leslie. I feel an interrogation coming on.

"So like do you know who he did it with?" Leslie asked. They were positively bouncing with excitement. I absently drummed my fingers on my desk, well aware they were studying my every move.

"Uhhh..." it was times like these I wondered what my face looked like. I hoped to all hope that it was not a mask of guilt. "Well no"

Frowns crossed their features. Confusion laced Tracey's face. "But, how do you not know?"

"It's somewhat changed how Trish and I interact with him," I spoke. At least that wasn't a lie.

"So you guys aren't speaking to him?" Tracey asked, confused.

"We're speaking, just not about that," I placed emphasis on the final word, inadvertently making my eyebrows rise.

They all mumbled words of registration. Each of them studied me for a beat of a minute, trying to decide if I was reliable or not. Eventually they turned around and continued their conversation about Austin.

I pretended to be working for the rest of the class. Pretended like I was doing research, or typing, or doing something remotely productive, but all I could focus on was their conversation. It was more than Trish had gathered in her gossip search. I should've expected that though, these girls knew everything. The only thing they didn't know was that I was the one Austin had slept with.

They talked of Kira's new party. She somehow thought that the same result would happen as last time. She thought that Austin would return, and again have sex with this 'unknown' girl. I have to admit it would be pretty funny just to go there and spite her by doing that, though I'm not exactly that person. And I don't think Austin is either. This attempt was fairly futile on Kira's part, but from the gossip sisters I found out why she was doing it. She'd narrowed her list down to 20 people before taking Austin's words to heart. Obviously she wasn't on that list. Once Kira had realized that 'the mystery woman' wasn't on the list she needed a different tactic. Bring in the idea of another party! No doubt it was a stupid idea, even the gossip sisters thought so. They always say desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess this was one of many desperate measures.

Mainly though they talked about Austin rather than the odd actions of Kira. For nearly an hour they talked about him. Defending him and berating the whore who seduced him. Needless to say I was overjoyed when that last bell rang.

It was like last week. I just wanted to get home. There was no greater desire than that in my body. I just wanted out of the rumour mill, the one that was somehow revolved around me. The mystery whore, as everyone had started to call her, was faceless and nameless, but still the talk of the school. Well this mystery whore has spent only a week in this place and is already sick of it. The thing is, there's no way for it to end. Whether I come clean or not, people will still talk. Kira will still be hunting, and will be even more relentless when she finds the one who 'victimized' her. So I pose again, is it better to suffer alone or own up and be hated for it?

"Ally wait up!" Trish called from the opposite side of the foyer. "Ugh, why are you not going to your locker anymore? You're always in such a hurry! Are you avoiding me? Did I do something? Are you still pissed at me for leaving you at the party? Pissed enough that you wouldn't want to go to the makeup one tonight?" she looked so concerned, always babbling more when things were wrong. But I had had it with today and everything that had happened the past week, so I snapped.

"I'm more pissed that you even dragged me to that damn party in the first place!" I yelled a decibel too high. A red headed freshman looked over at us, curious as to what we may be fighting about. I sighed and dropped my voice. "Besides, I wouldn't be allowed to go if I wanted to."

"Right, your mom probably wouldn't want that," she spoke, ignoring my first comment. There was curiosity sparkling in her eyes, but she had the decently not to talk about it in public. "So your house or mine?" she asked in a way that told me I was not getting out of this.

"Mine."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

When Trish wants to talk about something serious, it means business. Serious business. There's very little that she takes seriously, she's a carefree spirit, the complete opposite of me. That's why I love her. But in this moment I did not love her.

We were sitting in the living room of my house. Neither of us were talking. She was simply staring at me, waiting for me to spill whatever was making me act so differently. Of course I had no idea where to start.

And a part of me was kind of mad at her for taking me to that party. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be in this mess.

"Come on," she said absolutely exasperated. She was sitting cross legged on the leather footstool in front of me, fingers toying with the strings on her zebra print scarf. "Al, come on." she said more gently, leaning forward as a sign of comfort.

I blinked a few times before everything broke. I laid my head against my drawn up knees as sobs began to wrack my body. Tears streamed down my face, making my legs wet through the fabric of my dress. My hands went to my hair, then moved to begin wiping at my eyes. I couldn't think. I could barely breathe.

"Oh my God!" I heard Trish whisper and felt her presence beside me on the couch. Her arms wrapped around me and I cried into her shoulder every pent up emotion I had had during that week was gone. It was gone in a stream of tears from a broken soul.

"Ally it's okay," Trish spoke clearly.

"No..." I garbled. "It is so... So far passed okay.. Noth..nothing is okay. Nothing is ever g..going to be okay."

"Well that's dramatic," I pulled away from her shoulder to glare. "Sorry!" she held her arms out, welcoming me back into them. I heard her sigh, I knew she didn't know what to make of this. Quite honestly, I didn't either.

I don't know how long I cried on her. All I know is that when I stopped my eyes hurt and my face was beat red.

"Are you okay?" Trish asked me quietly.

"No," I matched her tone.

"What happened?"

I took a deep shaky breath, willing myself not to cry anymore. "I had sex with Austin."

Surprise registered on her face for a moment before she closed her eyes. She let out a sigh and shook her head slightly, sending curls back and forth. When she snapped her eyes open I saw sorrow.

"Why didn't you tell me? Ally, I could've helped you. You must've felt horrible. Obviously you still do feel horrible. Oh my God, this is why you've been acting so weird. It's why Austin's been acting so weird around you. Oh I feel awful. I kept telling you everything about all of this! I kept bringing him up and forcing you to watch videos and making you read comments about yourself. Oh God, everyone at school's been talking about 'the mystery whore', I even called her that. I'm so sorry, you're not a whore. Granted you guys are stupid, but you're not a whore." she rambled on. A small smirk appeared on my face and I almost laughed. But even if she was rambling, she was right. I felt awful.

"I have no idea what to do," I sniffed.

"Have you talked to Austin?" a mixture of pity and excitement creeping into her voice.

"Yeah... Let's just say, it didn't go well."

"What? Why? What happened?"

Curiosity killed the cat. It was an expected question but a part of me didn't want to talk about it. The other more logical part of me, knew I had to though. I sighed, straightening out my legs and placing my feet on the ground. I hunched over, propping my arms up on my knees and my head on my hands. "We fought. We didn't start out that way. I mean we were awkward as hell but we were semi joking."

"So then how'd you start fighting?"

"I guess we just weren't ready to talk. I said we were stupid and Austin got all righteous, telling me to come clean if I want to," I straightened up and met her eyes. "He got really defensive and I don't know why."

"Boys are idiots." she offered, laughing slightly. "It's like a fact."

She may have been laughing, but I could tell she was angry. "Don't be mad at him, I'm just as at fault."

"Maybe, but I bet you didn't start the fight."

I huffed glancing down at my hands, "How do I fix this?"

Silence filled the room. It wasn't like Trish to just stop talking especially when she was asked a direct question. I shifted my gaze over, she was visibly shaking with anger. I opened my mouth, confused, before noticing that she was staring at something. Someone.

In the entrance to the living room, stood Austin Moon.

* * *

**AN: **Leaving on a tiny bit of a cliffhanger. Gotta keep you guys on your toes! Reviews are lovely guys:) See you next Saturday!


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** So once again, I must say you guys are awesome. I never thought I would love getting reviews this much but I do. So thank you all! I'd like to personally thank **Danibobani23** for calling me a genius, which is really cool and made me smile haha. And **Mystik225 **for being my awesome first reviewer ever who continues to review! Anyway, it's Saturday so here is the much awaited Chapter 9! Read, Review, and Enjoy:)

**Disclaimer: **Everyone already knows my claim!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 9: Ally's POV

"Austin Monica Moon!" Trish yelled jumping off the couch. She lunged at him like a puma going for its next victim. Her face contorted in rage. She was gnashing her teeth as if I were her baby that Austin was threatening. "You come right here and tell me what you did."

Austin looked confused and assaulted at the same time, but still stepped the few feet toward her. "Yes..?" he said hesitantly. He moved a hand nervously through his mussed blonde hair and glanced my way.

"No, no, you look at me. Not at her," Trish said extending herself to look taller and more intimidating. Her eyes were dark and focused intently on Austin.

"Trish?" he posed, looking my way again. I shrugged, making no attempt to diffuse the situation. There was a giant part of me that wanted to see what Trish was about to say.

"What did I just say Moon?" Trish asked venomously.

"Trish, what do you want?" he asked, looking as though he'd rather be talking to anybody but her.

"You know exactly what I want, boy."

I laughed in spite of myself. A noise which I wound up disguising as a cough. Boy?

"Um.." Austin hesitated. "Could I just talk to Ally?" He flashed her an awkward smile, pulling lightly on his shirt collar.

"Well we all know how that wound up last time," Trish said snidely.

Austin looked around her to me. I shifted on the couch, the leather sticking to my uncovered back. I avoided his gaze and instead stared at his red converse shoes. I could still feel his eyes on me, but I was definitely not meeting them. Eventually he sighed and relented. "So yet another person is mad at me," He mumbled.

"Damn right!" Trish exclaimed. "Although probably not for the reason you think. I mean I'm not pissed at you anymore for cheating on Kira so you can be relieved about that. But, I'm pissed at what you did to Ally."

"It takes two to tango," he said calmly, shrugging his shoulders.

I crossed my leg over the other, dangling my foot slightly. It was as though I was watching a soap opera play out and I needed to get comfy. As long as they didn't look at me, I was perfect.

Trish sighed. "True, but do you know how bad you've made Ally feel? I don't know if you can tell but she's been crying pretty hard today."

Not so perfect... Again, Austin took the chance to look at me. This time he studied me. This time I didn't look away. I let him look at me. The normal me, in a hi-low pink, orange, and dark red dress and a jean vest. My dark brown hair cascaded in waves over my shoulders, but my face betrayed me. My eyes were glassy and red, it looked like I was either high or had been crying for days. There were mascara lines tracked under my eyes and my mouth was traced in a permanent frown.

"Yeah," Austin said lightly "I'm sorry I made her look so sad."

"Look?!" Trish screeched.

"Wrong word choice," he defended, holding his arms up in a sort of surrender. "I feel bad Trish, ok? But I shouldn't be telling that to you."

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him. "Feel bad for what? Cheating on your girlfriend? Having sex with Ally? Making her cry? The names people are calling you? The names people are calling her? Losing your record deal? Yelling at Ally?"

"Everything. Is that fair enough?" he snapped at her. "Trish I feel horrible and you know that! Just let me talk to Ally," He sighed exasperatedly.

"No!" Trish was possibly the most stubborn person I've ever met. If she was dead set on preventing him from talking to me, then that was that. Although, I really did need to talk to him.

"Trish," Austin groaned, running a hand through his hair again.

"No!" she repeated indignantly, hands on her hips. "You should have thought about your actions before you did them!"

"Trish you aren't my mother and you're not Ally, so you shouldn't be the one lecturing me!"

She took a daring step toward him and pointed her index finger with venom. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do!"

"Don't tell ME what I can and can't do!" Austin countered.

She glared at him.

He stared at me.

I looked away.

"Austin look," Trish spoke. "I just hate what you did to my best friend. I hate that you did that, and then yelled at her for it. So no, I'm not letting you talk to her."

He sighed. "Ok fine. I'll just go then."

Austin glanced my way, shooting me a small smile. I stared down at the cherry hard wood flooring instead of facing him. I heard a scuffle then looked up. Austin had turned away and was starting to walk out of the room. My eyes stung again, seeing him leave reminded me of all the times I'd seen him walk away. I didn't want this to be yet another time where I'd broken him.

"Austin wait!" I said as I jumped up from the couch. He whipped back around to face me, eyes wide and wondrous. "I need to talk to you."

"What?" Austin and Trish spoke at the same time.

"We need to talk," I said speaking those oh so positive sounding words.

Trish stared at me questioningly while Austin looked almost relieved. Trish took a few tentative steps toward me, face impassive. Any anger she had, had now given way to confusion.

"Are you sure you want to talk to him?" she whispered to me, leaning in close to my ear. I nodded curtly. "Okay.."

Trish quietly walked from the room, turning around shortly to wave goodbye. She stooped down at the front door, shoving her feet into her boots. Quickly she put on her purple fleece sweater and rearranged her scarf. There was one last glance at me to make sure I wanted this, then she opened the door.

Once she had left, I let out all the air I had been holding. I was not looking forward to this.

Austin stood in place where he had been moments before. He looked hesitant, awkwardly picking at strings on his plaid button up. When he heard the door slam shut, our eyes met. Then quickly diverted.

Alone again, was all I could think. We didn't have the greatest history of what happens when we're alone. Not anymore.

I let out a small yawn, one of my many nervous habits and pivoted on my heel, launching myself into the kitchen.

"Did you want a drink?" I asked, busying myself in the fridge. My eyes scanned the contents. All I wanted was a distraction. I may have needed to talk to him, but that by no means meant I was excited to.

Suddenly the door to the stainless steel refrigerator slammed shut and Austin appeared on the other side of the closed door. He stared at me in earnest. I closed my eyes. He took my right hand. I opened them. He pulled me over to the couch and gestured for me to sit. I obliged.

"Just calm down Ally," Austin whispered. He sat on the black leather footstool in front of me. He leaned forward slightly and placed his hands on my knees. The only movement I made was soft breathing and fast blinking. "Just breathe."

I silently watched him as he pulled his guitar from its case. How had I not noticed that when he'd walked in? He slung the strap around himself and balanced it on his lap. Austin met my eyes. Chestnut to amber. His fingers took their place on the strings, on the chords, and he began.

Softly Austin played 'Without You'. His voice eased over the rifts and I felt my eyes prickle with whatever tears I might have left.

"There's no way

I can make it without you

Do it without you

Be here without you," Austin sang, never leaving my eyes. He smiled sadly at me.

"It's no fun

When you're doing it solo

With you it's like 'Whoa!'

Yeah and I know.." Austin choked out. He bit his lip for a moment, before continuing to the final lines.

"I own this dream

Cause I've got you here with me

There's no way I can make it without you

Do it without you

Be here without you," Austin finished. He dropped his guitar to the floor and I jumped. I hadn't heard him sing that song in months. I hadn't heard him do it slow and acoustically in years. I shook my head, smiling at him through the tears. He stared back at me, eyes glassy. In that moment, the silence spoke louder than anything we could have said. The unspoken conversation was the best thing that could have happened.

At the same time we both bolted up from out spots. I crashed against him into a hug. His arms wrapped around me, holding onto my waist. We both held on for an unacceptable amount of time, never wanting to let go.

Music is our language. This is how we speak.

"I'm so sorry," he said when we pulled apart. He stared into my eyes and moved a piece of hair away from my face. "I'm just so stupid and so sorry."

We both collapsed down onto the sofa. I sat with my knees drawn to my chest, facing forward. Austin sat next to me hanging his legs over the edge, also facing forward.

"Austin, I'm sorry too," I spoke staring just above the television. I didn't want to watch his face, or catch a glimpse of it in the TV. "We're stupid, but we didn't need to be."

"We're stupid for not talking," he said idly.

"I agree."

He sighed and I heard him shift. "Ally, please look at me."

I turned my neck slightly so I could see Austin's features. He looked like a scared little boy. I hated this look that I'd seen on him many times this week. This look that I'd somehow grown accustomed to. I shook my head lightly, and he gave me a sad smile.

"Ally, look," he started. "This week has been hell and it's because you were barely a part of it. I saw you once outside of school." He looked down at his hands and chuffed. "Once. One crappy time where we stopped being Austin and Ally."

"We're still Austin and Ally." I sniffed.

He snapped his head up at me, a solemn look coming over him. "No we aren't. Something switched, and I don't know what to make of it."

I blinked rapidly, trying to come up with some intelligent response. I was lost. "We're still Austin and Ally," I mumbled, closing my eyes and feeling defeated.

"Are we?" he asked.

"I don't know what you want me to say here, Austin," I said. He stared at me, willing me to come up with some answer.

"I love you," Austin said. Every ounce of emotion, every grasp on the world I thought I had, disappeared. Oh God. "I wouldn't have done this if I didn't feel that way. I hate myself for what I did to Kira, but I love you. And I don't take back what we did."

His words echoed in the room. Closed in on me. I loved him. Oh God did I love him. But I didn't know how to deal with that. I couldn't just say it back. I couldn't jump on him and declare my love. I couldn't do anything.

I can't lose him.

"Austin I-" I choked out.

"I'm sorry," he interrupted. "I know, it's a huge bomb. It's what I've been struggling with and trying to stop myself from even knowing but..." He hesitated, running a hand shakily through his hair. "I love you."

I closed my eyes. I tried to breathe. "Austin we can't," I managed.

"I know," he sounded choked. I couldn't make myself look at his face again. I didn't want to see this man who I had broken. "I know. I just needed you to know."

I shook my head, trying to grasp at any piece of composure I might have had left. I felt his hand come below my chin, lifting it up so I could see his face. He leaned toward me. I closed my eyes. I felt myself leaning in, felt him lean closer. I froze.

"We can't," I whispered. My eyes opened to see his face. A small smile appeared on his lips. Reassuring.

"I know," he said. He leaned back to his original spot, but held my gaze. "I know we can't. I want to be normal again, but I don't. I want to be an us, but we can't."

"I don't want to lose you," I said. It was quite possibly the lamest statement I had ever uttered. It sounded like those dramatic lines spoken in a movie when someone is about to die. But this was real life. And it was the most that I had ever wanted someone in my whole life.

"You won't," he held onto my hand and squeezed lightly. "It's been so hard without you. I hate fighting with you." He shook his head and laughed. "There's no way I can make it without you."

I laughed, then sniffed. "So what do we do?"

"We figure it out," he shrugged. "If we can't be Austin and Ally, we'll be a different Austin and Ally. And if we can't be that Austin and Ally, then we'll be another Austin and Ally."

Another laugh escaped me. I loved laughing with him. I'd missed these little antics.

I nodded. "We try. We talk. We don't avoid each other," He also nodded in agreement. "And then we write a song."

Austin laughed. A sound that never got old. A sound I had missed so much. This wasn't perfect, but for now, it would certainly have to do.

* * *

**AN: **My grammar is better now! And that makes me weirdly happy haha. Anyway I hoped everyone enjoyed that moment, I surely enjoyed writing this one:) So I have a poll on my page about an upcoming chapter and I would love if you guys voted! If you have any questions about the poll, I'll gladly answer! Anyway drop me a review, or a follow, it's always nice:)


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **I got a fair amount of reviews for that last chapter, fair amount of praise too. Thank you guys, again:) I had this dream that all my files for this story got deleted, thank God that didnt actually happen! Oh and Happy Easter! I've actually been really productive this week and finished 3 chapters! I guess that's what exam time does to a person haha. In any case, I'm pretty proud of them:) Anyway here's Chapter 10, I hope you enjoy it! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Nope. Don't own the show!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 10: Ally's POV

There's this giddy moment when you find out someone's in love with you. But there's also a horrible sinking moment when you realize you can't say it back. No matter how much, or how hopelessly in love with him you are. So I was equally over the moon and completely devastated.

Millions of thoughts flooded my mind when Austin left. Mostly revolving around his confession. He loved me. Which was crazy, and weird, and thrilling all at the same time. How did he love me? When did this start? Why was he dating Kira? Did he love me when he first started dating her? Where do we go from here? The only place I knew we couldn't go, was the place where I confessed how I felt. If I told him I loved him it would only dig us into a bigger hole. A slowly filling grave.

If I told him, Kira would know. I'd now realized more than anything, that I didn't want to be 'the mystery whore'. I didn't want anyone to find out, much less Kira herself. If I told Austin I loved him, and we started going out, everyone would know. I would inevitably become the next target.

So that left open the question: how do you go back to being just friends after you've had sex? You try, apparently. That's what we were doing. We weren't avoiding the fact of what we'd done, we were just brushing over it. Maybe it wasn't the best plan but it was the only thing that would work.

"Guess who just got a job at Boxes R' Us!" Trish said making her dramatic entrance into the Sonic Boom. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and business was slow to say the least. I was perched at the checkout counter, balancing my chin on my hand as I did stock.

"Was it you?" I asked almost routine now.

She laughed me off. "No! I can barely get a job now that I've been fired so many times! Would you believe that? You think they'd want someone with experience, and Lord knows I have that!"

I smirked, closing the store log and placing it underneath the counter. "It's their loss then," I said, being the supportive friend. This was bound to happen eventually. It was in her nature find the laziest way to do something, it couldn't be changed. She was a good manager to Austin but that was about it. As for everything else, her bad reputation in the job world had gotten around. Boy do rumours travel.

"Exactly!" she said throwing herself dramatically on a lounge chair in the front of the store. "You know, I don't get what they want."

I walked over to the opposite chair, and settled in. I ran my hands along the dark blue fabric of my jeans. "They're probably just looking for someone else right now. Plus you already have a job so I wouldn't be too worried about that."

"Do I have a job, Ally?" she asked raising her eyebrows. I could tell she was feeling particularly sassy today. "Last I checked Austin didn't have a career anymore."

I winced. "My bad."

Her features changed to a mask of shock and guilt. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant he lost the record deal, right? And I can't do much without him having that deal."

"You did a lot before," I mumbled.

"Yeah I know but now he has this reputation..." she trailed off sensing that this wasn't the best way to go. "Never mind."

"Never mind is good. I'm good with never mind," I said getting up from the lounger. Trish had tried to start this conversation many times since Thursday. She didn't understand the deal Austin and I had made, and kept trying to get me to talk about it. My response now, was to walk away from her whenever it came up.

I walked around the cash desk. Which was a futile attempt of mine to get away from her. Truthfully there was nowhere I could go to get away in here. If I went upstairs she'd follow, and I couldn't leave when I was the only one working. So I was stuck. Stuck explaining a deal that I only partly understood myself. I settled on the piano, sitting down on the plush stained black bench.

"Alright, I get that you don't want to talk. Again. And again," she rolled her eyes. "But I don't understand."

"What did you want us to just keep fighting?" I asked her.

"No," she shot up from the chair, hurriedly walking over to my spot. "No, obviously not. I just, you guys didn't really sort things out. If anything you just made it weird and one sided. He said he loved you and you-"

"Trish," I interrupted. I stared at her willing her to just shut up. "I know what happened."

"I know you do. It's just you don't know what's going to happen next."

I scoffed. "No one does!"

She shook her head and sat down on the other side of the bench. "Not that kind of unknown. I mean like, this is a half baked plan."

"It's not half baked," I affirmed, walking away from her once more. I settled on the cash desk again, creating a slight barrier in between us. "It's the wait and see approach! It's a medical thing, happens all the time."

Trish laughed. She shook her head and just snickered. "Seriously?" There was a look of disbelief on her face. "We're going the medical route? There's nothing medical about this!"

"I believe the medical term for this is fornication," I stated, rolling my eyes. That was my vain attempt at humour. The attempt to change the conversation around.

Trish shook her head, unphased by my terminology. She pushed herself off the piano bench and stormed over to the cash. She leaned heavily on the wooden ledge, looking at me incredulously. "Do you really think this is some solution? Wait and see how things go? Ally, that's the lazy mans way of doing things!"

"Well I can't exactly tell him I love him!" I huffed, throwing my arms into the air.

"And why not?"

"Because I can't lose him and I'm not about to come out and tell everyone that I'm the 'mystery whore'"

She glanced down at the counter, tracing circles in the wood with her fingertips. "It doesn't have to mean that." she mumbled.

"What else could it mean?"

"Coincidence?" she looked at me hopefully.

I shook my head and pulled out the stock book again. "Teenage minds don't work that way, my dear."

Trish groaned loudly coming over to the other side of the desk. "Stop turning away! You need to face that this isn't a good idea!" she slammed her fists on the desk. I closed my eyes, it was always so dramatic. Did I need to deal with this right now? "You need to tell him you love him back! Please Ally, I'm sure that would make things better."

She grinned at me and I shook my head again. I sighed looking down at the numbers. I wasn't going to dignify that with a response. If she wanted to talk about something else, she could. But I didn't want to hear of yet another flaw in my logic. Flaws that I was already well aware of, yet had no other choice but to accept.

Trish meandered back to the lounger, laying down and amusing herself with her phone. I'd talk to her later. After I'd calmed down, and she'd calmed down. The only thing Trish needed to realize was that not everything works out so cleanly. This was obviously one of those occasions.

I started to settle back into doing 'work duties'. But only for a moment. My gaze was drawn upward when I heard a scuffle at the door. Confusion crossed my mind as no one was actually there. That's odd... I glanced back down at the book.

"Hi Ally!" Nelson said excitedly.

I jumped as the little nerdy boy entered The Sonic Boom. Did he have a lesson today?

"I'm here for my piano lesson!"

Ah, apparently he did. He was on to piano now?

"Hey Nelson!" I smiled down at him, coming out from behind my shelter. "Ready to get to work?" I loved the idea of normalcy and Nelson - although a bit of an odd duck - reminded me of what everything had been like before this whole ordeal.

"Yup!" he chided. "Definitely ready! But one quick question. Who was that girl who just ran away from the store? She looked so... victorious. Did you guys get robbed?"

I blinked at him. Confusion rang through me again. I cocked my head to the side, no one had been in here except Trish. One quick glance over at the lounger told me that Trish was still there. I swiftly shook my head and laughed. "Nope, nothing of that sort. Now let's get down to business!"

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Ally, Trish is here." Mom whispered, poking her head into my room.

It was early Monday morning and Trish was here for our usual walk to school. I was running a little behind. Half of my clothes were in the wash, and the other half didn't match. It made for a difficult situation when having to get dressed. Eventually I'd decided to make it easy on myself and wear a simple fuchsia dress. It was cap sleeved, lace covered and had a lovely little cut out on the back. Dress to make yourself feel better? I think so.

I was just finishing up my makeup when mom informed me of Trish's arrival. I sighed. I still had one eye to go. But I could be quick. I literally had no choice but to be quick.

"Okay. Let her know I'll be down in a sec." I told mom, meeting her eyes in my bedroom mirror.

She smiled. "You look very lovely today."

My reflection grinned back at her. "Thank you."

She closed the door silently and I went back to my left eye. I lined my upper lid, leaving my mouth slightly ajar. Swiftly I drew the line then continued on with the mascara. It wasn't the greatest, but it didn't look too sloppy. I sighed. On with the day then.

I gathered my books that were laying on my bed and placed them into my messenger bag. I closed my eyes. My body was beyond tired and I'd just got up. God Monday's suck.

The place where my books had been scattered, now crinkled the bed sheet. It set my teeth on edge. I quickly straightened my comforter before leaving my room.

"Hey!" Trish beamed at me from the bottom of the stairs.

"Someone's bright and chipper today!" I chimed.

She shrugged then looked back down at her phone. Her fingers moved fast along the keys as I put on a cute pair of low heeled boots.

"Ally?" Mom spoke from the kitchen. "Come get something to eat please."

I trudged to the kitchen looking for something easy to grab. I settled on the red Macintosh apple in the fruit bowl. I wiped it slightly on the fabric of my dress before taking a large bite out of it.

"You sure that's enough?" Mom asked.

"It'll hold me till lunch," I shrugged.

Trish beckoned for me to come. I grabbed an ivory cardigan off the front desk and shoved it on before joining her. We both yelled a quick goodbye while bolting out the front door. Trish was positively bouncing. Something was going on.

"Okay," she finally spoke. "So I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but Dez texted me that the school is buzzing."

"Again?" I asked taking another bite of the apple.

"Yeah apparently. I guess it's just gossip month!"

I rolled my eyes as Trish speculated what this new revelation might be. Was it part of the Austin saga? Did someone get pregnant? Did that girl from English class get suspended again? Was Miss. Catalani going to have another nervous breakdown? She spewed theories like it was no big deal. Thinking of everyone that went to Marino High and what their baggage might be.

When we finally arrived at the front steps of our high school, it was like the last time. Groups of people were huddled everywhere talking in hushed tones. It was only 8am, how did news travel so quickly around here? Dez was right, everyone was buzzing. There was the sound of voices everywhere, and not the usual morning banter. Everyone was glaring at each other... Wait.

As Trish and I made our way up the stairs, all conversations stopped. Everyone stared at us. Everyone glared at me.

"Oh shit," I mumbled dropping the apple core on the ground.

Trish glanced over at me, eyes wide. She shook her head. "We're not there yet. You don't even know what this is about."

I huffed and stared at her incredulously. We opened the doors to a swarm of students. They were all huddled in the main foyer once again. And like it had outside, all conversations stopped. Thousands of faces turned to us. Eyes trained, scanning. I blinked. There had never been this many people staring at me in my whole life. If this didn't cause stage fright, I don't know what else would.

I felt dizzy. I felt like a mess. I felt like I was about to break and I didn't even know what they knew. Trish pulled at my arm, breaking through the crowd. She made a beeline for the bulletin board and my death sentence. Kira's weapon of choice was another note.

"Thank you Austin Moon for clearing things up," Trish read. "It's really satisfying to know that the mystery whore is in fact Ally Dawson. I loved your bra sweetheart... So much for innocent. Love Kira."

I felt my heart sink. My eyes prickled with tears. Why would he do this? I stared down at the note. The perfectly typed black words stared back at me. Mocking me. I took a shuddering breath. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I'm going to be sick.

"Ally?" Trish whispered.

And that's when I ran.

* * *

**AN: **Yeah, I'm a little twisty and I only kind of appologize for that. Like I said, bumpy road. Need to keep things interesting, and come one, you knew Kira wasn't done just yet:P Haha drop me a review!


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **Alright so a few things today so it'll be a little longer. First, I finally figured out my timeline and how it all works out. I figure I'll go back and work a few details into some chapters about this but, the party which all this drama started at was a Halloween party. That places the start date of the story at October 31st or I guess November 1st considering it was the morning after:P. Once everything is completed and all over it will be December 20th in the story world. It just so happens that 2013 literally works perfectly in that timeframe!

Anyway I don't know if that really matters to anyone, but it made things easier for me haha. So thank you to **Mystik225** (and anyone else) for getting what I was trying to imply in the last chapter. That the 'victorious girl' was meant to be Kira or one of her lackies overhearing the convo and manipulating that!:)

One final thing! To answer a question. I planned this story out over a year ago(like literally every single chapter had and still has a detailed outline), but then I didn't start to write it until December. And now we're here. So I'm currently posting Chapter 11. I currently have 17 chapters written. And I currently and have always planned for 30 chapters. However I do promise an ending that is my way. And I'm a sucker for happy endings so don't be worrying. So there ya go. Also added bonus! I'm thinking so far of some one-shots/two-shots that I can do after this. I have 3 ideas so far:) and perhaps in the distant(not so distant?) future a sequel!

And with that, my long note is over! Read, Review, and Enjoy!:)

**Disclaimer: **And so, I do not own Austin &amp; Ally.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 11: Ally's POV

I heard crashing footsteps come into the washroom.

"Ally!" Trish yelled.

Yet here I was, pathetically draped over a toilet having just up chucked an apple and remains of dinner, crying. Sobbing.

How? Why? My mind could only form inconsequential one word phrases. Austin. Why? Why? Why? Why?

There was a soft knocking on the bathroom stall I now resided in. "Ally," came Trish's calm voice. "Let me in please."

I shifted on the floor and reached up to the lock. She opened the door and slid down the wall, sitting opposite me. We stared at each other for a fair amount of time. I knew she was waiting for me to say something. But I couldn't. Instead I drew my legs up and put my head in my hands.

"Ally, come on. It's okay," Trish said.

"You keep saying that," I huffed. "It's never true."

We stared at each other again. Tears streaming down my face, blurring my vision.

"Hey," Trish said, aligning herself next to me. She sat against the white brick wall, allowing me to lean my head on her shoulder. "You gotta stop the pity party."

"Was there another party I was invited to?" I sniffed. "Is there another party that can ruin my life?"

"Ally," she sighed. Her arms wrapped around me as I cried. Even in my absolute moment of sadness, it felt good to have such an amazing friend.

Crying on that bathroom floor seemed to slow down time. All I could do was sob. My brain could not function. Every time I thought I could possibly leave, another thought struck. I'd picture Austin's face. Kira's notes. Austin's body. Kira's house. My fellow classmates. The mystery whore. Austin's smile. Austin's shoes. Austin's confession. Austin.

"Why would he do this to me? He said he loved me," I whispered. My gaze was trained on the stained blue wooden wall of the stall. I couldn't dare to look at Trish. I didn't want to see her face. I didn't want to know what she was thinking.

Trish's legs stretched out in front of her and she moved her feet back and forth. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "I can't tell you why anyone would do anything. For all we know it could be a lie."

"How would she know otherwise?" I said exasperated. My legs slipped from their scrunched up hold until they were sprawled in front of me. Trish touched her foot to mine, a gesture of solidarity.

She shrugged. "Maybe the walls have ears."

I sat there sniffling, taking in her words. Why would he do this? I woke up this morning feeling invincible. I knew he loved me. I knew he cared about me beyond belief. I knew that in every ounce of my being I felt the exact same way about him. And now... Everything that I've thought these passed few days.. What were they? Were they all lies?

I hastily wiped at my eyes. The final bell had rung ages ago. For the first time in my life, I was going to be late for a class. If I was even going at all. Which would be another first. First time skipping. Month of firsts, right? I let out all the air in my lungs in a long, shaky breath.

How do you go on from something like this? Any reputation that I'd managed to obtain in my years here was suddenly gone. Any remote friendship I had was probably gone too. I was poison. In those glances I'd gotten this morning that was inherently apparent. Nobody wants to hang around with that(italics) girl. Nobody wants to let their friends near that girl. Nobody would ever dream of letting their boyfriend around that girl. What a fucking slut.

Home wrecker.

Adulterer.

Whore.

Bitch.

Skank.

Was that what described me now? If I went out there, that's all I'd hear. That's all anyone would ever know me as. My high school legacy is going to be this. If anyone writes in my yearbook, this is what they'll remember. If I win an award, this is all anyone will ever think.

"Ally, are you okay? You're kind of just staring into blank space," Trish spoke.

I shook my head, pushing myself off the ground. "Do you really think that's a good question to ask me right now?" I huffed. "Of course I'm not okay!" I wiped away the last few angry tears and pulled down the hem of my dress.

"Maybe it's time to go home?" Trish questioned coming to her feet. "I mean, this is a horrible amount of shit to deal with. You just spent the past half hour on the floor, crying!" She glanced downwards and cringed slightly. "And apparently rid the contents of your stomach..." She bent to flush the toilet, then returned to look at me. "Go home."

I laughed, shaking my head again. "Isn't that what they want? If I go home doesn't Kira win?"

"I think Kira's already won the game she's playing..." Trish mused.

"Whatever. Screw the bitch." I unlocked and pushed open the stall door. Anger surged through me more than anything else now. I hated what I had done, but more than anything I hated what Kira had done to exploit that. I stomped over to the sink and washed away the last of my smudged makeup. There was fire in my eyes and pain in my heart. She wanted me to give up? Too bad.

I stormed out of the bathroom, not even paying attention to whether or not Trish followed. All that rang through my mind was the solid and determined clicking of my heeled boots. I was getting to class. I was proving I was better. Eventually I heard the clamored steps of Trish finally coming after me. She looked frazzled and confused as she passed me my messenger bag. I shoved it over my shoulders and climbed the front stairs on the way to Biology. Trish continued to glance nervously at me with every building step, until finally we reached the door of our biology classroom.

That's when I lost my nerve. My hand was on the doorknob, ready to turn. She's in there. Kira is in there. Kira is in there with a bunch of people who now know my secret.

"You know you don't have to go in." Trish said lightly.

I glanced back at her, letting her fully see the fear, sadness, loathing, and pain in my eyes. I shook my head and gave a wry smile. "I have to."

I turned the handle and walked in, Trish following closely behind. Miss. Daily looked over to us shocked.

"Miss. Dawson, Miss. De la Rosa. You're late. Luckily, I haven't sent the attendance down so there's no need to go to the office. Now hurry, sit down." Miss. Daily spoke, a certain degree of pity etched on her features. Great she knows too.

"I wonder which way this late is supposed to be taken." Kira snickered. "This is biology afterall, maybe we should be discussing a different sort of lateness."

Kira's friends smirked at her snide attempt at a joke. I felt all eyes on me as I walked to the back of the class and to my spot. I slunk down in my chair, taking books out of my bag. Gazes of several students were still on me, questions forming in their minds.

Power through, Ally. Don't let them get to you.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

It's funny how quickly things change. That's literally all my mind could form in all of my classes. As everyone stares at me, all I can think is how they didn't even know I existed before this morning. I was invisible before this morning. But now I sit down in class - stares. I walk around the halls - stares. I stop at my locker - stares. I pass Austin and avert my eyes - stares. Everyone was just eating this up. This was the biggest thing to rock the school since Miss. Catalani's breakdown in Grade 9. This whole scenario was wonderful for the gossip mongrels of the school, but not by any means for me.

I had spent the first two periods of the day staring down at my feet, or the desk, or the floor. I learned I couldn't meet anyone's eyes. If I locked gazes with anyone I was guaranteed to see either pity, loathing, or wonder. The floor was a much better subject.

I sighed. Where was I supposed to go now? It was lunch and I was bound to run into Austin. Not that I hadn't already, I'd seen him in the halls and as I did with everyone else, I looked away. With him it was different, it wasn't the judgement that I was looking away from. I didn't want him to see the pain in my eyes.

I sifted through my locker in a vain attempt to figure out my next move. I looked at old discarded notes, and post-its from Trish. There were doodles from boring math classes and one word stories from free periods. This was the one place I kept absolutely messy. A place that was filled to the brim with memories.

When I finally got to the papers dotted with Austin's printing, Trish appeared at my side. From her angle, I could totally see how bad this looked. I was standing at my locker staring at notes from Austin. It looked like a shitty break-up had just happened and I was that girl crying her eyes out in the movie. Not that we broke up.. That would imply that we were together. God I wish we were together. I wouldn't be so scared to talk to him now. I would certainly hurt more, but I'd feel as though I was able to tell him off.

"Uhhhh... Is it time to go home now?" Trish asked.

I shook my head and slammed the locker. "C'mon let's go to lunch."

She gave me an odd look before beginning to follow. I walked to the beat of the whispers. Everyone talking, then shushing each other as I passed.

"Ally, what are you trying to prove?" Trish hissed.

"I'm not trying to prove anything I'm just getting through the day."

"By putting yourself through torture?"

My eyes strayed over to her. I couldn't read her expression. I couldn't tell who she was angry at.

"No," I huffed and started down the stairs. "It isn't going to matter whether I go home or stay here, people are still going to talk. And if I go home today people are still going to talk tomorrow. There's no avoiding it, so why not face it?"

Trish nodded but pulled me aside when we got to the landing. She looked me in the eye and held onto my arm. "Do you know what they've been saying though?"

I scoffed and watched everyone that passed us. People were taking note of the fact that it was me standing at the bottom of the stairwell. Some even dared to point and cover their mouths in shock. I rolled my eyes and drew my gaze back to Trish. "I'm well aware."

She blinked as I turned on my heel. We walked the long corridor to the cafeteria, the murals of sports teams hanging on the walls. A completely insane part of my mind had decided to go and sit with everyone else. Pretending like I wasn't some huge spectacle. Pretending like everyone staring at me wasn't making me majorly anxious.

It was all the same. I heard the murmurs across the cafeteria. The people who knew I was there and took to hushed whispering, and the people who didn't know so they were practically yelling. Neither of which helped me feel any better. How would you feel if everyone around you was making you the brunt of the joke?

I felt sick. It was overwhelming. As much as I tried to focus on whatever Trish was saying, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on the glares and stares of everyone in the room. I stared down at the barely touched food in front of me. I couldn't let this get to me. I just couldn't.

And then the shoes appeared. The Goddamn red converse. I didn't look up. I didn't move. I didn't hear the exchange. There was no exchange. Trish had used her steely eyes and sent him away. It was then I realized I'd have to face him in English and it was then that I realized I had to go.

"Like honestly, who does she think she is?"

"What a fucking slut."

"I know! Of all people why her?"

Laughter, stares, glares, laughter, mocking, huffs, shock, points, laughter.

My eyes filled with tears. Screw being strong, I can't do this. I leapt up from the table and rushed out of the cafeteria. Trish pushed on after me. I left the room, left the halls, left the school, until I was out on the front steps.

"Ally!" Austin yelled.

Trish and I whipped around. I let out all the air in my body, all the air and all the tears. A feeble cry left me and Trish spoke. "Austin go to hell! What makes you think you can do that?"

"I- I didn't," His mouth opened in shock while his eyes spelled out worry.

"Don't give me that crap!" Trish hissed. "Don't play the innocent card here because you know exactly what you did!"

"I didn't-"

"Shut up, Austin!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "Stop. Just stop and just leave me alone."

The late autumn wind whisped around me, blowing my hair into my face. I pushed it out of my eyes and blinked. I watched as we all engaged in a standoff. Austin stood at the top of the steps, scuffing his feet along the concrete. Trish stood next to me, attempting to read the emotions that crossed my features and I was stuck in the middle.

"Look," Austin spoke. "I didn't do anything and if I did, I didn't mean to do anything."

"How do you not know if you did something..." Trish mumbled. She turned to me, looking for guidance. What was the next move?

I sighed and faced the parking lot. The sky had turned into a cloudy grey mess that looked as though it was about to rain. Perfect.

"I need to go," I told them and ran off towards my house.

* * *

**AN: **Yeah, but just because the reader knows it was Kira, doesn't mean Ally does. Haha! I promise this gets fixed my loves, I'm keeping you on your toes:P And by the way, this chapter took me forever to write and I'm not entirely satisfied with the ending... But it is what it is! Enjoy!


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:** Hey! It's Saturday:) I don't actually have much to say this time around... Just that that poll I mentioned a few chapters ago, it's been taken down! It was also about this chapter so voila! I had trouble with this one at first but I'm actually really proud of it and think it flows really well:) Let me know what you think! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** It would be really funny if people thought I still owned the show:P These are just my ideas, Austin &amp; Ally is not my show! (But this story is kind of my baby)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 12: Third Person POV

Trish shuffled across the mall cafeteria, aimlessly wandering. Dez had called on this Friday afternoon, to meet up almost an hour ago. But of course, Dez being Dez, he had not yet arrived. Trish had sent him what seemed like thousands of angry texts.

_Where are you?_

_Are you going to get your ass here soon?_

_Look you wanted to meet up._

_It's been an hour Dez._

_Where the hell are you?_

It was an understatement to say that Trish was frustrated. This whole week had been frustrating. Add on an encounter with Dez and you have a perfect week. It was hard for Trish to watch her best friend go through something like this and much like Ally, Trish had no idea what to make of it. Everything had gone from bad to worse. This whole event was really screwing up the dynamic of their friendship. It wasn't the four of them anymore. It was more like Trish and Ally, then Dez and Austin. But, in reality it was more like Austin vs. Ally, with Trish and Dez in the middle. And boy did the middle suck.

Trish sighed and slunk down into a chair. She didn't need this. On top of everything that Ally had been dealing with, and crying over, Trish did not need to deal with Dez. She was overjoyed when he called, thinking this would put an end to the whole feud. But with every passing minute she just became more and more angry. She could excuse being a few minutes late, but an hour? Please.

She shook her head and pulled out her cell phone for the millionth time. Still no response from Dez. Still no sign of him either. She scanned the cafeteria. The tables full of laughing mall customers, the line for Starbucks snaking around the corner, the mess someone had made in front of Mini's, and the colourful advertisements strewn about the walls all came into view. But still no Dez.

"God," Trish breathed. She swiped through her phone, finding the number she needed to call and placed it to her ear.

"Y'ello?"

"Where the hell are you?" Trish spoke.

"I'm in the mall, relax," Dez said breezily. Trish could almost picture him brushing her off.

She scoffed. "I've been here for an hour and you know I don't come early for things. But you told me to be here so I'm here. Why are you not here? This is important. This is probably the most important thing we've ever dealt with, Dez!"

"I know! That's why I called you," he said appearing at her table.

Trish shook her head and slammed her phone down on the table. She braced herself, making sure she didn't angrily jump him for being so late. This was serious business after all. The chair screeched as Dez pulled it and Trish took a sip of her Caramel Macchiato to calm her nerves.

"Why were you so late?"

"Does that really matter?" Dez asked, settling down. The only response was the stern gaze of Trish's steely eyes. He sighed. "I was with Austin, you happy? I couldn't exactly tell him where I was going."

"Some warning would have been nice..." Trish mused. She stared down at the peeling linoleum of the table. "So, what's up?"

"Austin didn't do it."

"I know."

Dez was taken aback. He stared at Trish in shock, grimacing. He drummed his fingers on the table, the noise echoing in the silence between them. "Does Ally know this?"

Trish shook her head solemnly. "She's too close to it all. She can't see passed what's obviously happening. And I can't blame her, I wouldn't believe it either if I was at the center. She can't go anywhere without someone realizing it's her and it sucks. It's torture," Trish ran her fingers around the rim of her cup. She paused then looked up at Dez. "She's holing herself up in the song room and writing. This is the one time I don't know if she should be doing that or not."

"What's she writing?"

"I don't know," Trish shrugged. "Something about all of this. I've caught glimpses. I saw something about blonde hair at one point, and something about hate at another... I really don't know what's going on."

"Honestly, I don't either," Dez laughed. "And this is a different kind of cluelessness than usual!"

Trish smiled sadly and aimlessly watched a teenage boy behind Dez holding hands with his girlfriend. Why couldn't it be that easy for Austin and Ally?

"How's Austin?" Trish asked.

"He's fine," Dez offhandedly said.

"What kind of fine?"

"The kind of fine that makes you super confused, and angry, and annoyed, and well you get the point. He's just- he's dealing. He knows he didn't tell Kira anything, but at the same time he's doubting everything he said because what if he gave her a hint? And he knows he can't ask Kira how she knew 'cause that will just start even more crap. And he knows he can't go to Ally 'cause they're both at odds with each other. And he can't come to you 'cause you keep yelling at him. So-"

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Trish asked throwing her hands into the air. "I can't just sit here and idolize him while my best friend hates him."

"I'm not saying idolize him, just you know, look at him every once in a while," Dez shrugged. He stared at a fly away curl from Trish's hair, avoiding looking directly at her eyes. It had been a while since the two of them had hung out alone. Ever since this whole ordeal had started their group dynamic had shifted, making it awkward for the two opposite sides to even be friends. Dez shook his head and finally met her eyes, the second part of her sentence finally registering. "Wait, Ally hates Austin now?"

Trish placed her cup back on the table and stared earnestly at him. "No. She's head over heels in love with him."

Smiles appeared on both faces before the realization struck. Sure, Austin and Ally loved each other, but there was a lot standing in between them.

"What are we supposed to do?" Trish asked.

"Is it really up to us?"

Silence fell between them again. The sounds of mall chatter filling the void. They both looked down, questioning why they had even met up. The normal conversations swelled around them. It was as though, everyone was mocking them. In their moments of complete abnormalcy, everyone was acting normal. And it was beyond the point of unfair.

"It has to be up to us. They aren't going to do anything otherwise. They'll just sit and mope and make things worse for themselves. I don't want to just sit here and watch that!" Trish said slamming her cup onto the table. A drop spilled out onto the surface and they watched it form into rivulets. Almost as though it was crying.

Dez shook his head. "But what can we do? It's not like we can have the discussion for them!"

"I know we can't, but we can egg them on. Like push them to the point where they have to talk."

"They're already at that point and still aren't talking."

Trish bit her lip and rolled her eyes. She got up from her chair and threw out the Starbucks cup. Dez followed her as she continued to walk away. A walk would clear their thoughts.

"Can you imagine how terrified they must be?" Trish asked. "This is completely uncharted waters."

Dez kicked at a balled up wrapper, before bending down and dunking it in the trash. He sighed when it missed. "I'd never want to be in their situation."

"Well don't get drunk at a party, then you'll never be in this position."

"Noted."

The conversation came to a lull again. It had never been this hard for either of them to come up with a plan. They passed the stores of the mall in silence, scuffing the floor, and glancing in the windows. Eventually their hushed shuffling brought them to the front of the Sonic Boom.

"Well. How did we get here?" Trish sighed. "I should go and talk to her, shouldn't I?"

"Is that your solution?" Dez asked, scratching his head.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Why don't I come with you?" Dez shrugged. "I mean, maybe if she hears it from me, she'll believe he didn't do it... Or she'll think I'm making it up."

"See you had me sold until that last part." Trish said agitatedly. She smoothed out the golden fabric of her shirt and headed towards the entrance.

"Wait!" Dez said, grabbing Trish's arm. "Am I coming with you or not?"

"Yeah," Trish said.

Dez squinted and scrunched up his face. "What?"

She rolled her eyes and gestured wildly at him. "God Dez, come on!"

The two friends stormed into the Sonic Boom. Lester Dawson jumped at their loud approach. He cocked his head. Although he wasn't entirely clear on what had been going on, he knew that something was up with his daughter's friends. Lester quickly broke off the conversation with a customer and hurried over to Trish and Dez.

"What's going on?" Lester asked. His face was scrunched up and tension etched the lines on his forehead.

"What?" Trish blinked, impassive. "Is that like a 'what's up?' sort of thing or a 'there's something wrong' thing?"

She made air quotes while pretending to be lost and raised her eyebrows. She knew exactly what Lester meant - the lines on his face spelled out a father's worry - but she was not about to get into this.

"Trish, what's been going on? Why is my daughter upstairs, moping around the song room?"

"She's always in there. It's not like that's anything new!" Trish brushed him off and began to head for the stairs. Dez looked between the two before smiling at Lester, then following Trish once more.

"Dez, wait," Lester spoke, placing a gentle hand on Dez's shoulder.

Dez slowly turned around, trying to remain impassive like Trish had. But Dez was not good at hiding secrets and was even worse at lying. This made impassive come out a lot more twitchy.

Lester smiled. "I haven't seen you around here in a while. How've you been?"

Trish paused on the way up the stairs. This had the possibility of turning very badly. She ran her nails along the blue rail trying to figure out her next move. She sighed and called out. "Hey Dez! Come on! Remember you don't have much time before your doctors appointment and really need to do your part of the project!"

Dez's shoulders shook in a sigh of relief. He waved to Lester and sprinted up the stairs two by two.

"I love you for being so on your toes!"

Trish stopped at the top stair and placed her hands on her hips. She raised her eyebrows at him. "Excuse me? We don't need another confession of love, you moron."

"Oh! No, that's not what I meant! I just meant you totally got me out of that and I can't think fast," Dez stared at her wide eyed. He vehemently shook his head but gave her a thumbs up.

"That's more like it," Trish mumbled and stomped off to the song room. She violently knocked on the door, yet spoke in her softest voice possible. "Ally? You in there?"

The door opened. Ally appeared on the other side, a sly smirk on her face and one eyebrow cocked. "So you knock as though you're the police, but talk as though I'm a toddler?"

Trish laughed. "Okay, maybe that wasn't the best route."

"You're just confused," Ally shrugged. "Lord knows that's a popular emotion."

Ally pivoted and headed into the song room, plopping back into the red armchair. Papers were scattered about the floor, black ink stained and crossed them, while lines creased the corners and crumpled the middle. There was a box of tissue hastily placed on the end table with a half empty water bottle sitting next to it.

"Made yourself at home, did you?" Trish mused.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about the mess, I'm just trying to get everything right," Ally said, gathering various papers that were apparently more important than others. She bit her lip and chewed her hair, creating piles of useless words and useful songs. It was during a trip of bending for the next stack that she finally noticed Dez. "Oh."

"Ally, I'm here on behalf of Trish," Dez said.

Trish squinted at his attempt at sounding smart. She laughed lightly then nodded enthusiastically at Ally. "I invited him. He has some important information."

"Okay..." Ally blinked hesitantly, straightening herself and sinking back into the chair. She placed the papers onto her lap and stared at Dez, open mouthed, waiting for the response.

"Austin didn't do it," Dez shook his head as Ally's shoulders slumped. "Like, seriously. He didn't tell Kira anything."

"Okay," Ally said again.

"Okay?" Dez said, eyes shifting between Trish and Ally. Trish shrugged while Ally closed her eyes. "What's okay? What do you mean? Ally please think of the children! Won't somebody please think of the children!"

Trish erupted into laughter at his hysterics. It always turned into a drama with Dez.

Ally shook her head and laughed too. "What the hell are you doing?" she sniffed. She got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around him. "I've missed you Dez."

He awkwardly hugged her for a moment before pulling back. "I haven't really been gone..."

"I know," Ally smiled. "You've just been like Trish, stuck. But I've barely seen you or Austin and I miss you both."

"So then go and hug him!" Dez said, throwing his arms into the air.

"That's what I've been trying to do," Ally said, gesturing at all the papers on the floor. "I spent a while believing he did it this week, but I realized that didn't make sense. So I wrote and I wrote and I wrote and nothing seemed right. I just wanted something to actually make sense so I wouldn't have to feel sick anymore."

"Sick?" Dez asked taking a large step away from her.

"Not physically.. Well kind of physically, but just heartsick. I've felt like shit all week. I get up and I go about my day and every time I see Austin I just feel nauseas. I hate that somehow, that's what our relationship has become," She laughed sadly and sat down on the floor. She wiggled her blue painted toenails and pulled her hair out of the ponytail. "I've tried writing away everything, but every time I write I just feel worse and all the words get jumbled. I've wasted a ton of Kleenex and water bottles and papers, and I don't even know why."

Dez sat down on the floor and scootched next to Ally. He placed a hand on her knee. "You know what it's for," He smiled. "It's so I don't have to be left out anymore."

Ally laughed and Trish rolled her eyes. Trish scanned one of the stacks of paper. "You know," she started. "These aren't all that bad."

Ally looked up and widened her eyes. "No, no, no, no, no, don't touch those!"

"Ally, they're good. They're perfect. Aw! Oh my God, that's so cute!" Trish said. She grinned at Ally and Dez.

Ally's face was void as she stared at Trish. She pursed her lips and sniffed. "Trish."

"Go and talk to Austin. Sing to Austin."

"Trish," Ally pleaded.

"You have me under a spell, I feel sick, I feel loved. I can't look in your eyes, but I can't look away. Please, I need something to tell me to stay. You're the one that I need, we can't end up this way."

"Aw, Ally. I love it, go do it!" Dez said, a hand on his heart.

Once more Ally bit her lip. "I dunno. I don't think it's ready."

Trish got up from the other armchair and sat next to her best friend on the floor. She handed Ally the stack of papers. "You have something here. Something in this giant stack of words makes sense and will make sense to the both of you. You said yourself that music is the language you guys speak, so go and speak."

Ally took a giant breath and steadied herself. She glanced down at the pages and drew lines with her fingers. She closed her eyes and swallowed. "Okay."


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: **Damn! Look at where we are! Chapter Lucky 13! Haha anyway thanks for all the reviews and follows and favourites last week:) I kinda love you guys! But on my side I've been having a slow week. I keep wanting to write but when I sit down to do it I just get nothing. And it doesn't help that I literally have 15 other ideas for other fanfics after this... Oh God! I did however fix the grammar and dropped hints about it being a Halloween party they were at, so at least that's done! But here's 13 and I really do like this one so I hope you do too:) Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything but my plot line.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 13: Ally's POV

I stared at the imposing emerald front door of Austin's house, shifting from foot to foot. I'd been standing here for nearly 10 minutes, but could not work up the nerve to knock. My mind was buzzing, my feet were aching, and my body was tired. Every time I brought my hand up, I was overtaken by worries. What ifs and what's next.

I sighed. You can do this, Ally. Just knock on the door. I closed my eyes, steadying myself. This is so much easier said than done. So I stood there on the doormat, feeling about a foot tall.

The door snapped open. I jumped, coming face to face with Austin's mother.

"Oh!" Mimi exclaimed. "Ally, dear. How long have you been standing out here?"

"Not long at all," I said, clearing my throat. I halfheartedly smiled at her.

She placed her hand on my shoulder, turned around, and led me back into her house. "Austin hasn't had many visitors lately," she whispered. "Whatever this deal is with Kira, I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that Austin's been hesitant, I would say. It's good to see a friendly face even if yours is hesitant too."

I blinked. "You don't know what happened?"

She pursed her lips and looked away from me. "I knew that on the night Austin didn't return home until 6am, something had happened. I know now that somehow he cheated on Kira. I think he had sex with some girl while he was drunk, or at least that's what I've gathered. To say the least, it makes me upset. I know I didn't raise him this way and neither did his father. However, the abuse he's facing now doesn't seem to be warranted."

"No," I shook my head. "It's not really. Not really fair, no."

"But again, it's good to see you. I'm sorry, if whatever this is has made you look at my son differently."

I shifted and looked down at the ground. "Mrs. Moon, I- You know it was me right?"

"Pardon?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"I don't know how to rephrase that. I just- I'm sorry."

She blinked and lines appeared on her forehead as she tried to comprehend. "You and Austin?" I nodded. "Ally, I never thought I'd be this disappointed in you."

"I- I don't know what to say to that."

"Nothing against you, or Austin, it's just..." she let out a huge sigh. "This is just something else."

"I know," I breathed. "God, do I know. Please, make whatever you want out of that, just please don't tell my parents."

She stared down at the ground and rubbed the back of her neck. A blonde strand of hair fell out of her ponytail. I scuffed my feet on the mat, clutching the papers closer to my chest. I shouldn't have said that. She didn't know! I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"Ally, I'm not going to tell your parents," she smiled at me. "But I really hope you do. I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now and I think you need someone to talk to who isn't directly involved in the situation."

I took a shaky breath. I could hear a News channel playing somewhere in their house and smell what must have been the remains of a Saturday brunch. I took comfort in those everyday things, it was quite a contrast to this conversation. Mimi stared at me earnestly. She wanted me to tell my parents, I knew that. But I didn't tell my mom things like this. I've never had a Gilmore Girls sort of relationship with her. She'd always been absorbed in her work. And I definitely wasn't telling my dad. This was way past the point of father-daughter stories.

"I told you," I shrugged. She closed her mouth and slumped her shoulders, all expectations gone. "Is there any way I could talk to Austin?" I laughed nervously.

She bobbed her head, her lips in a thin white line. "Yeah, he's upstairs." she quirked one edge of her lip into a smirk for a moment, before patting my shoulder. "If you don't want to talk to your parents, you can to me."

"Thanks," I smiled and stepped out of my flowered flats.

Mimi walked passed me, tension lines were drawn on her face. I turned on my heel and watched her saunter out the door. I gently closed it behind her and leaned against it. A sigh escaped my lips and I shut my eyes. Regret filled me over my decision. Why did I tell her again? Seemed like the thing to do apparently...

I opened my eyes, facing the wooden stairwell. I slipped off my cropped jean jacket and hung it on the bulbous stair rail. Looking down at my now bare feet, I began walking. I attempted to even my breathing as I quietly crept up the stairs.

The door to Austin's room was shut. Yet another door I needed to stand here and face. My bangs had fallen from behind my ear and onto my face, I blew them away in a huff and poised myself to knock. I swallowed.

"Austin?" I cleared my throat and gently rapped on the door.

There was muffled shuffling on the other side, the sounds of light guitar strumming stopped. The door opened and I looked up, meeting his eyes. A glint appeared in his dark brown orbs, my heart beat faster, and a slow smile made its way onto his lips.

"Ally," Austin whispered.

"Can I come in?" I asked, matching his hushed tone.

He stepped aside and walked back to his desk. He shuffled some of the papers, putting a textbook on top of them. I raised my eyebrows, but continued in and sat down on the edge of his bed, running my hands along my goose-bump covered legs.

"So," I sighed. "Would it be a bad thing if I kind of, sort of, told your mom it was me?"

Austin cocked his head and spun around to face me on his desk chair. "Uh? You?"

"As in, with this whole deal," I said, placing the papers on his bed and gesturing between us. "You know, with us."

"Oh," he said, recognition crossing his features. He laughed lightly and shook his head. "Well, I don't know if that's good or what."

I smirked. "She said she's very disappointed in me."

"Seriously? She said she was disappointed?" he chuckled. "She said the exact same thing to me."

"Mhmm, so I've heard," I said feeling the lull in our conversion. Or maybe that was just avoidance. I pinched the bridge of my nose. It's now or never. I glanced down at the sheet music I had left on his bed and scooped it up. Swallowing the rest of my fears, I got up. "Here," I thrust the sheet music into his hands. "Can you play the chords please? I would myself, but you don't own a piano."

He cocked his head. "You're singing me a song?"

"You sang me one," I shrugged.

He bobbed his head from left to right, seemingly weighing the options. "Fair enough."

My eyes scanned his fingers as he grabbed the guitar and got in place. He tentatively struck the first few notes, glancing up at me for approval. I nodded and he started over. I listened to the melodic strumming, waiting for my cue. I breathed in and sang.

"Do you still remember that day?

We lay there together, so differently,

I can picture us tangled up in skin,

But now I'm not sure where to begin.

I knew right from that moment, we had changed,

My mind was foggy, but rearranged,

And I don't know where to start,

And I don't know where to go,

But I'm lying here, wide awake,

Asking how did we end up this way?"

I blinked away the first drop of oncoming tears and moved into the chorus, that Trish had appraised. All the while my mind travelled. I couldn't help but think of what had started this. I couldn't help remembering exactly how I felt after all of this began.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

I had a headache. My head was pounding and so was the music. The red outline of the digital numbers told me that it was nearly 2am. Not that the time provided any comfort, it almost made me feel worse.

Groggily, I sat up, clutching the yellow comforter to my chest. I ran a hand through my tangled bed head and closed my eyes, willing myself not to puke.

"What are you doing?" Austin asked. He was staring transfixed at the sparkling chandelier above us.

"I have to go," I said resting my head on knee.

"Are you really in a position to leave right now?" he asked in monotone.

I sighed and looked down at him. His eyes were dark and searching. He was lying on the disheveled bed, completely straight. Unmoved. Remorse surged through me and I ran my hands over my face. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

He huffed. "If you leave now, it's not going to be good. Just as if I leave now, it won't be good." Austin shifted his eyes to mine then quickly looked away. He almost looked close to tears.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

I whipped my head around to look at him. When I met his eyes again they told a different story. My stomach churned as each moment passed, I'd never felt this way before. I didn't know if it was because I was drunk or because I'd had sex. Either way it was not helping this situation.

The first of many tears that I would shed over this, trickled down my cheeks. I sniffed and hastily wiped them away.

"Al," Austin whispered. "I mean it, don't be sorry. I'm sorry. You don't have to be."

"This isn't some solo blame action," I stated.

"I know," he breathed. "But it's 2am and nothing good comes out of 2am decisions. So don't be sorry."

I bit my lip, trying to think of anything other than this. I didn't want to have a full blown meltdown right here. But I couldn't stop trying to make sense of something, that had no sense. Letting out a shaky breath, I slowly lowered myself back down to the bed, my hair falling softly onto the pillow.

"Maybe this will all make sense in the morning," I mumbled feeling my eyes droop.

Austin nodded. "I hope."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

My mind no longer had a fog to it. The influence we had been under wasn't affecting us anymore, and the memories were there. I remembered it all. But it still didn't make any sense to me.

"How did we end up this way?

Please, we can't end up this way..." I sang the last few words, as Austin lamely strummed the final chord.

I closed my eyes. My nose stung with a peppery feeling, I knew I was about to cry. What was it about all this that made me so emotional?

"Ally," Austin whispered. I heard his guitar being placed on the ground, and felt his weight beside me. "Ally, I-"

I opened my eyes and was greeted by his face mere inches from my own. The tears I'd been holding throughout the whole song, flooded out of me. They streamed down my cheeks as silent rivers.

"Ally," Austin enveloped me into his arms. He placed his hands lightly on my back, aimlessly rubbing up and down. I wrapped myself around him, my head resting on his chest. My shoulders shook with silent sobs. All that I could hear was the rhythmic beating of Austin's heart.

"Shh," Austin murmured, rocking slightly. "Shh, Ally, it's okay."

Austin moved his hand to the back of my head, tangling in my hair. Silently he placed a kiss on my temple. I breathed him in, trying to regain any form of composure, but all that remained were my sobs. I looked up at him, a small smile appeared on his lips. His hand moved from my hair and gently wiped away the fallen tears. I let my eyes flutter shut as his face drifted closer and felt his lips gently press against mine. I let go.

My mouth moved with Austin's and I fell back on top of him. Fire ignited in my heart, in my soul, in my stomach. His hand cupped my cheek as the other gently worked through my hair. Every breath was shared with him. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my cheeks flushing red. My skin sparked with every touch. I never wanted to let him go.

My body inched closer and closer to his. I wanted to breathe in every scent, feel every inch of his skin. I never wanted to forget how I felt in this moment. It was like everything was on fire and I was fine just burning down with it.

Austin broke away from the kiss. I stared into his deep brown eyes, judging the fleeting emotions that were flying through them. They were on fire, much like my own. I saw every ounce of passion, regret, love, desire, sadness, joy, greed, lust - I saw it all. It was everything that was surging through my body and more, it was like looking in a mirror.

"Ally," Austin blinked, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. "God, I'm so sorry for everything."

"I'm sorry too, again," I whispered.

"Trust me, this isn't the end. This isn't how we're ending off."

"So what is this? The beginning?"

He shook his head slightly. "I don't know."

I closed my eyes and pushed myself away from his chest and into a seated position. I sighed. "What exactly are we?"

"I also don't know that," Austin said, popping up next to me.

We stared down at our hands, fidgeting. It seemed like a better place to look rather than each other.

"Austin, I hate this. I never thought I could hate something so much," I said abruptly. "I don't hate you, let me be clear about that. Far from hate actually, it's just everything that's happened I hate."

"I know how you feel," he muttered.

"I've never felt this bad before. I've never been this emotional before. I so much as think about this and I will cry at the drop of a hat. I don't do that. Apparently this is what our relationship is though! It's just a whole lot of me feeling sick, and sorry for myself, and crying."

"God I hope that's not all it is," he said. He looked over at me and grasped onto my hand. "It's not is it?"

"I don't know," I said. "I've never been through anything remotely like this so I have zero frame of reference."

Austin nodded and squeezed my hand lightly. He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "I wish you didn't have to feel this way, Ally. Hell, if I'm wishing anything, I wish I wasn't so stupid with Kira."

"You weren-"

"6 months. God, what was I thinking? It was stationary, it looked good, I was content... But..." he paused, closing his eyes. "How lame would it be if I said, she wasn't you?"

I huffed out a laugh and stared down at the discarded guitar. "How-"

"What-"

We both paused and looked at each other. He smiled and kissed my hand. "Maybe our problem is how this all began."

"Yeah, that's certainly problematic."

"Do you think we ever would have gotten to a point where we could be together, if we hadn't gotten drunk and had sex at that party?" Austin asked.

"I'd like to think so," I whispered. "But we'll never know."

"So what if we start properly? That way you don't have to feel sick."

"What?"

"You know," he smirked and began gesturing wildly with his hands. "Girl meets boy, boy meets girl. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. Girl asks out boy, boy asks out girl. Now girl and boy are girlfriend-boyfriend."

I laughed. "So you're going to ask me out?"

He shrugged and laughed with me. "You'll see."

* * *

**AN: **So I hope you all liked that! But I apologize for that song I wrote(or the slight part I wrote). I am not a songwriter like Ally Dawson so I hope that at least semi-lived up to it. Drop me a review!:)


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **Hey guys! It's been a week and we're almost half way there! I actually cannot believe I've gotten this far haha. Honestly, I've never gotten this far with a story and I'm super stoked to go all the way with it:) Anyway, I love reviews so please send me one this time around for this chapter. I hope you all love Chapter 14! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Nope.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 14: Ally's POV

The alarm bleated its high pitched song in my ear. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Get up, Ally. But my bed is so comfy. It's like this warm haven where I'm safe from everything and I'm so tired. I feel like I got zero sleep last night and my bed is just far too welcoming to leave. I sighed. Wait... Did that go off five times?

My eyes snapped open, staring at the blue numbers of my alarm clock. Shit. It's 7:50am. How did I sleep through the alarm? And not just one, but all five of them. I shoved the patterned grey comforter off and bolted upright. 7:50. Seriously? I picked up my phone, turned it on, and stared. 7:51am. Well I guess that makes it official. Ugh, I want to go back to sleep.

I grabbed my phone and some clean undergarments and rushed into the bathroom. There was no time to try and look put together. I quickly relieved myself, washed my hands, splashed water on my face, and pulled my rustic looking bed hair into a ponytail. I took a deep breath and plucked the dress I had worn around the house yesterday off of the bathroom floor. No one would know, only I would. The draped ultramarine frock hugged my body and went to mid thigh, it looked fine. Now, did I need makeup? I stared at my reflection in the mirror. There were definite bags under my eyes. God, did I make myself sick with all that worrying the past few weeks? Shaking my head, I dabbed on some foundation and hastily did my mascara. Okay, good enough.

7:59am.

I reached for the handle of the door then realized, I forgot to brush my teeth. I grabbed the purple dentist provided toothbrush and slapped on some toothpaste. Instead of carefully and countedly brushing, as I usually did, I quickly worked back and forth. Again, good enough.

8:02am.

School starts at 8:15am. I better not be late. But I'm going to be. My feet propelled me down the stairs at high speed and I grabbed a random pair of shoes.

"Shit," I mumbled while bending down to tie the laces. My bag is still upstairs. I barreled back up one shoe on, snatched my bag from beside my desk, and hurried down. I shoved on the other combat boot and hastily tied it.

"Ally?" my mom said poking her head out from the kitchen. Her eyes were wide in shock as she glanced down at her watch. "Ally, I thought you'd left! It's 8:06!"

"Ugh, I know! Don't remind me," I shook my head, putting on the cropped jean jacket.

"Are you alright?" she asked, advancing towards me. "You look flushed."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, waving her off. "Just annoyed I overslept and rushing around."

She looked as though she wanted to pursue the topic, feel my forehead, make sure I wasn't really sick. But she shook her head and grabbed the keys off the front desk table. "Come on,"

I sighed in relief. Thank God, that'll make me slightly earlier. My mom hurried out the front door, having already started the car as I stepped out. Slamming the door behind me, I fluttered to the passenger side and buckled the seatbelt.

"Are you sure you're okay?" my mom asked as she backed out of the driveway.

"Completely positive," I replied, neglecting to mention the fact that I was exhausted and dizzy.

"Did you need something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine. It'll just make me later and I can't eat in Biology anyway."

She nodded, looking hesitant. I stared out the window, watching the world speed by. Really speed by. My mom was way over the posted limit. I closed my eyes to find my center, and maybe get a tiny bit of sleep. Mostly, I just wanted to not feel dizzy.

"You okay?" my mom asked as she edged into the front turnaround of the school. "I mean, you came home sick last Monday. Are you sure you aren't still sick?"

8:15am. On the dot.

"Yeah," I nodded, reaching for the door handle. "Thank you so much!"

I slammed the door shut without a second glance. I was not allowing her to ask more questions. My gait was a strong run up to the 'welcoming' steel doors. I shoved them open and was greeted with the national anthem which everyone is expected to stay perfectly still, straight, and standing tall for.

I huffed. Tick-tock, tick-tock. The time moved by as the announcements started, ticking away, making me later and later. I'd heard from the delinquents of the school that Vice Principal O'Hara hated when anyone moved, even through the announcements. The fact was, I could be on my way, merrily dashing to class, but VP O'Hara was glaring at me every time I dared to inch away.

Eventually the end beep sounded, a cheery 'Go Manatees' closing out the announcements of the day. VP O'Hara nodded at the few of us in the hall, and we were off. I bounded up the staircase, to my locker and quickly entered the combination to my lock. It opened with a jarring squeak. I placed my lunch bag on the middle shelf and shoved the large biology textbook into my bag. I let out a terse puff of air and quietly shut the metal door, making sure it was in fact locked.

Silently, I crept down the hall. I didn't want to make a ton of noise and disturb classes that were already in progress. It was only a few minutes into the day, but some teachers worked quickly. Miss. Daily had probably started her lecture by now. I turned the knob until I heard the click, and entered the classroom. My face was tinged red as all eyes turned to see who had barged into their class.

"Ah, Miss. Dawson," Miss. Daily spoke, turning her attention away from the projector. "Nice of you to join us. I hope this isn't a pattern that you've started for Monday's."

Heat rushed to my cheeks and my gaze turned to the floor. Everything is so much worse when people call attention to it. I swept in passed everyone to my seat at the back of the class.

"It's so nice of you to join us!" Trish mocked. She shook her head and pointed down at her notes. Test next Thursday.

I nodded and pulled out my books. It was time to focus. I absently twiddled the pen between my fingers, listening to Miss. Daily yammer on about zygotes. It took me a few beats of a minute before realizing someone was staring at me. Kira. I half smiled at her then turned away. That girl really needs to get a life.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Can you imagine me wearing it though?" Trish asked, pointing to a photo on her phone. "Like, it's perfect! I mean obviously it needs a little pizzazz and accessorizing, but it's definitely something I would get."

I sighed and pushed my biology textbook into my locker. It made a swooshing noise as it landed amongst the papers. I smiled and pulled a stray hair out of my eye. "It's lovely."

"You don't even care," she rolled her eyes. "You've been out of it all day, and not to mention you were late to class. What's up?"

"Nothing," I replied. "I'm just exhausted. I feel like I made myself sick with all the crap that's been going on."

She nodded. "That's a pretty fair assumption."

I grabbed our new book for English out of my locker. The Scarlet Letter. Wasn't that just ironic and special to have been assigned last Monday. I may have actually laughed when Mr. Fairfield handed it to me. And I may have gotten a very weird look from him when I let out that laugh.

"Are you done yet? I'm starving!" Trish said.

"Uh yeah," I said, pulling out my History textbook. History was probably my least favourite class now. With Tracey, Leslie, and Amber - aka the gossip sisters - I just couldn't catch a break. It started with them being angry at me for not telling them I was 'The Mystery Whore', then they were angry because I had clearly manipulated Austin, then they were angry because I had had sex with him, and finally they had come to terms with everything and were just ignoring me. But that didn't mean they weren't talking about me while I was sitting right behind them. If anything this whole ordeal has really made me learn to grow a thicker skin.

"Still considering skipping History?"

"No," I said and slammed the door shut. "I passed that last week. Right now I'm just really wishing everyone would get a life. Like there's much more important things to be worrying about!"

Trish shook her head and her face erupted into a giant smile.

"Ally!" I heard from down the hall. Austin was barreling at Trish and I with full speed. Ah, now I understand the grin.

I grinned back as he came to a full stop in front of us. "What?" I laughed.

"Ally!" he yelled again with a chuckle. I noticed eyes turn towards us and a few judgmental groans, to which I rolled my eyes. "Ally," he said more subdued, breathless.

"What!" I said, eyes wide and hands outstretched.

Austin was bouncing, shifting back and forth in excitement. I leaned towards him, prompting him. "Guess who still has a record deal?!"

"What? Oh my God! You weren't fired?!"

"No! They can't fire me over something like this, it says so in my contract!"

"Oh my God, you're still a star!" I exclaimed, throwing myself at him. He took this momentum, picked me off the ground and spun lightly in a circle. I laughed as my feet touched the ground, holding onto him still. Well that made me dizzy again.

"Get a room!" I heard someone yell from across the hall.

I smirked and shook my head, pulling back from Austin. He gave me a sly devilish look, then winked.

"People really need to get over themselves," Trish huffed.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

I put my head down on the cool metal surface of the grand piano. This was beyond the point of exhaustion. I mean, theoretically everything's been resolved. Maybe this is my resolution. Everything just rushing over me, making me feel awful, and then leaving for good. God I hope so. I shut my eyes, hoping no one would enter the shop and disturb me.

"Hey sweetie," my dad said, placing his hand on my shoulder. "You alright? Did you want to just go home?"

I groggily lifted my head up and blinked a few times until everything was in focus. "No," I shook my head "I'm fine."

"You sure?" he rubbed my back slightly and smiled. "Honey, I don't mind really. It's Monday. It's dead here today."

I bit my lip. If I go home, that's where my bed is. The fact is my bed is a lot comfier than the piano. I sighed, checking the front of the shop and making sure it was in fact, dead. I nodded. "Okay, I'm on my way then."

I pushed myself off of the pleather bench and scuffed over to the front desk. Bending down, I grabbed my song book, my messenger back, and my coat. I shimmied into the cropped jean jacket and turned back to face my dad.

"You don't need my help? Like for sure?" I asked him. He nodded as recognition crossed his features. I pivoted on my heel and saw what he had been transfixed upon.

What the hell?

In the doorway to the shop were two of my music students; Nelson and a girl named Clary. They were playing the flute - albeit not well, but they were still playing - clad in flower crowns and angel wings. They stood stationary as Trish and Dez pranced in throwing flower petals and confetti onto the floor. I raised my eyebrows and let out a laugh. My dad came and stood beside me, a mask of entertainment was drawn on his face as Dez came and placed blue crowns of daisies on our heads.

I crinkled my nose and reached up to fit the crown better over my ponytail. "Dez, what?" I giggled.

He pressed a finger to his lips and shushed me before raining multicoloured petals down on us. I glanced up watching the petals fall to the ground. When my gaze turned upward a curious smile creeped onto my face. Austin.

Guitar in hand and daisies in hair, walked Austin. He was lightly strumming chords as he sauntered in. Be still my beating heart... His cheeks flushed as he took the final steps towards me, a nervous glint in his eyes.

Austin Moon stood before me, staring at me as if I were the only girl on earth. Sporting a dark grey suit, a light blue tie, and messy blonde locks held down with daisies - was my Austin.

"What are you doing?" I breathed.

"What I promised," he smiled, continuing to strum the guitar. "I'm starting over the right way."

I cocked my head. "Are you going to sing me a song or just play guitar?"

"Well, you see, I tried to write a song but I'm not good at the words so I have chords. I need you to find the words."

"You're asking me to write you a song to win me over?" I laughed.

"No," he smirked. "I'm asking you to give words to my melody. We're best when we're together."

"Awwww," Trish and Dez singsonged together. I whipped my head towards them as Austin looked down and chuckled.

Austin grabbed my hands and my gaze returned to his face. His eyes moved from mine to my father's looming figure next to us. Austin smiled and I glanced over to see my dad filming us on his camera phone. Was he in on this too? I flipped back and forth between the angels at the door, Trish and Dez still throwing their mixture of confetti and petals, Austin who was staring at me with an aloof, goofy, look of love, and my dad who was grinning from ear to ear, documenting this event.

I looked down, blushing. "Ok..."

"Ally," Austin said, squeezing my hands. He continued to hold one then brought the other under my chin so I was looking into his eyes. I smiled, feeling as though I could cry of elation. "Ally, can we start over? Will you go out with me? Will you be my girlfriend?"

I shook my head back and forth, which brought panic to his eyes. I gasped and laughed. "God, sorry. Yes! Are you kidding me? Of course I'll go out with you!"

Austin grinned and closed his eyes. He sighed in relief. "Thank God," he whispered. I laughed and our lips crashed together. Austin flipped his guitar to the back and his arms rushed around me. They fell to the small of my back and mine wrapped around his neck. I kissed him like we were the only ones in the world, like I had nothing to lose, like every bone in my body wanted nothing more than him. I felt sparks, fire, elation. This is what heaven feels like.

* * *

**AN: **So I'm not sure if anyone reads these author notes - let alone the ones at the bottom - but hopefully you read this one! I'm putting some important information down here:) Anyway, I'm going away on Tuesday until next Friday(so 10 days from the 20th-30th). Unfortunately I won't have access to internet so this is my last post until the 31st of May! But don't worry, I think we left on a pretty good note and I hope you liked this one! See ya then! Drop me a review:)


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: **Hey guys, I'm back! Thanks to everyone who wished me a great trip, it was a lot of fun! And for those of you who asked, it was a little trip away with some friends to a cottage. Kind of like an "It's the beginning of summer and we survived school, so let's party" trip. Also thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter, as you know I love those little things. They pretty much make my day and I don't care how lame that makes me haha. I'm also loving the theories in the reviews and private messages that I'm getting. Good to know people are so involved! Thanks for the love and involvement!

So, here we are at the halfway point! Chapter 15, wow, oh, wow. Definitely didn't think I'd get here, but I'm grateful I did! This chapter is a little bit longer (like it may be double the size of most), though I think it's still good. It's up to my standards haha! So, Read, Review, and Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Austin or Ally! Also if you're offended by a tiny little dwarf joke, I apologize.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 15: Ally's POV

"So what're you wearing?" Trish asked, fingering the items in my closet.

"I don't have a clue," I said, raising my head from my pillow. I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, as Trish flitted around my room. She was searching for makeup, clothes, accessories, and necessities for my date with Austin.

"Where's he taking you again?"

"Some dinner theatre place."

"You sound so enthused," she laughed, pulling a gem encrusted blouse from my closet.

I raised my eyebrows at the outfit. When did I buy that anyway? "No, just tired."

"You've been so rundown this week," she mused.

I nodded. I wasn't about to disagree with that. I'd basically worried myself to the point of sickness. Gotten myself so worked up over nothing.

"Okay," Trish jumped to the foot of the bed. "How bout this?"

I sat up and stared. She'd pulled out a white, anchor patterned maxi dress and a blue scarf-like shall. I twitched my mouth from left to right... Hmmm..

"No," I decided. "I'm short. I don't need to look shorter."

"Why do you own it then?" she asked.

I shrugged and pushed myself off the bed. Trish was still busying herself in my closet, trying to find something remotely interesting. The thing was, Austin had pretty well seen all of my clothes. That's what happens when you see someone. Every. Single. Day. But there was also the fact that I rarely wore jeans, or pants, or shorts. My go to look is a skirt or a dress. A look that a lot of girls would wear out on dates. A look that on me, was nothing special.

"Okay Trish," I said in mid-stride. "We're going for different."

"What?" she paused, holding up a lavender cardigan.

"Dresses don't look special on me anymore, I need something different and wow worthy!"

She blinked at me. "You're kidding right? You look good in everything! And I mean everything. Like I literally have never seen a colour that looks bad on you."

And then inspiration struck. Her eyes grew wide and she snapped her fingers. Trish dug through my closet, discarding clothes left and right. A red sweater landed on the floor, teal shorts plopped on my bed, a grey and white chevron skirt fell onto my head. I pushed away the fabric and Trish reappeared, outfit in hand.

"Ta-da!" she smirked.

Wow. This was it. It was a black dress that was covered in lace and clung tight to my body. It was belted at the waist, similarly in black and hung down to mid-thigh. The dress went up to my neck where triangular cut outs were placed. I remember trying it on and feeling like a Bond girl. A gorgeous, sexy, totally non-Ally, Bond girl. I'd bought it for an Austin event that never panned out and it had laid in my closet ever since.

Trish grinned. "Yeah, I thought so!" she placed the dress gingerly on my bed, swiping away the other discarded clothing. "I was thinking red lips and hair half up? Full on Ally Bond?"

I laughed. "God yes. That sounds perfect!"

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Ready?" Trish shouted up the stairs to me.

"Trish, I can't go down the stairs in these heels!" I yelled back, holding the wall for support. "I can't walk, period."

"Okay," she called. "We'll switch the shoes! Just come down!"

I sighed and bent down to take off the patent leather black pumps. My bare feet sunk into the plush carpet on my descent down the stairs. Trish had situated my mother at the bottom for my dramatic reveal. I figured it was good she was the only one home, that way my dad wouldn't give Austin the riot act.

Trish smiled as I came around the bend of the staircase. She gave me a thumbs-up as my mom's mouth dropped open. I bit my lip and glanced down at the ground. This was so not me... But I kind of loved it. It felt good to get all dressed up and pretty every once in a while. This was definitely the perfect dress for that.

"Ally!" my mom said "Spin for me!"

I laughed and turned around slowly so she could see my look from every angle. The smoky eyes and red lips. The figure hugging, curve accentuating wonder dress. The hair that Trish had swept to the back of my head in a braided bun, leaving two face framing curled stands of hair in front. All of it put together something that was completely different, yet perfect on me.

"Your Dad is not going to like this," my mom giggled. "You look gorgeous, honey!"

Mom kissed my forehead before running off and grabbing the camera. Trish scurried up the stairs and came back down with a different pair of shoes in hand. They were black lace peep toe booties that looked much more manageable to walk in. Trish placed the booties on the ground and I bent down to put them on my feet. Ah, much better. And they had more support too!

Trish nodded. "We're good," she smiled then snapped her fingers "A coat!"

"Trish," I laughed and turned around to find that my mother had returned. "It's 70 degrees! The most I would need is a sweater!"

"For decoration! Like a lovely little black dress coat."

My mom shrugged and Trish pulled a dress coat out of the closet. "Just hang it over your arm or leave it in the car," my mom said. "Now! Pictures!"

"Mom! This isn't even some huge event! It's just a date, and Austin isn't even here yet!"

"Honey," she rolled her eyes and poised the camera to shoot. "This isn't just some date. It's you and Austin and you know that that's special! If I know that's special and Trish knows its special, then it's special."

"Yeah, just think Ally," Trish said, a devious smirk appearing on her face. "He could be your soulmate!"

I shook my head at her, secretly hoping that maybe that were true. My mom gestured for Trish and I to stand together and we obliged. We grinned and posed in odd ways as the flash snapped. The word smile was said only about a thousand times. But by the end of it, we were a giggling mess.

"Stop you're making my makeup run!" I snickered.

"It's waterproof! It shouldn't be running!" Trish said, inspecting my face. "Nah, you're good. You're tearing up but not running. Just be careful when you rub your eyes."

I wiped away the water and glanced at the clock on the microwave. Austin was picking me up at 6 o'clock so that we'd have leisure time to get to the dinner theatre. Dinner was to be served at 7:00pm sharp, while the show would start at 7:15pm - give or take a few minutes. Either way, my stomach was starting to ache and I was starting to feel nauseas with anticipation.

"You okay?" Trish asked.

I sat down onto the couch crossing one leg over the other. "I just can't believe this is happening."

The doorbell rang and Trish grinned. "Well, believe it sister!"

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Even though your dad was awesomely supportive about the whole 'me asking you out thing' I'm kind of glad he's not here tonight," Austin said as soon as we were out of the house. I laughed, shuffling into his beat up Mazda. He closed the door behind me and I rearranged my dress.

"What? You think he'd have a problem with us?" I asked him.

Austin plopped into the drivers seat and flashed me a smile. "I don't think he'd want to see his daughter this way."

"You saying I look like a hooker?"

"Well," Austin smirked and shook his head. "If you're a hooker, then you're the most beautiful hooker I've ever seen. But I sincerely hope you aren't a hooker because I will feel very meaningless on this date if you are."

I slapped his shoulder lightly and he snickered. Austin turned the key in the ignition and backed out of my driveway. I couldn't help but notice that his cheeks were permanently stained red and the corners of his mouth were turned up. This boy must be the cutest thing in the world.

"So I'm not too dressed up, am I?"

"No, no. You're perfect," he smiled looking me over once more. I bashfully glanced down into my lap.

"Eyes on the road, Austin," I whispered.

He nodded and looked ahead again, a smirk still present on his lips. He is so cute. I've already fallen for him, but I can literally feel myself falling even harder. How does he do it? His eyes continued to shift from the road to me. Each time we met, we giggled and looked away. It felt like sixth grade all over again. That giddy crush feeling. Oh, I had that.

Austin turned into a parking lot for a bakery and stopped the car. He smiled at me.

"Why are we stopped?"

"Just forgot something," he laughed. "So does your mom take pictures with all your dates?"

"No," I breathed. "Just you. She and Trish think that you're my soulmate."

I braced myself for a bad reaction. Those were kind of scary words for a first date. "Oh," he smirked. "And what if I am?"

I shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Austin laughed and I sensed him coming closer to me. "Is this what you forgot?"

"Maybe," he chuckled. Our lips met in a short, soft, sweet, kiss. We parted a moment later and smiled at each other. "You know, you really are beautiful."

A blush crept onto my cheeks and I turned my gaze downward. I'm in love. I'm so in love. Austin brought his hand beneath my chin and I met his eyes again. There was a spark in his dark brown orbs, a glint of happiness and I definitely felt it too. His lips came onto mine again and I threw my arms around his neck. I gently kicked off my shoes, unbuckled my belt, and climbed onto his lap. He drew his arms around my waist, helping me settle on top on him. Our lips worked together and we kissed like there was no tomorrow. He held me close to him. His hands touched up and down the length of my spine, sending shivers through my body. I worked my hands in knots through his hair as his mouth travelled from mine to my neck. Our breathing was hot and fast, I could feel him tracing lines of kisses on my neck and the exposed area of my collar bone. My hands moved to the buttons on his shirt, bunching and undoing in swift moves. Desire settled in my stomach, I never wanted to let go. I never wanted to stop. Austin's mouth came back to mine and I forced all the passion I was feeling into that kiss. My hands went to his shoulders and he held me there. Our lips smacked together and he playfully bit down on my lower lip. I laughed and kissed him back. He pushed my body flush against him. I felt the little bit of exposed skin of his chest, the calloused musical hands on the back of my thighs, and the soft lips that were under mine. My stomach was doing flip-flops, my heart was on fire, and my head was swimming.

And that's when there was a knock on the window.

"Oh my God!" I jumped.

Waiting on the other side of the window was a smirking young police officer. Austin hastily re-did the buttons of his shirt and rolled down the window.

"Hello kids," the officer drawled. "Having fun?"

"Uhhh," Austin stumbled out.

"Hate to be the party pooper, but you're on public property and it's still light outside. You might want to go elsewhere if 'that' was your intention," he laughed lightly and tipped his hat. "Have a good night."

The officer loped into the bakery and I blinked. Austin laughed as I clambered back into the passenger seat. A blush creeped over my cheeks and Austin wiped my red lipstick off of his.

"Well, now I understand how we did that at Kira's," Austin said, biting back another laugh.

"Oh God, I never expected that to happen. Cops come knocking at the window? That's certainly an interesting way to start a first date."

I glanced down at the clock on the dashboard. It was getting a little late. Maybe this was why Austin had picked me up so early. He rolled up the window, buckled his belt, and started the car. "Time to get a move on! We need to be there for 7 sharp!" he mocked.

I shook my head, giggling and we drove away. I glanced in the passenger side mirror and quickly swiped some red lipstick over my lips again. The world sped past us as we made our way to the dinner theatre. Palm trees, restaurants, houses, teenagers, movie theatres, beach scenes, department stores - they all flew by in a mass of colour as we straightened ourselves, laughed, talked, and made googly eyes at each other.

Eventually we arrived. It seemed as though we were just on time. A security guard was directing traffic in the parking lot. He gestured us to a spot on the left. Austin swung into the space and flashed a smile my way.

"Shall we?" he asked in glorious fanfare.

"We shall!" I replied, opening the door and swinging my legs out. Within a second Austin was on my side, holding a hand out to help me out of the car. "Thank you!" I smiled.

He kept the hold on my hand as we walked towards the entrance. The cuff of his midnight blue dress shirt brushed against my bare wrist. A smile crept onto my lips. Whoever thought we'd get this far? Who thought that we'd actually start going out? Who thought we were ever going to go to a dinner performance? I certainly didn't, but I'm definitely not complaining.

We reached the open glass doors where men in dark grey suits were jovially greeting everyone. The old, jolly men smiled at us and checked the tickets which Austin had pulled out of his shirt pocket. They waved us through, stopping us only to tell me that I looked beautiful - much like they had done with every woman who passed. It made me blush. I'd been to plays before, both on broadway and off, but none had been this welcoming or flattering. This was about to be some cool, new experience.

"Wow," Austin mumbled as a waitress, dressed in 50's era clothing, brought us to our seats.

Tables and chairs were in a giant arch around the stage, set in twos or fours. The deep red curtain was drawn, shielding the backstage from the awaiting viewers. Above our heads was a gorgeous, sparkling chandelier. Lights were strung around too, making it look like stars were floating in the air. There were pillars, and old sconces, draped in ivy and vines. It was as though we were dining in the park.

"This is magical," I whispered, pulling in my chair. Austin sat down next to me, eyes wide.

"I'd heard that it was amazing in here, but wow. It does not disappoint."

I laughed. "So, they're dressed as the 50's... What're we seeing?"

Austin rolled his eyes. "Take a guess."

"Grease?"

He nodded as dinner was announced and brought out. It was - as they had told us - exactly 7 o'clock. They placed classic diner food before us. Burgers, fries, and milkshakes. Obviously not the most fancy food, but it went perfectly with the show they were about to perform.

"This is so cool!" I mused. I loved the feel of the theatre, the layout of the tables, the aroma of delicious food, the authentic 50's garb to go along with the play they were about to put on. "Do you think they wear different style clothing depending on what show they're doing?"

"They probably do that," Austin replied, taking a giant bite out of his burger. He held back a moan and shut his eyes. "God, that's good!"

"Would you say best burger ever?" I asked, laughing at the pure look of ecstasy on his face.

He took another bite of his burger, swallowed, then grinned. "Talk about gourmet!"

A smirk came across my lips. How did he manage to be cute while eating a burger? I glanced down at my hulking, juicy, burger - nothing had ever looked or smelt this good to me. I brought it up to my lips, staining the bun red with lipstick, and took a huge bite.

"Oh my God! Best thing I've ever tasted!"

Austin smiled, then picked apart his burger. I cocked my head to the side and scrunched up my face. He pulled out a tomato and gestures to me. "You like tomatoes right?"

"You don't?" I asked, surprised.

"Not on my burger," he shook his head.

I nodded and let him place the tomato slice under my bun. Lettuce, pickles, cheese, ketchup - it looks like I didn't have a tomato on mine to begin with.

"Thank you for that," I winked.

Austin took a sip of his milkshake as I chowed down on some fries. This really was a good meal.

Chatter filled the theatre, of people marveling over the decor and the food. It was a sight to see. I was glad that Austin had chosen a place that was so out of the ordinary, yet so us. I bit my lip to hold back a grin. This was perfect. And that is such an understatement. This was beyond perfect. It was me, and Austin, and music, and theatre, and gourmet food, and ambience, and fancy dress, and stars, and ivy. Is it okay to cry over how cute everything is?

"See that guy over there with the hat?" Austin asked, jarring me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Do you think he smuggled a dwarf in with that hat?"

My eyes widened and I laughed, slapping Austin lightly on the arm. The man in question, looked as though he was in his forties and was probably out with his wife. The hat in question was an abnormally large cowboy hat. He more than likely could be hiding something under it.

Austin smirked and took another bite of his burger. I followed suit, biting into my newly tomato clad one. We ate in silence for a few minutes, not wanting to talk while eating food this delicious. But between those beating minutes, I went from giddy, nervous, excited, salivated, and happy - to sick.

My stomach churned and I was suddenly forced to put my burger back on its bedded lettuce plate. I blinked a few times, wondering if this was just my nerves sinking in again. Maybe the exciting, nervous debacle of my first date with Austin was giving me butterflies. But this wasn't butterflies... Does food poisoning act this fast?

"Hey," Austin touched my arm, lines drawn on his face in concern. "Are you okay? You've gone pale."

"What time is it? Maybe I'll just go to the washroom before the show." I replied with no intention to wait for his answer.

I briskly walked to the bathroom, not wanting to risk falling in these shoes. It was easily located at the front of the theatre and luckily there were no lines. Even in my moment of sickness, I was still able to take in the beauty of the room. It seemed entirely marble, as if it were part of a Versailles. There was a fainting couch at the entrance and dark cherry wooden doors to every stall.

I hurriedly scuttled in the last few steps and locked a door behind me. A second later, everything I had consumed during dinner was in the toilet. One of the doors slammed open and shut, heels clicked to the sinks. I rest my head against the cool porcelain and tried to even my breathing.

"Bulimia these days," the woman at the sink spoke.

I laughed in spite of myself. That was such a rude comment! What if I actually had an eating disorder? She was speaking as though it were some fad that young folks love getting swept up into.

"Good luck, sweetheart!" she chimed as she clicked away and out the bathroom door.

I brushed a strand of curled hair away from my face and let out a stream of air. I closed my eyes and reached for the handle to flush. Steadying myself on my feet and making sure that the bout of nausea was gone, I slowly reopened my eyes. The world was no longer shaking. But now, my head was pounding.

I unlocked the door and stalked over to the sinks. Boy, am I pale. I took in a couple even breaths hunched over the sink, willing myself not to cry. I turned on the faucet and placed my cold wet hands at the back of my neck, then splashed water on my cheeks. I grabbed a paper towel and gently dabbed it on my face to be rid of the water and not smudge my makeup.

Breathe.

Breathe.

I bit my lip and threw the paper towel into the trash. There was an awful taste in my mouth, but bending to get a drink of water didn't really appeal to me. I let out a shaky breath and stood on shaky legs, as the decision to go back out there came over me. Just pretend like nothing is wrong. Nothing ever was.

I swallowed back fear, pain, and sickness, then opened the door. On the other side of the ornate washroom, was Austin. He was leaning against the wall directly in front, my small clutch purse in his hand. There was a grimace on his face as I advanced towards him.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, noting that the doors were closing into the auditorium.

"Waiting for you," he managed. "We're going home, Ally."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're sick! Some woman walked out of there asking if I was waiting for the bulimic girl. I -"

"I'm not bulimic," I interrupted.

"I'm not saying you are," Austin murmured, shaking his blonde locks. "You're just sick. I mean, by the way you got up and booked it out of the theatre, I knew something was wrong. That was the kind of immediacy you get when you need to puke."

"Eloquent," I muttered. My gaze turned to the floor. I didn't want to admit to him that I did feel sick. I didn't want to ruin - what could be - our perfect evening.

Austin handed me my bag and put an arm around my shoulder. "Ally, if you're sick and not going to enjoy yourself, then that's fine. You need to look after yourself rather than trying to have the perfect date."

I shook my head and looked into his eyes. "But, you planned all of this out and spent time and money on this. I can't ruin that for you."

"I think it'd be worse if you stayed and got sick during the show. What fun would that be?"

"Okay," I whispered.

He kissed me on the cheek, grabbed my hand again and led me out of the building. I felt flushed. I wasn't sure of it was from Austin, or this oncoming flu I apparently had. Austin opened the red door of his car for me and while I settled, he jokingly wiped his 'germy' hand on his dress pants. He laughed as I shook my head imperceptibly.

"I'm sorry if you get sick," I told him as he sat down in on the drivers seat.

Austin turned the key in the ignition and smirked. "Don't even worry about it. It's just a bug. Besides, I haven't been sick since I was 7, so I'm basically indestructible!"

I smiled, rest my head against the window and closed my eyes.

* * *

**AN: **I re-read my disclaimer up at the top and laughed. What I said wound up seeming like a pun and I totally did not intend that, so my apologizes. Drop me a review please! ;)


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: **Thank you all for the reviews and faves and follows. Which I know I say every week, but I really do love the appreciation! Thank you for continuing to read this and continuing on this journey with me:) So I'm kind of losing track of days now haha. I've been off for too long doing nothing. Totally not complaining, but I'm also going a little crazy! Gives me some time to write though! Also this Chapter is set up a little differently, it's mainly thoughts - but nonetheless, still has some important information. And I actually looked up everything that Ally Google's in this Chapter and my friend saw my history and was like... Do we need to talk? Haha!

Anyway, remember that one episode where Ally had glasses? I'm using that here because I kinda feel that means she wear contacts otherwise... But the glasses thing totally makes sense:P So, Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Austin &amp; Ally. This stuff is not allowed on Disney Channel haha!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 16: Ally's POV

My eyes snapped open as what sounded like millions of papers, fell to the ground. I blinked away the grogginess and adjusted to the darkness around me. What just fell? I propped myself up and leaned over the edge of the bed. Everything was still perfectly poised on my desk, all of my books were in line on the shelves, the sheet music was still laid out on top of my keyboard and my song book hadn't fallen off of my bedside table. So what made the noise?

I kneeled on my bed and turned around to face my headboard where the bay windows lie. The windows were closed, there was no wind, and my blinds hadn't been banging against the frame. I sighed, this forced me to get up and investigate otherwise I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I turned on the light on my nightstand and reached for my glasses. Both of these options gave me clearer sight in the search for what had fallen.

I panned the room until my eyes landed on my wall calendar. It was one of those Christmas presents that you kind of need, but then forget about it come February. I'm the worst at flipping the months. I remember loving this one! It was adorned in pictures of artists and sheet music from broadway classics and was so unique. My dad had gotten it for me on a trip to New York - stopping in at Juliard for anything interesting. While this had piqued my interest at first, it seemed I had stopped flipping by April. I glanced at the time - 3:46am. It was officially Sunday, which meant it was officially the first day of December. God, I've been lazy. I flipped passed the missed months, the sheet music that I could probably play on the piano and the artists who had composed and performed those songs. December was a collage of musical posters - Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Avenue Q, Rent, The Sound of Music, Chicago, Les Miserables, The Lion King, Book of Mormon, American Idiot, West Side Story - there were some truly amazing ones on that list. I smiled and tacked it back up on the wall.

Soon my house will be adorned in Christmas decorations. The trees, the lights, the garlands - it's all so perfect. It's my favourite time of the year and all I ever wish for is snow. It's a little unrealistic living in Miami, a white Christmas really would be gorgeous. Thoughts of the holidays danced through my mind as I placed my glasses back down on my bedside table. I situated myself back into a comfortable position in bed and pulled the string to turn off the light.

My mom loves Christmas. It's the one time she's not consumed by studying animals. She gets really into it and decks out every inch of the house in Christmas fashion. She has so many little traditions that start on the 1st and reach their peak by Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I remember this one year - when I was 13 - I had just gotten my period for the first time ever, and she embarrassingly worked that into one of the Christmas games. She was just so excited over both occasions. If you'd call getting your period an occasion...

I stared up at the dark overhanging light in my room, then propped myself up. I squinted towards my calendar, but when darkness and bad eyesight failed me, I grabbed my phone. It turned on quickly and brightly, causing me to blink uncontrollably. I shifted the page until I found the calendar app, then shifted again back to November. A blue dot appeared below the 14th. My heart sunk. I knew what that blue dot meant. I knew what Trish had programmed into my phone.

I knew that meant I was late.

Two weeks.

Oh my God, no. I sat up straight in bed and stared into the dark corner of my room. No, that can't be right. I mean, there has to be some explanation, right?

I swiftly shoved the covers off of my body, leaving a mess of sheets on my bed. I raced over to my desk - grabbing my glasses along the way - and gathered all my papers, rearranging them and throwing them to the floor, just so I could get to my laptop. The welcome screen was taking far too long to bring up. Oh my God, this is life or death here! Turn on already! Finally, the old beast sputtered to life and I entered my password. With baited breath, I typed my sentence into Google.

'What can cause a late period?'

I clicked on the first link, assuring me not to panic. It outlined 7 items that could possibly affect your period. Illness. Well, I haven't really been sick, unless you count now, but what if that's... Medication. I'm not on anything prescribed and I'm also not taking anything over the counter. The first two already aren't applying to me, this isn't going well. Weight Issues. I'm not overweight and I'm not underweight. Honestly, my weight has been pretty stationary since I was 14. Extreme Exercise. What do I have to exercise for? I'm not training for a marathon, or race, or swim meet, or anything of that sort. I don't do extreme exercise. Miscalculation. I'm regular; I have weirdly always been that way. Every single month, come the 13th or 14th, here is my 'gift'. I sniffed, why doesn't anything apply to me?

Stress. There it is. Number 6. Stress. Well, Lord knows I've been incredibly stressed out lately. But is that enough? Could I really be so stressed out that I'm making myself late? But what about everything else... A change in routine. Does sex count as a change in routine?

I typed my second search of the night -or early morning - into Google. 'Can losing your virginity delay your period?'

The results brought up hundreds of forum pages. It seemed as though teenage girls and their boyfriends, all had the same question after having sex for the first time. I clicked on various posts, skimming through the answers that people of experience and doctors alike had written. The number one factor seemed to be stress. You're stressing yourself into a late period! Okay, sure. I've definitely had my fair share of stress these past few weeks - not over what they're talking about on the forums, but stress nonetheless. But even during exams when I've dealt with some of the most stressful moments of my life, I wasn't late. I'm never late.

And apparently losing your virginity doesn't do squat to your cycle. If you're late and just happened to have lost your virginity earlier that month, it's a coincidence, you're stressed, or you're pregnant.

I ran my hands through my tangled, ponytailed hair and sighed. Just one more search...

My hands flew over the keyboard as I typed the words I dreaded. 'Pregnancy symptoms'

Thousands of answers were at my fingertips. The 15 signs of pregnancy! Early pregnancy symptoms! The 10 most common symptoms of pregnancy! I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This isn't how I should be spending my Sunday morning. I should be asleep. I shouldn't be worrying about this.

But I am and it's even more proof that I'm not the girl I thought I was. I bit my lip and opened my eyes, hands shaking as I clicked one of the links.

The 10 Most Common Signs of Pregnancy!

1\. Prickling, Tingling Nipples

I hadn't notice that per say. But I hadn't really been paying attention to my boobs. They're non-existent to say the least, although... Since Wednesday I've felt tingling but I thought that was just my new bra. Friday, I thought maybe it was just Austin since my whole body was tingling. Have I been covering for myself?

2\. Tender, Swollen Breasts

Well, that may have been why I got a new bra. My old one had holes in it but it had also been tight the past few weeks. I thought the wash had done it. And the fact that I got it when I was 14 made me think I needed a new one... So long old lucky! Hello up one cup size?

3\. Spotting and Cramping

That would be a no. I closed my eyes and thought back through the month that had passed since the event. I'd never spotted or gotten anything remotely like a period, but cramping... Maybe those cramps the first two days after we'd done it, were more than I thought.

4\. Nausea and Dizziness

I can attest to this. It's been a steady build for the past 3 weeks. All of it had been written off to stress, at first. I thought I was so stressed out I was making myself sick. But then came dizziness and nausea and actually throwing up. And that has definitely built up. It's not the standard 'morning sickness'. It doesn't stay in just the morning. Honestly, ever since Monday I've felt pretty awful all day. The flu doesn't do that. It doesn't stay and bother you for over a week. I put my hand on my head, propping it up. God I feel sick.

5\. Fatigue

Yes. I've been tired for days, weeks. That was all entirely stress to me. I was just run down and stressed and made myself sick, that was all right? I just wanted to stay in my bed because it was comfy and I was sick... I always wanted to sleep because I was sick and stressed... It's all unravelling isn't in?

I sighed and moved onto the next. My breath came out shaky and harsh. My hands were trembling. My eyes were holding tears that I was determined to not let spill over.

6\. Needing to pee frequently

I don't know. I don't know. I don't track how often I go to the bathroom. Was it more or less? Did I always have to pee? I don't know.

I could feel panic brewing in the pit of my stomach. Hysteria threatening to take me over as I continued down this list.

7\. Vivid Dreams

I never remember my dreams. I never have. I'll wake up and it's just gone. But I can remember now. Does that count as vivid? Or am I just trying to mould my answer to this? But what if it's the truth? What if I've been hiding things from myself and I'm just realizing it now?

I wiped at my eyes. I wasn't being pulled under by this. But the second that first tear fell, the floodgates opened. Silent rivulets flowed down my cheeks.

8\. Altered Sense of Taste: Aversions and Cravings

The tomatoes. It was an aversion, wasn't it? I couldn't eat them because I physically can't now. I sniffed, determined to make it through. Did it count that I really wanted salty things? Or did I just want salt because that was the only thing that didn't make me sick? Or did they go hand in hand?

9\. A Missed Period

Well, that's what brought me here. Shit. I've never been this late before. This is terrifying. I never thought I'd have to go through something like this. How could we be stupid? That question had been in mind for weeks, but at least now it more of a frame. I'm late. I'm so late.

The first sob bubbled over in my chest and I slammed my hand down on my desk. God this explained how emotional I've been. I'd complained about my emotions throwing me for a loop for this whole month, this is it. There has never been a time in my life where I'd cried this much. I glanced back up at the computer screen and focused my eyes through the blurred vision of tears.

10\. The Proof: A Positive Home Pregnancy Test

My stomach seized. I'd have to take a test. Nausea overtook me and I shot out of the chair, yanked my bedroom door open, and ran to the bathroom across the hall. I swiftly closed the door behind me and turned on the light and fan. I hunched over and emptied the little food that I had consumed on Saturday into the toilet bowl. The moment it was over, I flushed.

It was then that I placed my glasses on the ground and sobs took over my body. My shoulders shook with the force. This can't be happening to me. I cried with my back against the cool porcelain of the bathtub, knees to my chest, head in my hands. What did I do to deserve this? Why am I suddenly this girl? I rested my head against the plaid fabric of my pyjama pants, defeat sinking in.

I cried until my chest hurt and my eyes were dry. I steadied my breathing and stared at the baby blue wall in front of me. Great colour for a bathroom, looked more like a nursery... I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing myself not to cry again, put the glasses back on, then stood on unsteady legs. Glancing down at the toilet almost made me want to throw up again. I turned away and stretched out the kinks in my body, then glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Surrounded in the blue glow of the room, was me. Awful. I'd never seen myself look this bad. I looked down at the ground, stray, strands of hair falling into my face.

My legs propelled me back into my room, and I slowly closed the door. Averting my eyes of the words, I exed out the window on my laptop, then turned it off.

"Ally?" my mom whispered as she opened the door. "What are you doing up?"

I cleared my throat, not fully trusting myself to speak. "I had to go to the bathroom and I noticed my laptop was on, so I'm just turning it off."

"Okay, are you alright?" worry crept into her voice. Ever since I returned home early from the date with Austin on Friday, she'd been really concerned about my well being. Within reason, I'm pretty concerned myself.

"I'm fine," I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," I scoffed, still facing the back wall of my room. There was no way I would let her see my face right now.

* * *

**AN:** Hope you liked that! I've been more than a little excited to post this one and the ones after this for that matter. I love how a majority of you guys have picked up on my hints! I've been dropping them at least since Chapter 11! Anyway, on to the next portion of the story! Drop me a review:)


	17. Chapter 17

**AN:** I cannot tell you how much I really want to do an iPod shuffle challenge for Austin and Ally! I know, I get sidetracked waayyy too easily! But it's just this really strong desire that I have! I could show all you readers my awful taste in music haha! Alas, I still need to finish this story, along with the other 20(yes 20) one-shots, and other fics for this fandom that I somewhat have planned...

Anyway I've been writing like crazy this week, in an attempt to get the most done of this story I possibly can. Unfortunately, I don't really have enough just yet to post more than just on Saturday! Which is what I'm trying to change. With any luck I'll soon be posting bi-weekly!

Now I'd like to take a moment to thank you all for the love from last chapter. That's the most views, reviews, follows, and favourites I've EVER gotten on a single one! So thank you guys for continuing to read and review! I really, really love it:) Here is Chapter 17, the story continues. Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Well, you know the drill!

Parties and Mistakes

Chapter 17: Ally's POV

That Sunday was not a good day for me. I spent the whole day confined in my room, telling everyone that I was just catching up on homework or writing songs - something of that sort. In reality all I was doing was more of the same. Looking at the same searches I had when I'd woken up way too early that morning; clawing at some desperate way out of this fate. Instead of being sidetracked and putting up the first of many Christmas trees, I stayed and tortured myself.

There was nothing else I could do though. There was no other exit away from this other than taking that test and I am so not ready for that.

But it's a lot easier to hide something when you're holed away in your room. It gets harder when you have to face your friends. All of Sunday I dreaded the return of Monday - and not for the usual reasons. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide this from them. They'd see right through me.

Still, I swallowed my pride and set out to at least try to be brave. Which is a lot easier said than done, especially when you wake up feeling as though you can't move because of how bad the nausea is.

"I can't hide this..." I whispered, sitting on the edge of my bed. I wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. Fall back onto my pillow and close my eyes to a dream that must be better than my current reality.

"Ally," my mom opened my door and smiled in at me. "Oh good, you're up! I wanted to make sure that we weren't going to have a repeat of last Monday. That was a bit of a rush call there, hun."

"Yeah, I'm just getting ready now," I said, hesitantly pushing myself off the bed.

"Are you still sick?" she asked and advanced towards me. "Should we be taking you to the doctor to see what's up?"

I shook my head and assured her that everything was just peachy. I wasn't sick yesterday, so why should I be today? It was just the flu, right? It takes a lot of effort to pretend like everything is perfect. When your mind is going 100 miles an hour, it's hard to pretend like you just woke up.

But I moved my body with immense effort, into the washroom. As much as I knew I couldn't hide this - that I physically and mentally would not be able to hide this - I had to. At least for now. I wasn't sure what to do and I wasn't even sure if this was 'for sure'. It's such a paradox! I'm hiding something that I literally cannot hide. But there's no other choice. What the hell else am I supposed to do?

I stepped into the shower stall and turned on the hot water. The stream of warmth helped me to wash away my thoughts. It soothed the ache in my mind and body. But it didn't last for long, the second I got out of the shower and saw the reflection of my naked body in the mirror, the thoughts assaulted me again.

What's better, knowing or not knowing?

After drying off, I shoved on a pair of muted blue jeans with a chartreuse slouchy sweater. I dried my hair with a blow dryer then carefully laid it up into a high ponytail. I sighed and brushed my teeth meticulously. I knew I wouldn't be having breakfast this morning, it wouldn't stay down. I'd focus on the minty taste, maybe that would make the nausea relent.

My phone chimed on the side of the counter. It was currently being charged that last little bit, and as I soon realized, Trish had texted.

'I haven't heard from u all weekend! How was the date?'

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 'Been busy. Talk to you at school! :)'

The smiley face was definitely necessary. Yet another one of my efforts to hide the unhide-able.

I sighed and loped off to my room. I plopped down on my vanity dresser chair, fishing some mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss out of my makeup bag. The basics were good enough for me. I leaned in close to the mirror so that I could see exactly what I was doing. It was not a day to put in contacts; I didn't need to exert that extra effort. Instead I'd just wear my glasses and do my eyes with extreme care. I must admit, I'm pretty good at just doing it close to the mirror by feel now - especially on days when I'm beyond tired.

Bing! I looked down at my phone, squinting slightly. Trish had texted yet again, 'I'm in ur driveway'

Great. Now I didn't have the time in getting to school to gain my composure. I had to walk out of my room, completely perfect.

I let out a huge stream of air and smoothed some gloss onto my lips. Standing, I pushed my glasses onto my face and rushed around to find my messenger bag. It was in the corner, next to my desk. My textbooks and stray notes were piled next to it and I shoved them quickly into the front pocket.

I grabbed the bag, stood up slowly, then made my way down the stairs. Gingerly, I bent down and searched through the coat closet to find a pair of shoes. I settled on some brassy coloured riding boots, stepped into them, and returned to standing slowly again. Movement really was not my friend. Fast movements were even less so.

"Ally, did you get something to eat?" my mom called from the kitchen.

"I will at school!" I mumbled, side stepping around a box that held Christmas decorations. Before my mom could protest, I was out the door - breathing in the fresh air.

The cool wintery (or as close to winter as we get) breeze brushed against my face, subsiding some of my nausea.

"Hey!" Trish yelled. "Don't just stand there like an idiot, we gotta get a move on!"

"We have almost an hour to get there. Chill!" I said, rolling my eyes.

She laughed. "Well someone's cranky today!" I shook my head, sure, cranky. That's what it is. We began to walk and it took a few paces before she began to speak again. "Whatever, where the hell where you this weekend? You weren't at the Sonic Boom, you wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I almost came to your house to see if you were alive! Of course I figured 'maybe this is some high off of the Austin date' or 'maybe this is because it's finally December and your mom is crazy'! So I called your house and your mom told me you were in your room!" She looked at me with wild eyes. "I mean, what kind of excuse is that? Did you fuck Austin again and got in trouble or something? Is that why you were in your room? Like were you grounded? Did Austin's parents find out about this? Because I saw him yesterday and he wouldn't tell me about the date! Granted I only saw him in passing, but still..."

"Slow down, Trish," I mumbled. She cocked her head to the side, wondering if I meant conversationally or her walking pace. "I was just in my room, writing. Ya know?"

"Like, Taylor Swift writing?"

"No. Just songs. No break up songs."

"Okay, good that means you guys didn't break up!" she smiled, then quickly quirked her mouth into a frown. "Are you in trouble?"

I debated on my answer to her. Should I come clean or not? I mean, physically I'm not in trouble with anyone, but if my hunch is correct there's some serious trouble down the road. "Uhhh, no."

"You don't sound too sure," Trish said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I'm not in trouble with my parents. We didn't do anything that could get us in trouble..." I said, my gaze turning to the ground. "At least, not on Friday."

She grinned, having not heard the final part that I mumbled. "So then why haven't you been answering me? Like, did the date go that badly? Is your relationship just not to be talked about?"

"No, nothing like that," I rolled my eyes. "I just got sick and went home early." I said it casually, as if that was the only thing that was really going on.

"Aw no! That actually sucks so bad! Are you okay? Are you still sick? Is that why you're acting like you're hung over?"

"I am not acting like I'm hung over!" I said, taken aback.

"Sure, sure."

We walked along the path to school and Trish continued to pester me. It wasn't just my mom or myself that thought there was something wrong. Trish was alluding to the fact that I'd been sick for weeks! What if I had some disease? I was more than a little bit certain of which 'disease' it might be, but I was in no way about to tell her... Not yet anyway.

"So, did you guys schedule a makeup date?" Trish asked.

"Uh, no." I shook my head and glanced down at my phone. Although Austin had been sweet, driven me home, kissed me on the doorstep, and made me feel special - he hadn't texted me all weekend. Let alone had I see him. That was probably my fault though; I don't take well to being sick. "I'm sure it'll happen eventually."

Trish nodded and made her way up the concrete front steps of the school. Hopefully I could avoid her questions in Biology. We climbed the first set of stairs just before the lobby in order to get to our lockers. There was a good twenty minutes before school started and students were just beginning to arrive.

I sighed and fidgeted with my lock. It had been getting more and more stubborn as the weeks passed by. If only everything were as easy as the first day of school...

I managed to open my locker on the fourth attempt. Trish had offered to keep my stuff in hers, which happened to come right when I unlocked mine. As I was rummaging around - putting afternoon textbooks on the top shelf and morning notes in my bag - I felt the presence of someone behind the open door.

I peered around, a smiled plastered onto my face. "Well hello there," I said.

"Hello," Austin said, mirroring my grin. He put his hand lightly on my hip, my skin tingled. I had an aired worry of him touching my stomach, even though there was nothing protruding. He saw the hesitation in my eyes and his features changed from blissful to confused. I closed the distance between us and quickly pressed my lips to his before I'd have to explain anything.

I pulled back and slammed my locker shut, noting Trish's admiring glance on the way. "So," I mumbled. "What brings you to my locker instead of yours?"

"I came to see if you were okay," he said, drifting his hand to mine. "And I just wanted to see you. But mostly I wanted to know if you were alright. Are you still sick?"

"No, I'm fine."

"I dunno man," Trish spoke. "You seem off today. Like kind of wobbly or something."

"Wobbly?"

"Yeah," Trish nodded. "Like is it the shoes or are you sick? I think you're sick. You're all pale again."

"I'm always pale," I said, blinking rapidly to try and gain my balance.

Austin cocked his head to the side. "Are you okay?"

Abruptly, I grabbed his arm for support, furthering their believe that something was wrong with me. Shock crossed both of their features and I swallowed. "I'm fine."

The bell rang and I let go of Austin, hoping for an end to this conversation. I began walking to class. A pounding was building in my head and bile built up in my throat. Let it pass. Breathe.

"Ally," Austin said, catching up to me. "Do I have to tell you to go home again?"

I swallowed and took in a deep stream of air. "No, I'm fine. Really, Austin. See!" It took all my strength not to throw up as I twirled in a circle. I flashed him a smile as my world spun dizzily around me. He seemed satisfied by this action, no sane sick person would have done that.

Trish caught up to us as Austin squeezed my shoulder and gently kissed me goodbye. She pursed her lips, but said nothing. It wasn't until we settled in our seats in the Biology classroom, that she finally spoke.

"So, are you sure you're alright?"

My world was still shaking from that little spinning stunt and I was breathing deeply to fight back the overbearing nausea, but I still nodded. "I'm fine."

It came out more meek sounding than I had intended, though she didn't press any further. The announcements came and went, class was underway.

"Alright guys," Miss. Daily started. "So as you know, you have a test on Thursday. As you also know by now, or at least I hope you all know, I give you a review period two days before the test. We're moving on to the next unit tomorrow and Wednesday, so today is a day to clarify anything you don't get about Human Growth and Genetics! I'll be up at the front if you have any questions, but the time is yours. Please be respectful to the other students."

I sighed. Great. A whole period where I can stare at notes devoted to how a baby goes from a zygote to a fetus to a full blown human, and all the genes associated with that. Did I need any more reminder of my apparent future? No. But was I getting it? Of course...

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

By lunch, the feeling of unease was still creeping along in my system. I had a borderline migraine headache, coupled with a churning unhappy stomach, and dizziness whenever I drew my gaze up from the ground. It didn't help that my mind was still racing with questions.

I made my way downstairs from my locker to the cafeteria. The line to get food spanned from where the food actually was, to the entrance. It was a bad day to have forgotten your lunch. I shook my head and made my way over to our usual table. Plunking my bag down on the ground, I sighed as a sunk into a chair.

"God, you look horrible!" Dez supplied joyfully as he settled down. The smell of spaghetti wafted around us. That must have been the meal of the day.

I put my head in my hands and laughed. "Gee, thanks."

"It's only the truth," Dez said, slurping the noodles. The sound made me feel even worse. "Austin's been talking about you being sick, you look it."

"Just what a girl wants to hear." I mumbled.

"Yeah, but he also told me you guys made out in his car so it's not a total loss."

I felt a hand on my upper back and heard the squeak of chairs as Austin and Trish sat down. Austin smiled at me as I felt the world swirl even more. I thought maybe it was his effect on me, or the fact that I'd finally looked up - but I soon learned it was the air that bothered me. Dez, Trish, and Austin had all sat down with today's special for lunch. The smell of tomato sauce assaulted my senses. I felt everything that I was trying to suppress, explode. Tomatoes. What the hell is wrong with tomatoes?

"Al," Austin spoke, his hand absently rubbing circles on my back. "Are you feeling alright?"

I swallowed and saw Trish warily gaze at me. I nodded, rubbing my nose, trying to rid myself of the smell. "Should you maybe go home?" Trish asked.

Abruptly, I stood up, grabbing my bag along the way. They could take this leave any way they wanted. All I knew, was I needed out and I was going to hurl. I sped through the crowded brick hallway to the bathroom in the main lobby. There were a few girls mulling around, doing their makeup while gossiping. No one batted an eye when I burst past the dark blue door. No one heard as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. All that remained in the bowl was regurgitated water that I had been drinking all day to ward off the nausea. I laughed. Well, that worked, didn't it?

"Ally?" Trish called. I could hear the worry in her voice. "Are you in here?"

I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry. "Yeah."

Trish walked along the stalls until I saw her Keds clad feet in front of mine. She knocked gently. I flushed the toilet and opened the door, stepping into the now empty washroom. I washed my hands in the sink, watching Trish's reflection in the mirror. She looked at me with questioning eyes. I clutched the grey marble of the bank of sinks, staring at my knuckles. When I glanced back up, Trish was right beside me.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Take me home."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

Trish sprang into action at my simple request, bursting into the cafeteria and asking for Austin's car. He begrudgingly handed over the keys and we headed home in his rusty silver Mazda. There wasn't a word spoken between us. I knew Trish was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't want to say it where anyone could hear, and I frankly didn't know how to say it.

The cars were gone when we finally arrived at my house. That meant both of my parents were at work. Thank God. Trish peeled off her jean jacket and shoes when we got into the house, all the while staring at me expectantly. I didn't even bother to kick off my boots or put my bag down as we climbed the stairs. I led her into my room and we both sat down cross legged on my bed.

She stared at me.

I stared at her.

She smiled encouragingly at me.

I grimaced at her.

"Is this going to be like last time?" she huffed. "Am I going to have to pull this out of you? Like what's going on?"

"I-" My gaze turned downward. How was I supposed to come out with this.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Trish asked, changing the subject. I shook my head slightly. "Okay, well maybe you should get something to eat."

"I'm late."

"Well, then you definitely need something to eat." she said, hopping off the bed. I looked up at her, fear clouding my eyes. She bit her lip, indecision crossing her features. "So are we talking the white rabbit late or..."

"It's the or," I choked out.

"How late?"

"Almost two and a half weeks."

She sucked in a long breath and I let the tears fall. I threw my glasses onto the bed sheet so I could wipe at my eyes. I was about to become one big mascara mess. Trish stood at the foot of my bed, her eyes wide and calculating. She absently twirled a flyaway curl.

"You guys didn't use protection then."

"Obviously not," I scoffed bitterly. My chin quivered as I tried to hold back the full blown sobs.

"Okay," she whispered and hurried to the door.

I snapped my head towards the door, blurred vision focusing on her. "Where are you going?"

"To get you a test," she said exasperatedly. "You told me you're late, you need to take the test."

I silently pleaded with her to just let me stay in unknowing misery, but knew I was resigned to this fate. Sooner or later, I'd have to take the test. She loped out of my room. I heard her clamoring footsteps down the stairs and slam of the door, followed by the hesitant start of Austin's car. My house grew silent and I cried in the quiet din. I laid back on my bed, curling into the fetal position, allowing myself to let go. Tears and mascara stained my white and purple chevron pillow. The only sound in the empty house were my occasional sad moans.

God I'm pathetic. But I made no attempt to run from this. This whole situation from start to finish, is the one time in my life where I've allowed myself to be completely emotional. I can succumb to mental breakdowns and emotional turmoil. I can be this pathetic crying girl, because there's no other option. In this situation, I can't be anyone else.

So I laid there, listening to the serene sounds of birds chirping outside or cars chugging down the lane. I laid there, staring at the wall of posters - one of which was the first string of Austin merchandise. I laid there, crying into my pillow cases. I laid there, smelling remains of tomato sauce and feeling nothing but nausea. I just laid there.

Eventually, I felt something land on my bed. When I looked up, Trish was back, there was pity in her eyes, coupled with anger and worry.

She shot me a wry smile. "Water bottle, bag of chips, and... You know what." She bounded over to my bed and sat down on the edge, rubbing her hands along her black jeans. I could her hear breathing, her hesitation. She was as terrified as I was.

I moved myself into a seating position and pushed hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. Trish handed me my glasses, which I put on.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "For everything."

She nodded and laughed. "You look awful."

"Thanks," I repeated, snickering. I plucked the test out of the bag with shaking hands. There were 3 in the box she had chosen and a list of instructions on the back. I quickly scanned my teary eyes over them, silently digesting all of it. "Okay. So, it says for best results use morning urination. Does that mean it won't work otherwise?"

Trish snatched the box from me. "Uh, no. I think it'll work. It's just whatever they're measuring would be the most in the morning."

"Is that why I feel the worse then?" I groaned. She handed me back the box and I peeled it open. I glanced inside at the 3 sticks, studying them. "I can't."

"You can't what? Can't take them?" Trish asked. I'd never seen her look as serious as she did in this moment. "Ally, this is something that you absolutely have to do. I get that you're scared and that this is totally something you weren't planning to do but, I don't know what'll happen if you don't take them. Quite frankly I don't know what'll happen when you do. All I know is that you need your result to at least have some sort of peace of mind. Whether its positive or not, you need to know."

"Does it have to be right now, though?"

She nodded. "You're torturing yourself. You need to figure out your next move. I mean, you're either pregnant or dying from some random disease."

"Is it bad I hope it's the random disease?"

"Not at all! It's probably easier..."

Silence came over the room and I played with the box again. Trish passed me the water bottle and I took little sips, wanting nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.

It took a good half hour of staring at each other, and the walls, and the test, before I finally gained my nerve. I got up off my bed and headed for the same blue bathroom where I'd had my meltdown early Sunday morning. I locked the door and quickly did the pee stick business. My heart was beating at the speed of light as I carefully laid the 3 tests out on the smooth ivory countertop. Three minutes seal my fate. Three minutes, counting down on my phones timer.

I slid down the wall and rested against the cool porcelain tub. Oh God. When did I become this girl? I cried into my knees again, already knowing the result that was going to pop up. Somewhere my body registered the loud beeping of my phones timer, but I made no effort to turn it off or even move.

"Al?" Trish knocked on the door. "Did I hear the timer?" She jiggled the knob, attempting the open the door. I shifted along the floor and unlocked it.

I shook my head from left to right. "I can't look at them. I already know what they're going to say, but I can't have that spelled out for me."

She threw a bag of chips into my lap and sat down next to me. "Eat something, maybe you'll stop being such a mess."

I opened the bag and shoveled a few salty chips into my mouth. "I'm allowed to be a mess," I mumbled, leaning my head on her shoulder.

"I know," she whispered. She fiddled with her thumbs, trying to hide her nervousness. "I'm so sorry, Al."

"Don't be."

"I wish there was something I could do."

I looked up at the counter where my fate was lying. "You could look at the tests."

Her eyes widened as she took in my request, but she eventually nodded. I removed my head from her shoulder and she began to get up. Hesitantly she walked over to the bathroom counter. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a moment before her gaze turned downward.

I saw it on her face before she said it.

"Al," Trish said quietly. "They're all positive."

Shit.

* * *

**AN:** So I hope you all enjoyed that! And now it's out there, it's true! This chapter kind of got away from me and turned out longer than I expected, but oh well! The longer the better:) By the way, did anyone have teachers like that? I always found it so annoying when teachers gave the review period then moved to the next unit before the test... I digress haha! Anyway, drop me a review! You know how much I love those:)


	18. Chapter 18

**AN:** First off, something I mentioned last week was the whole bi-weekly posting thing. A few people mentioned it in reviews so if there was any confusion there, I'm sorry. But bi-weekly has two meanings; either every two weeks or twice weekly. I meant the latter. Unfortunately, I still can't announce my bi-weekly(twice a week) posting! For sure sometime this summer I will be able to do so though.

Also I just want to explain how I understand High School so that no ones confused by the periods. When I went to school there were 5 periods spilt into about 75 minutes. So that means 4 courses and a lunch period. There's two semesters and the courses in first change over in February after exams! Hope that made sense, that's just how I write school in stories because it's all I know. (and it just kind of seems easier to me than the like 7 or 8 period schools idk.)

Anyway, I keep getting more and more reviews each Chapter, which I love! So keep it up and I hope you like this next one! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 18: Ally's POV

"So, I'm assuming you took Austin's car back," I said, when Trish joined me in Biology the next morning.

She blinked profusely at me for a few beats of a minute before answering. "Uh, yeah. Drove it to his house and then he took me home," she placed her textbook on the desk, continuing to look at me with eyebrows raised. "But that's what you want to talk about?"

"Yes," I answered through clenched teeth. "Why did you have something else in mind?"

"Guess not," she mumbled, flipping the pages in her binder.

I sighed. I couldn't talk about this at school. Honestly, I had trouble even talking about this at all. Sometimes, knowledge is not power. This made me feel powerless. Talking about this made me feel small. Talking about this where someone could possibly hear, made me incredibly nervous.

"It's just..." Trish started. "I don't know, Ally. I figured you'd like, want to talk about this or something."

"Not here."

Trish groaned, scowling at me. I hadn't talked to her much at home either, that's probably why she was so pissed off. I had placed my burden onto her and I wasn't doing anything about it. Instead of talking, I cried. And while Trish was being incredibly supportive, I couldn't bring myself to have some solution yet. She left when I cried myself to sleep and I woke up around dinner time, pretending nothing was wrong. I'd eaten everything in sight on the table because I was starving, but had neglected to look at my phone or even let Trish know anything.

She didn't talk to me after I told her no, just opened her textbook, grabbed a pen, and started scrawling words on the paper. I watched her warily as the announcements began. She shot me a smile and I held on to the desk to keep my balance. Everyone sat down and I snatched my water bottle out of my bag. I'd read a secret to keeping morning sickness to a minimum, was being constantly hydrated. So far, it was working out well for me, but I had already gotten sick right when I woke up.

I straightened up and placed the water on my desk. It was then that I realized what Trish had been writing in her notebook. There was a paper just under my nose and I stared at it. Great, class had just begun and she was already passing notes. Miss. Daily was starting the lecture but all I could do was stare the words Trish has written.

'So what are you going to do?'

I stared impassively at the words. What was she thinking? She already knew I didn't want to talk about this but, she was making that downright impossible. Shaking my head, I began writing my response.

'I don't know.'

I passed it back and saw Trish roll her eyes. What did she expect? We were in the middle of class. Not that I really even wanted to talk about this if we were alone. I'll admit I'm totally and completely a coward, but there's not much else I can do.

'What are you going to tell Austin?'

Ugh, I don't know. I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I scowled at the paper. What was I supposed to say to her? She knew that I didn't want to talk about this, but she's forcing me to do so. Honestly, it's not very fair. This should be something that I can deal with at my own pace, not at Trish's discretion. Sighing, I wrote the exact same response.

'I don't know.'

I turned my gaze to the front, trying to be the good student again. I'd take notes, I'd listen to the lecture and that'd be that. Eventually Trish would get the point that I really didn't have anything to say. These weren't questions that I wanted to deal with, let alone in the middle class.

'What are you going to tell your parents?' appeared in my line of sight.

I closed my eyes and let out all the air I was holding. Come on, Trish! My eyes snapped open and I stared at the dark blue ink. What else can I say? It's all the same anyway, it's not like I have a plan all set out.

'I don't know.'

Panic set deep in my stomach. I didn't have a plan. No plan. No plan, no plan, no plan. The girl with all the ideas, has none. I attempted to steady myself and looked towards the front of the class. Miss. Daily was drawing out a diagram on the blackboard, pointing to different plots. I ran my hand through my hair, pulling it back like it was about to go into a ponytail, then letting it go. I yawned anxiously and tried to focus. My gaze strayed away from the lesson though, and down onto my desk. The paper was back, a new message sprawled just under the last.

'Are you even going to keep it?'

That was another question I couldn't answer. What was I going to do? Could I face this? Was I strong enough to go through a pregnancy? Was I strong enough to give one up? There was too little thought that I had put into this. One step at a time, I always told myself. But there's about a thousand steps coming at me all at once right now. My body felt hot, my eyes aches, and my nose began to feel peppery. Oh shit. You're not going to cry, Ally Dawson.

I took a deep breath and wrote my response, 'Do you want me to cry and be sick right here?'

I passed it back to Trish unintentionally flourishingly. Closing my eyes, I tried to take control of my breathing.

"Ally! Trish!" I jumped as Miss. Daily called out our names. "Are you two passing notes?"

"What!" Trish feigned surprise and hid the paper under her notebook. "No! Ally just wrote something down for me that I didn't understand."

Miss. Daily pursed her lips. It was a fairly good excuse, I did tend to clarify questions for Trish. Eventually Miss. Daily nodded and turned her attention back to the lesson. Attention that was strayed away yet again when I shot up my hand.

"Can I go to the washroom?" I asked when she called on me. She allowed me the courtesy to leave and I silently walked out of the room. It wasn't until I got into the hall that I booked it to the toilets. I was going to be sick.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Okay, Dodgy!" Trish said, appearing at our lockers when the lunch bell rang. "Time to talk!"

"Am I the 8th dwarf now suddenly?" I asked her, rolling my eyes.

She opened her locker and pulled out a few textbooks, while returning the Biology one. "If you want to be," she said flippantly. "But, seriously you need to start talking!"

"I did talk! You wouldn't be asking me to talk if I didn't talk in the first place!"

Trish slammed her locker and gave me a look of disbelief. "Seriously?" she raised her eyebrows. "You said two words and then proceeded to cry for the next 3 hours!"

"Well excuse me for having my life fall apart," I muttered.

"The point is, you need to have some sort of action plan!"

I sighed and gingerly closed the door, locking it with the same care. My gaze turned downward. She was right I needed some kind of plan. But school wasn't the place to be talking about this.

"Okay," I said beginning to walk down the hallway. "Fine. You're right, I know. But not here, Trish. You saw what thinking about all of this did to me this morning. I got way too overwhelmed and... Well I'm sure you can guess what happened in that washroom."

She nodded as we descended the stairs. "So you're saying after school we can talk?"

I swallowed. "Yeah."

"Great!" she smiled. "So now that we have that all cleared up, I can be so much less serious! You've been all weird the past few days that I haven't been able to all about me and James!"

"You and who?" I questioned as we walked into the cafeteria. I was all too glad to note that there were no tomatoes in sight. I picked up a package of curly fries and chicken fingers, while Trish grabbed a wrap.

"James," she repeated. "Just some guy that I've been trying to get."

"Is this the same guy from Kira's party?"

"Yeah!" she said enthusiastically nodding. She handed some money to the lunch lady and I did the same.

We made our way towards our usual table and I sat down in resignation. Lord, was I tired. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend or something?"

She shook her head and unwrapped the plastic concealing her food. "No, he just liked someone or something. I don't know he just left with some other girl."

"Ah," I mumbled and bit into a piece of chicken.

She raised her eyebrows. "You're not up for this are you?"

I opened my mouth to answer when Austin and Dez appeared. They slammed their trays down in what appeared to be a playful argument. I shook my head in response to Trish and looked at the guys to try and gain some normalcy.

"How could you even say that! Zaliens 3 was totally better than Zaliens!" Dez shouted.

"Look, you know I'm generally just not a fan of Zaliens but even you can admit that sequels are always worse!" Austin countered.

Dez pouted and snuck a curly fry off of my tray. "You know," Trish started. "Since you're not a fan you can't appreciate the beauty that was Zaliens 3! I don't like to admit how hardcore into this I am, but all Zalieites are in consensus that the third movie was by far the best."

I laughed and took a sip of my water bottle. They always had a way of pulling you out of your darkest hour. God I loved that.

"Ally!" Dez yelled. "What do you think? And just because you're dating Austin doesn't mean you can't be on my side."

"I've never seen it," I said to surprised stares of Trish and Dez.

"Well screw talking!" Trish said, slamming a fist down on the table in jovial fanfare. "We're watching Zaliens after school instead!"

Austin cocked his head to the side, smile fading as he put the sandwich he was chewing back down on the table. "What do you have to talk about?"

I froze. I'm not good under pressure and today was certainly not the day where I was going to start. Trish saw my hesitation and met Austin's question with a shrug.

Austin's features still resembled that of a lost puppy. He knew. "Are you guys hiding something again?"

"When have we ever hid anything?" Trish scoffed.

"Everything with this whole Kira situation was pretty hidden," he replied, lowering his voice.

"You both knew what was happening," Trish rolled her eyes. "You were just dodging each other and had the unfortunate addition of Kira and her skanks. It made it hard to talk. But here you are!"

"Here we are," I mumbled.

Dez yanked another curly fry from my tray then wiped his hands on his jeans. "Is it comments like that, that make you wonder? Doesn't she seem so happy to be with you!"

"Shut up," I directed towards him, edging my fries closer to myself. Austin's hand came down on top of mine and I was forced to look into his eyes. I swallowed as he seemingly searched me. I hoped to all hope that there was no sign of nervousness on my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Is this something you're going to ask me daily?"

"Only until I'm satisfied that you actually are okay."

"I'm fine," I nodded and turned back to my food. Sure I had gone home sick yesterday, but that didn't mean I was today. Even though I was... But he didn't have to know that I felt like I could just fall asleep right here and now. At least I didn't feel nauseous. The whole water trick had worked for me after the little incident that left me running from Biology.

Austin seemed satisfied - or at least he wasn't going to pester - and turned back to the Zaliens discussion. I saw Trish exude effort to turn the conversation away from myself on multiple occasions. Who knew I had to go through complete crisis mode for her to be the super best friend? Not that I was complaining, but I totally owed her.

Lunch soon ended and Dez parted ways with the three of us as we headed to English. We sat down as Mr. Fairfield began his lesson on Pearl, Hester Prynne's bastard child. I had to bite back a mirthful laugh. Of course.

'This book has just been so ironic from the start!'

Trish passed yet another note and I rolled my eyes.

'Can we not pass notes?'

She shook her head and snickered. It wasn't long before she was scrawling another response.

'Nervous?'

I scrunched up the paper and shoved it into the depths of my bag. Desperate hope filled my body, a longing of wanting to go home. A longing to be away from this whole situation.

I stared at the back of Austin's head, something I tend to do a lot in English class. His hair was lightly tousled, blonde locks swept carelessly to the side. His broad shoulders were concealed under a dark blue pullover sweater. He turned his head to the back of the room and flashed me a small smile. Obviously, he'd noticed me staring. I met his smile then turned my gaze down to the desk. Would he still look at me that way once he knew?

"Ally!" Mr. Fairfield called. It always happened to be this class when I was called on and evidently spaced out. "What's your interpretation of this quote?"

I squinted at the board where he had pointed. 'The great scene of grief, in which the wild infant bore a part had developed all her sympathies; and as her tears fell upon her father's cheek, they were the pledge that she would grow up amid human joy and sorrow, nor forever do battle with the world, but be a woman in it.' (Hawthorne, 209)

"Isn't this Pearl redeeming both her mother and Dimmsdale? As it says, this is basically Pearl being allowed to live her life and not be viewed at as some bastard child offshoot from an affair."

"So ironic," Trish whispered so that only I could hear. I slapped her arm and glared in response as Mr. Fairfield nodded in agreement at my suggestion. He moved on with the lecture and I realized that's exactly what was happening now.

I spent the last two periods of the day thinking exactly that. If I chose to go through with this, that's all my child would be viewed as. A bastard from an affair. This whole time we'd been studying The Scarlet Letter I'd identified with Hester. Some people had gone out of their way to let me know that I was an adulterer. Which in essence, was true. I'd helped Austin cheat on his girlfriend. I'd become the other woman.

And now, here I was in some pregnancy mess.

It took all I had to stay whole that day. It took everything to keep myself from running to the bathroom and crying. But something deep within me, wanted to prove that I could weather some storm. Maybe if I could stay strong this whole day, I could go through with this. Maybe I was strong enough to have a bastard child. Maybe I was strong enough to endure all of those stares and all that gossip.

Or maybe I wasn't.

By the end of the day I was ready to break. Something told me that it didn't make me strong for wanting to cry over this. I wanted to avoid Trish. I wanted to just go home and cry and lie down and just die. I wanted to wallow in self pity like I had been since early Sunday morning. But, as luck would have it, Trish found me. I was swiftly making my way out the front doors when she called out for me.

"Allison Christina Dawson, you better not be running away from me!" she yelled once we were outside. A few heads turned towards us as I came to a halt.

I pivoted on my heel and watched her storm over to me. I allowed her to see the unabashed fear in my eyes. "I'm not."

It was all too lucky that Trish had her car. We speedily drove over to the Sonic Boom, where I apparently had a shift. My dad was busily placing song books on shelves when Trish and I walked in. I told him I would start in about half an hour, knowing full well that Trish wanted longer than that to talk. Maybe I could get away with avoiding the ever depressing subject.

I closed the door to the song room and saw Trish making herself comfortable on one of the bean bag chairs. I sat next to her, claiming the bright orange one. I kicked off my black flats and moved carefully into a cross legged position in my navy and white maxi dress. Trish was already relaxed with her head resting back on the chair. Curls were splayed around her head like a mane as she tinkered with her phone. I sighed and closed my eyes. Screw work, maybe I could just sleep now.

"Here!" Trish chimed and threw her phone into my lap.

"What?" I looked down to find a number plastered across the screen. A number that she'd already dialed. "Trish, what is this?"

"Just answer it," she responded.

I put her phone up to my ear and heard it ringing. The tone of the beeps made me more and more nervous on each occasion. Who had she even called?

"Hello," came a cheery woman's voice on the other end. "Dr. Moyer's Obstetrician/Gynecologist clinic, Elena speaking. Is there anything I can help you with today?"

I blinked. Oh God, oh God, oh God. I can't do this. I promptly hung up Trish's phone and threw it to the centre of the room.

"Hey!" Trish exclaimed snatching the phone off the ground. "You could've broken my baby!" She hugged the phone to her chest for a moment before laughing. "Sorry, wrong choice of words, right?"

I shook my head and sniffed, wiping at the corners of my eyes. "Some warning would've been nice."

"Alright," she rolled her eyes and passed me the phone. "They're calling back. Fair warning!"

My eyes went wide and I stared at the incoming call screen of her phone. I couldn't answer the phone in general, what made her think I could pick up? Tears silently streamed down my face and the screen turned to black. A notification for a missed call bleeped out.

"Ally," Trish groaned. "You don't know what your next move is and you don't have any plan whatsoever, so I'm helping you! Now, call them back."

I placed my head in my hands and felt Trish yank the phone out of my lap. In the next moment I heard the dial tone on speaker and the same woman pick up.

"Hello," the woman sounded less cheery now, annoyance had creeped into her voice. "Dr. Moyer's Obstetrician/Gynecologist clinic, Elena speaking. Is there a problem?"

"I'm sorry," Trish spoke confidently into the receiver. "My friend Ally is more than a little bit freaked out right now."

"Oh," Elena's voice softened. "Did she want to book an appointment?"

"Yes! As soon as possible please."

"Alright, we have a cancellation on Friday at 4:15pm; does that work for you?"

Trish quickly glanced over to me and I stared at her blankly. "Yes, that sounds excellent."

"If you don't mind me asking, what's the nature of this appointment?"

"We're pretty sure she's pregnant," Trish told the receptionist. Those words coming from Trish's mouth sent me reeling. It's all too real now. I'm in the system.

Trish gave a few more details - my name, age, when I last had sex, my last period, and if I had any medical problems. The receptionist then informed us of the details of the appointment. What would likely happen was a blood and urine test, followed by some consultation and a possible ultrasound. How much money this whole ordeal would cost would be discussed at that appointment too. Apparently Dr. Moyer and her colleagues tended to be nicer on teenagers.

Pity. That's what I was going to get from now on. Looks of judgement and pity. I felt it for myself already, so why shouldn't everyone else?

"There," Trish said hanging up the phone and tossing it down on the bean bag chair. "One step at a time right?"

I bobbed my head up and down, trying to psych myself into going downstairs again. I wiped at my bloodshot eyes one last time, then stood up. Trish enveloped me into a hug and I wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"Thank you," I mumbled into her forest green blouse.

She pulled back from the hug and grinned at me. In spite of myself, I smiled back. "So, Friday?"

I pursed my lips and nodded. "Friday."

* * *

**AN:** Yeah I gave Ally a middle name, what's up! Haha... So I probably should've posted this on Friday or even at 10am when I left, but I totally thought I'd be back way before now! Sorry for the lateness, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway:) Drop me a review!


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:** I always get inspiration for writing late at night, which is totally inconvenient. Like, I'm lying there in bed at 2am and suddenly get an idea! And it's so brilliant and I'm like 'Omg you should do that!' but of course it's 2am and I don't want to get up... So then the morning comes and I furiously write down what I thought of. Thank God I don't forget! (usually) That's what happened to me on Wednesday and even though this Chapter was done, I had to add it. Because it was perfect.

Speaking of Wednesday, did anyone watch Young &amp; Hungry? I did, and I kinda loved it! Plus it's got my girl, Emily Osment - you can't go wrong there!

Anyway, enough of being sidetracked! I get this odd mix of fear and excitement whenever I hear my email ding that I have a new review! Which is weird considering I've only had one bad review thus far... In any case thank you all for reviewing and for the favourites and follows! I very much so appreciate them:) We're coming closer and closer to the end which makes me both sad, and happy at the same time! I feel pretty damn accomplished haha! So I hope you all enjoy this installment! Read, Review, and Enjoy! :D

Oh and I literally don't know any street names or numbers in Miami, so forgive me if this is an actual street... Or isn't.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 19: Ally's POV

Anxiety is not a state of mind that you constantly want to live in. But it's a problem I've been dealing with because once I get over one thought, another comes creeping right back up on me.

How can I do this?

Is it normal to feel this sick?

Can I do this?

Can I tell Austin?

I bet Trish feels awful. Why'd I put this on her?

How would Austin feel?

What did I get myself in to?

Can I raise a child?

Can Austin raise a child?

What would this do to his career?

What would this do to my future?

Should I have an abortion?

Am I strong enough to have an abortion?

Am I strong enough to have a child?

Where do I go from here?

Millions of questions swarmed my brain. They made it impossible for me to think, to sleep, to function as a normal human being. I was already exhausted because of these pregnancy hormones, I needed my sleep. I certainly wasn't getting enough at this point. Staying awake and worrying was not at all helpful. All my worries probably stemmed from me over analyzing everything. But when you have an analytical mind, what else is there to do?

I sighed and propped my head up against the passenger side window. The palm trees sped by, reminding me of how I used to count them when I was little. I used to count each one, name them and add them to my mental list of trees in my 'tree army'. My parents thought it was adorable and my mom thought it was some sign that I would be a Zoologist just like her. Realizing that now makes me just want to go back there. It was so much simpler.

"Ally?" Trish spoke from the drivers seat. "Are you crying again?"

"I don't know," I stated, taking a moment to realize I was in fact, crying. I shook my head and wiped my makeup-less eyes for the umpteenth time. "I was just thinking about how I used to count palm trees and how I totally wish I was back there again."

Trish stopped at the light and looked over to me. Her lips moved into a thin line as her eyes creased with pity. "I'm sorry. I know you wish this wasn't happening and that you were a kid again, but at some point you have to deal with this."

"What kind of world is this where Trish is being logical and I'm reverting back to childhood?"

"I don't think you're reverting with that kind of vocabulary," she laughed, adding air quotes around certain words.

I rolled my eyes as Trish drew her attention back to the road. We were deep in the heart of Miami, far from our little neck of the woods. As soon as the bell had chimed to notify the end of school, we were off. I made my last futile attempt to get away from all of this, but Trish found me. We had an hour to get to a place that, very well may take longer than an hour to get to.

Trish scanned the streets. Each and every number on the buildings. She watched the people on the side of the road, looking for any sign of something resembling a clinic.

When I'd finally gathered the nerve to look up this place online, I found out it was a 5 story building, with the pregnancy clinic being on the top floor. It was Dr. Valentina Moyer's own practice. She'd built herself up over many years and now had around fifty staffed just within this clinic. I'd also found out she, herself, had a kid at a young age. I guessed that that was why she had a soft spot for teenage pregnancies. It also gave me a tiny symbol of hope that she had actually made something of herself, even with a pregnancy behind her.

"What was the address again?" Trish asked, turning into a parking lot. "I think I might have passed it."

I shuffled around in the centre console of her car. There was a little compartment in between the two seats that stored papers. I opened it up and grabbed the map we'd neglected this whole trip. Trish had assured me she knew where she was going.

"Umm," I mumbled, unfolding the paper. "2435 Front Street."

"Okay, and we're at 2444."

She restarted the car and pulled onto the road. We went back the way we came, looking out my side of the car for the clinic's address. Eventually, I saw the building. The one I had over-researched the past few nights. Trish smiled as it came into view and quickly turned on her flasher.

When she finally dulled the engine after pulling into a shaded spot, I was overcome by the situation. Every emotion I ever had for this situation settled in my stomach. I stared at the cars passing by the clinic, envying all the people who were just normally going about their day. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried to find some sort of centre.

"Ally," Trish spoke, agitation creeping into her voice. "It's already 4:15, we have to get going."

"Since when do you care about time?" I asked snidely.

She rolled her eyes and opened her door. "Since you got yourself into a situation where someone needs to."

Trish slammed the door shut and I winced. How did I manage to get myself here? I continued to stare out the front window, not even bothering to undo my seatbelt. More than just a tiny part of me, wanted to stay in this car forever. I didn't need further confirmation of my predicament. I didn't need to take tests, hear how far along I was, hear my due date, or see an image plastered on the screen.

So maybe I was in a tiny bit of denial. So what?

I jumped when Trish opened the passenger side door and forcibly took my seatbelt off.

"Get out of the car," she spoke.

It wasn't so much a question as it was an order. I untangled myself from my legs - which had been drawn up to my chest - and slipped back into my Uggs. I grabbed my glasses out of the cup holder and exiting the car, placed them back on the bridge of my nose. The building in its entirety, focused before me.

This is my future.

I brushed my hands on my leggings, picking at the fabric. All I could do was stare at what was before me. I was motionless and terrified.

"Come on," Trish broke through my thoughts. My eyes jumped to hers and I saw sympathy reflected. She smiled and began walking, trying to prompt me to move from my spot. With a sigh, I finally moved my tired feet towards the next step of my life.

Trish stopped in the lobby to look at the signs for the various floors. "It's the 5th," I mumbled, defeat evident in my voice.

She backed up a few paces and joined the three other people waiting for the silver elevator doors to open. I stared at the tan place cards of all the Doctors. There were hundreds of names and titles. It made me dizzy to think of all the possibly sick people in this building. I directed my gaze to the small pharmacy in the corner, trying to think of anything other than why I was here.

The elevator dinged its arrival and people began filing in. I stood frozen as Trish tried to direct me in. I registered a woman asking Trish something, but she waved her off. Seconds later, the doors whooshed shut.

"Ally," Trish said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. I broke my gaze away from the cold metal doors, glanced at her face, then settled on the floor. "Al, you know you can do this and you know you have to. It's not time to play chicken, it's time for the next stage of the plan."

"I don't have a plan," I shook my head. I was as agitated as she was; I wanted this over.

Trish stormed over to the wall and slammed the elevator button. It lit up and dinged as the elevator arrived right that moment. She laughed snidely and grabbed my arm, forcing me to come with her. She pressed the button for the 5th floor and smiled triumphantly. But as soon as the motion appeared on her face, it vanished. She closed her eyes and when they reopened, she was staring at me.

"What?"

"I don't mean to be pushy, Ally. I know I shouldn't be pushing you, least of all now. I know I'm making you deal with something you don't want to and I know if it was up to you, we wouldn't be here. But you have to face this."

"I know," I swallowed. "I don't want to but I know."

She nodded and grabbed my hand, squeezing tightly then letting go once the elevator doors opened. There was a set of glass doors before us after we stepped out of the lift and into the main hallway. Trish made her way towards them as I, again, remained frozen in my spot. When she pushed the door and held it for me, I realized I actually needed to follow. Swallowing some of my fears, I shuffled passed Trish and into the main lobby of the clinic.

A petite blonde woman sat at the curved front desk, smiling at the incoming visitors. I walked towards the blue topped reception area, Trish on my heels. All I could do to keep myself standing was thinking that this day would be over soon. This would just take like an hour and then I could go home. I mean, maybe the tests from Monday were false, maybe this whole appointment would be a relief.

"Can I help you guys?" the blonde asked. I recognized her voice from the phone call Trish had made and noticed her place card did in fact say, Elena Yapovski.

"Yeah," Trish spoke, taking the lead from me. "My friend has an appointment today."

"Alright!" Elena said cheerfully. "Name?"

"Allison Dawson," I said demurely.

"Ah, Dawson right! I remember that! Like the Titanic; that's my favourite movie!" Elena gave another ten watt smile and typed something into her computer. She reached below the desk and produced three sheets of paper, a clipboard, and a pen. She handed them over and informed us that Dr. Moyer was a little understaffed today so they were a tiny bit behind. The sheets were for me to fill out while we waited.

I pivoted on my heel and faced the chairs in the lobby. Nearly all of them were full. There was a woman who looked as though she was in her 30's with two toddlers. She was visibly pregnant and had dark circles around her eyes, but she still looked happy. Another woman was there with who I assumed was her husband; a huge diamond ring was on her finger. They looked blissful - like newlywed Barbie and Ken. Next to them was a mother and her teenage daughter. The tiny redhead seemed devastated and her mother's lips were drawn in thin white lines, she was clearly angry. I shifted my eyes away from them to a tall, put together, business woman who seemed to be near the end of her first trimester. In contrast, there was another teenager who was busily typing on her phone. She had bright green hair and looked like she didn't have a care in the world.

And then there was me.

At the end of this square of women, is where I fit. I slumped down into the seat on the end and Trish sat across from me. My attention turned down to the clipboard. The first sheet was general information about myself, while the other two were more detailed about this appointment.

Allison Christina Dawson. 'Ally'. Born September 12th 1997. I filled in my address and each of my phone numbers. I neglected to put down the Sonic Boom's number as I didn't want them to call there. Next was if I wanted a detailed message about each appointment, I checked yes and wanted it directed to my cell. My emergency contact was my mother. Even though she knew nothing about this, if anything were wrong I'd want her here. I then checked off my gender, race, ethnicity, primary language, and relationship status. I signed that sheet, then quickly flipped to the next.

I caught Trish's eyes on me as I filled in the questions. She was calm, but there was something off about her that I couldn't quite place. Stretching out my shoulders lightly, I turned back to the second purple sheet. I filled in my name, date of birth, and age again. The rest needed much more attention.

Menstrual History

They were simple, basic questions. It wasn't something I really spent much time thinking about, but they weren't hard at all. I answered each with ease.

First Day of last period: October 14th 2013

# of days between: about 30

# of days you bleed: 5-6

Age of first period: 13

Amount of bleeding: medium

Sexual History

Severely non-extensive, I felt like writing on the sheet. Instead, I answered all that was asked, laughing slightly. I have had sex with 1 male partner. I was 17 my first time. I don't have pain or bleeding with sexual activity. And I've never had a pap smear.

Next!

Pregnancy History

None! Except this one, but who even knows if there is a this one...

Contraceptive History

Well obviously I don't have much of one considering I'm here.

Gynecologic History

I haven't had any of the problems listed. Moving on.

Health and Nutrition

I don't know how often I exercise per week. What do I do? I walk around the store, sometimes I'll swim, I'll run around doing stupid things with Austin and Trish and Dez. But formally? I don't really exercise. I eat a well balanced diet. I get calcium through milk products. I get vitamin D through the sun. I drink alcohol at parties and sometimes it makes me wind up in stupid situations! Ex. Having to come here. I don't smoke and I don't use other drugs.

I sighed, somewhat satisfied that I had at least finished two of the sheets. When I glanced across from myself again, Trish was gone. She had moved beside me as the girl with green hair had been called in. It seemed like Barbie and Ken had left too.

The first question on sheet three was about family history. Offhand, I couldn't really remember much. All I knew was that my Grandma had diabetes, my Grandpa had heart disease, and my cousin suffered from depression. I checked those boxes off for family and moved on. I wrote down that I'd been close to breaking my arm in second grade, and broke it in 6th. I didn't have any known allergies but I did need glasses. I checked off the vaccines that I knew I had, and that I wasn't a victim of domestic violence.

The final question came into view. Would you like a detailed summary of this appointment? Yes.

"Are you done?" Trish asked as I flipped back to the first page. I nodded and tried to even my hurried breathing. One step at a time. That was just one step. Now there's just one more.

"Allison Dawson?" an Asian nurse, with flowing bleach blonde hair called. The tiny redhead who had been sitting with her mother snapped her head up and I absently wondered if people knew who I was. Was Austin really that big?

I stood up and Trish again, followed on my heels. The nurse smiled as we joined her and led us down a long hallway to the room at the end. She assured us Dr. Moyer would be in soon. I was surprised to hear that Dr. Moyer herself would be the one to visit, and not one of her staff.

I aimlessly walked around the room, taking stalk. It was a large square room, sectioned off into different areas. In the back corner along the curtained off windows, was a desk with three red cushioned chairs situated around it. Behind this desk was a wall of smiling babies, all apparently had been delivered by Dr. Moyer. The walls were a muted emerald tone that seemed to match the festive garland that had been strung around the entrance. There were various posters hanged on the walls about reproduction, the womb, babies, and inspiring quotes. In the second back corner was a stool which could be moved along that wall to the medical bench. It was a cool silver metal with a brown cushion situated on top, parchment paper covered it - awaiting its next victim. There was a divider placed in the corner directly across from the desk which I assumed people changed behind and next to that was a scale. Everything put together gave me a weird vibe. It both resembled that of a doctors office, and didn't at the same time.

Trish moved towards the desk, grinning at all the faces of little babies. They only made me feel worse though. Soon enough I'll have one of those, won't I? It won't just be some dream. Soon I'll have my own Pearl to go with my newfound identity of Hester.

The door clicked and I whipped around, my ponytail inadvertently hitting me in the face. A tall, Hispanic, woman entered the room, wearing a pristine white lab coat. She beamed at us, hand extended and waiting for a hand shake.

"Hi," she spoke, clasping my hand and shaking. "I'm Valentina. You must be Allison. And Allison's friend?"

She peered around me to Trish who was still staring at all the children. "Oh, yeah!" Trish said and rushed to greet Valentina. "I'm Trish! And might I say, you have amazing hair!"

Valentina smiled and laughed, while heading towards the other side of the desk. She gestured for us to sit down and turned her attention to me. I slunk down in the seat; this was not my proudest moment.

"So I like to keep things relatively informal around here. It keeps the atmosphere a lot more comfortable and allows more openness, I think." she said shrugging off her white coat to reveal a deep mahogany shirt and black pants. "May not be how other people do it, but it's how I run my practice. It's why I just refer to myself as Valentina. I don't want to be some intimidating woman who's looking down at your private parts. I want you to be able to tell me absolutely anything."

Trish nodded and it took me a moment to realize, Valentina was looking for the same response from me. "Oh," I spoke unintentionally.

Valentina's eyes creased, softening. "Honey, I get how completely terrified and out of you mind you must be, trust me I get it. I was young myself when I had my baby. But he's made me who I am today and I wouldn't change that for the world. Whatever you think you can't do, I guarantee you can. It might be hard but when is life ever easy?"

I let out the air I had been holding and gave her a wry smile. She gingerly took the clipboard out of my hands and ran her finger over the points I had written.

"So what got you here?" she asked.

"Sorry?"

Her eyes creased into laugh lines again. "Your story. What brought you to this point?"

"Uhhh," I started, trying to find a way to word what I was going to say. "I was drunk and slept with my best friend at a party, while he was dating someone else and she found out and plastered that all over the school and made my life a personal hell, while she laughed and the school laughed and I just felt awful and everything just built; I assumed I was just stressing but when it all blew over and barely anyone was calling me a slut and Austin and I got together I realized I was so late and that just doesn't happen to me. Ever."

I took a deep breath. How had I said that without breathing? God, that was the first time I had said all of that out loud. It sounded crazy. Valentina blinked at me, taking in all the information I had just spewed.

"Well damn," she said, eyebrows raised. "That's a lot for anyone to take in. But, nonetheless, we have some things to figure out. So you haven't had a period since October, is that the main reason you're here?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that and the positive pregnancy tests," Trish supplied.

"How many tests are we talking here?" Valentina asked.

"Three," I sniffed.

She nodded, stood up from her chair, and clasped her hands together. "Alright, well this may not be the news you want to hear, but having 3 home pregnancy tests come up positive, means they are positive. It's hard to get that many false positives and if you did it right - which I'm assuming you did - then that's your answer. However, I can do a blood test and urine analysis for you if you need absolute confirmation."

"Yes please," I whispered. I knew I was pregnant already, but maybe if I had it spelled out on official paper, I'd believe. Maybe I'd be able to do more than just one step at a time. Maybe I'd actually have the confidence to tell Austin.

Valentina rushed around the room, finding the proper items so she could perform the test. She gave me a bottle of water so that it would be easier to find a vein, and I would have an easier time going to the bathroom. I watched her as I drank. She was putting everything she needed onto a metal tray and lining it up on a rolling desk that was next to the stool.

"Okay," she said snapping the gloves into place on her hands. "Hop on up Allison."

"It's Ally," I said, hesitantly making my way over to the bench. There were steps at the bottom so I wouldn't have to boost myself.

"Right, I read that in your notes."

I looked down as she gingerly pulled up the sleeve of my fuchsia blouse. I found my hands shaking ferociously and desperately tried to distract myself from the current situation. After Valentina had securely tied the band around my upper arm and had the vials and tubes at the ready, she came in front of me. She smiled and put her hands on my shoulders, telling me to relax. A way to calm my nerves was to use a special type of yoga breathing. I did as she told me and watched as my hands steadied. I closed my eyes and swallowed, feeling the tiny prick of the blood test.

"And we're done!" she said pressing gauze to my elbow crease and putting tape overtop. "Now that might bruise and be a tad sore but it won't do much more than that."

I nodded and she allowed me to hop down to do the urine test. She led me to the bathroom that was across from her office. I realized how awkward this must be for Trish. She wasn't doing much, just sitting there and watching. I was about to freak out and there was nothing Trish could do about it.

When I finally made my way back to the original room, gross urine cup in hand - Trish and Valentina were talking. I guess it wasn't that awkward for her... As I walked closer and placed the cup on one of the counters, it became very clear that they were talking about Zaliens. God, what was it about that movie?

Valentina laughed then smiled at me. "All set?" I nodded and she stood up taking the cup and placing it with the blood test. "I'll take these down to the lab. The urine analysis will be ready by the time you leave, but the blood test won't be ready for 24 hours and since tomorrow's Saturday and the lab isn't open on weekends, I can't give you those results until Monday! Don't worry though, I can give you a positive or negative result based on the urine test."

"You know," Trish said, once Valentina had left. "She's pretty cool."

"I wouldn't know," I mumbled.

"Ally, stop! No freaking yourself out right now!"

"How can I not freak out when everything in this room reminds me of my current situation?"

"Well it's not like the walls of this room would be painted with death and decaying buildings!"

"Honestly? I would much rather that than smiling children."

Trish rolled her eyes and walked over to the wall of babies. "See this one?" she pointed to the one in the centre. The picture was old and fraying, but held a baby with gorgeous blue eyes. "That's Valentina's kid. He's adorable! Obviously he doesn't look like that anymore but he looks happy. She told me how proud she is of him. He's apparently graduated college, top of his class! Look where he is and look where she is! That's what you can do!"

"It's not that easy!" I started to cry. "You can't just magically say that all your dreams can come true because it worked out for one person! Look at all the babies on that wall and think of all the ones who aren't! Think of all the babies whose lives are shit because they weren't the ones where every dream came true! What if that's me? What if I'm the one who can't provide? Or gets rejected? Or gets kicked out? What if I can't do any of this and I can't go to college and this kid can't go to college? What if I'm the exception to all of those rules on the wall?"

Trish stood there and stared at me. It was the first time I had actually blown up at her. The first time I had voiced what had me the most terrified about all of this.

"You're not," Trish said, surprise evident in her voice. "You're stronger than this. And you won't be rejected or whatever you think. Come on Ally, you're my best friend! I know you! Valentina reminds me so much of you. She has that same drive that I know is hidden somewhere in this mess."

I shook my head vigorously and scoffed. "I don't know where that is! I don't know where it went and I don't know if it's even coming back! I'm pretty sure I failed that Biology test on Thursday, that's not very driven now is it?"

"That's fear," Trish said confidently. "You're just being clouded by fear."

"Yeah," I scoffed. "Hell yeah, I'm afraid. I'm terrified! I cant do this."

"There's solutions to that."

"I can't do that either," I whispered, shaking my head. Trish pursed her lips and stood awkwardly by the desk. She didn't know what to do and neither did I. No matter what I chose to do, there was no easy fix. I had nothing to fall back on and I was scared beyond belief.

"Okay, so I have confirmation from the urine test!" Valentina called as she sauntered into the room. She still looked rather pleasant but once she fully took in the situation, her face changed. "I'm sorry Ally, you're pregnant."

Confirmation. Pregnant. And what can I do about that? I broke down even further and Trish led me to the red chairs again. Valentina came over and kneeled before me. She grabbed my hands and held tight.

"I know that's not the news you wanted to hear and I know you've found this yourself on your own. And I'm sorry. It's terrifying. It's scary. It's horrible. I know. I can't tell you to stop your emotions or your reactions, but this isn't the end of the world. I promise you it's not as bad as you feel right now." she gave me a wry smile then shook her head. "I'm not going further with the exam. It's not going to be productive for anyone and it's only going to further your apathetic mood. I want you to be calm before we go any farther with any exam or decision, okay? What I suggest our next move is you coming in and just talking. Not now, I want you to just go home and relax now. But I want you to come back." she straightened and walked to the other side of her desk, flipping through a schedule. "I'm at the hospital on Wednesday to meet a patient. I have some time around noon; that'll be your lunch hour, I assume. I'd like to meet with you at my office there and talk over everything you're feeling. Is that alright?"

I used her breathing technique to calm myself down so I was able to talk. "Okay."

She smiled and wrote that down in her notes. "Use that breathing technique I showed you. It works as you've seen and it really calms you down. I'd also like to suggest something else that you might not be so keen on. I want you to tell the father."

I sucked in a gasp of air, surprised. "I don't know."

"Think about it."

Silence followed Trish and I as we made our way out of the offices and into the main hallway. Classical music enveloped our journey down in the elevator and only our footsteps were heard scuffing through the main floor and the parking lot. We got back into the car and I clutched the paper that Valentina had given me with the positive result on it. What am I going to do?

"So you're really not going to tell Austin?" Trish asked, agitation in her voice.

"I don't know," I said wiping at my eyes and scrunching myself up in the passenger seat.

She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel. "Seriously?"

"Look, obviously I'll tell him eventually, I just don't know when."

"What? Like when you can't hide it anymore?"

"Trish!" I yelled. "Can you just give me this? You've steered this whole thing, just let me tell Austin on my own. Okay?"

She rolled her eyes and ignited the engine. "Fine."

* * *

**AN:** And somehow my chapters keep getting longer... Oh well that's better for you, more to read! Also does anyone know what Ally's birthday is? Like there's no mention of this, so I made it up because my friend has a personality very similar to Ally and she's born on September 12th! I promise you Austin finds out incredibly soon(like within the next chapter soon), so don't worry that's close! Can we get to 100 reviews? Yes? Yes? Yes?


	20. Chapter 20

**AN:** So I wrote Chapter 21 before I wrote this one and then came back to this... 21 seemed more interesting but then at the same time I wrote half of this one before I wrote Chapter 18. I'm all over the place man! But anyway me having only half of this one done and working on 21 instead, was not the best plan! I realized Thursday - after helping my cousin with her new baby boy all week (he's so adorable by the way) and celebrating Canada Day with all my friends on Tuesday - that I needed to finish this! And after compulsively writing the rest of this on Thursday, here it is! I'm actually pretty proud with how it turned out.

Anyway Happy (Belated) Canada Day! Or ya know, whatever you celebrate haha;)

Like always thank you for the reviews! Finally at 100(plus a little extra)! How awesome is that? :D Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 20: Ally's POV

The cool morning breeze drifted in through the doors as another customer walked into the Sonic Boom. It was busy for a Sunday, but made sense with it being the Christmas season. My mom had put her festive touch around the shop, a tradition that had taken up most of my Saturday. It wound up being the best distraction from my life.

My dad was busily flitting through the store, arranging new displays and marking down objects for 'Christmas Deals'. Really, all he was doing was marking them down by a dollar and hoping no one would notice. When something says deal, it must be a deal! He'd left me manning the cash. It's not an outright hard job, but when your head is pounding and you're feeling as though you could vomit, it's downright annoying. The breeze that the customers brought into the shop was comforting, but the heat at more bodies pondering through the shelves really was not helpful. I was a weird hot and cold mess. All I was banking on was staying hydrated and breathing evenly. I could stop myself.

I absently doodled in the stock book. There was more window shopping happening than actual buying and the cash desk was getting boring. I had half the mind to take my lunch break right then; walk through the mall and stand in front of a fan to cool myself down, but I knew my dad would not allow me that luxury. It was only 11:30 after all! I'd get my break at 1 once the lunch shopper rush was over.

I sighed and watched people mulling around the front. Lessons had been cancelled for the month of December, as per usual. This was the one year I wished they were still ongoing. I needed something to take my mind off of all this bullshit. All of Trish's pestering and Austin's questioning. There was a simple solution to both of those problems but I still couldn't bring myself to do it. I was terrified. Absolutely and completely terrified. The what ifs surrounding me telling Austin stopped me every time. It was still stopping me.

Because what if he hated me after this?

What if he could never look at me the same way?

What if he wanted me to get rid of it?

What if he got angry?

What if I made him cry?

What if he left?

What if he told everyone?

My mind swarmed with pointless questions and pointless accusations. I completely understood why Valentina wanted to counsel me about all this, but I had a harder time trying to understand why she wanted me to tell Austin. It was just causing me more stress.

I blew hair out of my face as it fell from behind my ear. I brushed it back and returned to the absent minded doodles. A drawing was starting to take shape... And it's Austin. Subconsciously drawing a boy with a guitar; I guess that says a lot about me.

"Excuse me?" a woman with auburn hair said, ringing the tiny bell on the front desk. I looked up and flipped the stock book shut. Her eyebrows raised at my hurried movement but returned to pleasantries a moment later.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, trying to sound cheery. Everything was about the Christmas spirit now. I had to exude joy from every pore, the Santa hat my mom made me wear just wasn't enough.

She smiled and produced a few books of sheet music from her side. "My daughter's kind of a musical prodigy," she laughed. They were all piano books from different movies. The songs of Tangled, Frozen, Harry Potter, Twilight, The Hunger Games. I nodded as I scanned each book. "She started piano a few years ago and now she's 15 and she's already one of the highest levels!"

"Oh, that's kind of like me," I explained and her expression turned sour. "I mean, I started playing when I was like 3. Just kind of picked it up."

She rolled her eyes as though she didn't believe my story and looked down at her phone. It was then that my mind placed who this woman was. I'd seen her on Friday a scowl just as evident on her face as it was now. She seemed so proud of her daughter, when she so obviously wasn't 2 days ago. I absently wondered what she had made her daughter do. Was it just a check up there or was abortion her answer?

I reached across the counter for the final book of sheet music as the woman looked up. My stomach seized as she set her sights down on my outstretched arm. I pulled back and scanned the item, but confusion crossed her features.

"That'll be-"

"What'd you do to your arm?" she interrupted.

Just like Valentina had said - and like I had experienced before with blood tests - a bruise had formed in the crease of my elbow. It wasn't particularly nasty, but it still looked like I had been hit with something. Yesterday I had been wearing a long sleeve shirt because of this, but apparently that hadn't been very present on my mind today. A half sleeve, mint, cotton shirt had fallen out of my closet and I considered it with my new high-low black skirt. It was adorable together and actually covered my bruising elbow. Only just, but it still appealed to me.

I hadn't expected my sleeve to roll up at the most inopportune moment.

"Oh nothing," I said brushing down the fabric to cover the bruise. "I kind of caught a shelf with my elbow yesterday! Hurt like hell!" I smiled and looked down at the cash, hoping her next words would not be incriminating. "So is that all for-"

"No," she scoffed. "The bruise isn't that bad, honey, and you're not that good of a liar."

"I'm better than you think," I mumbled, considering how many lies I've told in the past month.

She shook her head sadly and gave me a wry smile. "Does your mother know where you were on Friday?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I blinked and cocked my head to the side, trying to exude confusion.

"Don't play games with me. Allison, was it?"

I froze. Why would she remember my name? How did I manage to strike some cord in her mind? I pursed my lips and searched the store for where my dad was. "Yeah," I settled on with a roll of my eyes. "Yeah, she knows, but my dad doesn't so could we please just, not maybe?"

It wasn't the most encouraging or even convincing of sentences, but her face softened slightly. I looked back down at the till, trying to encourage her to pay and then leave.

"Oh sweetie, I'm not sure I can do that!" she drew her mouth into a thin line but looked at me as though she cared. She truly thought she was doing the right thing.

"What was your daughter there for?" I whispered.

"The same thing you should've done. You're far too young to be doing this sweetheart."

"I could do without the patronizing," I said, my eyebrows furrowing. "But you don't even know how old I am."

"I know from looking at you, darling."

I let out a long stream of air. Throwing up on this woman would not end well for me. "Looks can be deceiving."

"Clearly! You don't expect so many young ladies to be whores!"

I gasped. I'd been called a whore a lot these past few weeks with the whole Kira ordeal, but hearing it from an outside source actually stung a little. And it just made me feel nauseas. This is what people will think of me. My mind swarmed into pregnancy hell again. I didn't know what to say to this woman, let alone how to stop her from telling my father. It all ends for me here, doesn't it?

From the corner of my panic struck, wide eyes, I saw Trish. She had just walked into the store - Dez and Austin in tow. She seemed taken aback by the look on my face but clearly understood who it was directed at. She nodded at me and turned to face Dez.

"Hey!" Trish shouted, wild eyed. "Dez! Oh my God there's a bug on your pie!l

"What?!" Dez exclaimed, flailing his arms in an attempt to see and be rid of this bug. "Where? Is it going to eat me?"

I knew what was coming. I could see the plan that had formed in Trish's mind, but the fact that it actually came to be was astonishing. Dez's hands slipped from the tin of the pie as he projected it across the room. I ducked in case he missed. When I returned to my normal position, I saw it. I had to hold back a laugh.

The dark red hair of the woman was now covered in whipped cream and gelatin. It had dripped down onto her silken blazer and was smeared on her cheeks.

"Oh my God," I whispered bringing my hands over my mouth.

"Oh shit!" Trish shouted, but I saw the smirk playing on her features.

Dez frowned. "My poor pie. It was so perfect and so young. Didn't even see it coming."

The woman angrily stared down at the mess. She was breathing heavily, a snarl on her lips. She clenched her fists at her sides and clutched at her purse. "Don't expect to be seeing my business again, slut."

I almost opened my mouth to apologize. I almost wanted to be professional. Almost.

"Uh," Austin stuttered, looking between the three of us and the retreating back of that woman. "What just happened?"

"I lost my pie!" Dez said mournfully.

I turned my attention back to the cash and piled the sheet music back up. I pressed a few of the worn out buttons and cancelled the order. Taking a swig of my water bottle, I noticed my dad rushing over to the cash desk.

"What's going on?" he asked, sidestepping a dollop of whipped cream.

I struggled to find a way to describe what had just gone on. "Dez dropped his pie on some woman," Austin supplied.

"I wouldn't have thrown it if Trish hadn't said there was a bug on it!" Dez whined.

"But there was a b-"

"Okay guys," my dad interrupted. "Ally, why don't you take your friends and go to lunch?"

My dad was flustered, I could tell that. He'd lost a costumer and we'd made a mess of his store, two things he couldn't stand. I nodded and bent down to grab my tote bag, then stuffed my water bottle back in there. I joined everyone else and we silently left the shop. No one spoke until we reached the food court.

"Oh my God, that was too perfect," Trish laughed.

I broke down into unabashed laughter and it felt good. "I can't believe that just happened," I stuttered out between laughs.

"This isn't funny! I lost my pie!" Dez moaned, looking at us as though we were crazy.

"Why'd she call you a slut?" Austin asked.

That stopped us. Trish rolled her eyes and walked away. If only he knew... But I've been trying my hardest for him to stay in the dark. I shrugged and followed Trish. She'd gotten in line for Starbucks.

"Have you eaten anything yet?" she asked.

"No," I shook my head, making sure Austin and Dez weren't behind me. They had gone to the other side of the food court in search of pizza. "I can't keep anything down."

"What like at all?"

"Like the morning," I hissed. "It passes by like 12 or 1 and then comes back around midnight."

"So don't eat after midnight."

"Helpful," I muttered. "Suddenly I'm a gremlin."

We got up to the counter and Trish ordered herself a Caramel Macchiato and a brownie, then ordered a chocolate chip muffin for myself. She thanked the barista and headed for a table in the middle of the cafeteria. I slunk down in my seat and she slid me the muffin.

"When are you going to tell him?" she asked, leaning in close to me.

I looked down at the table and swallowed. "Eventually."

"That's not an answer."

"Last I checked it is."

"It's not a date, or a time, or a place."

"Well forgive me for being a little scatter brained!"

I rolled my eyes and picked a chunk out of the muffin. I loved Trish to death but she was really going overkill on this. Every time I talked to her it was all pregnancy this, or pregnancy that. That's all my thoughts were already, I didn't need another constant reminder of my situation. Sometimes all I wanted was that slight distraction or good laugh. With Trish, that wasn't what I was getting.

"We got pizza!" Dez exclaimed, slamming down a box.

They opened the box and dug in. It never ceased to amaze me how these boys could finish a whole large pizza only in a few minutes. I dejectedly ate that muffin, trying to avoid the smell of tomatoes and watching Trish sip her macchiato.

"So I was thinking," Dez said through a mouthful of pizza. "That because Ally's never seen Zaliens, that we could have a marathon!"

"Today?" I asked. "I have to get back to work, this is just a lunch break."

"I don't know, your dad seemed pretty dismissive!" Dez taunted.

Austin wrapped his arm around the back of my chair and lightly rubbed my shoulder. He was still worried about me. "It's okay. If you need to get back to work then go for it. We can have a marathon next weekend."

"You don't even like the movies," I laughed.

"Sometimes it's worthwhile to see horrible movies," he winked.

"Hey!" Trish and Dez shouted at the same time. I held back a laugh as Austin grinned.

"If we're having a marathon, there'll be none of this 'making fun' shit going on!" Trish announced. "They're too perfect to be made fun of."

I shook my head and reached into my bag for my water bottle.

"Hey," Austin stopped me, his eyes transfixed on something. I straightened up and raised my eyebrows as he grabbed my arm. He pulled up my sleeve and I knew what he had seen. "How'd that happen?"

Obviously I'd picked the wrong day to wear this shirt. Trish blinked uncontrollably and looked as though she we visibly holding herself back. "Um," I said, pulling my sleeve back over my skin. "I caught a shelf with my elbow?"

I used the same excuse I had told that woman at the store, though this time it came out as more of a question. Austin's brow furrowed and I smiled. Please just accept it.

"Oh my God!" Trish yelled, slamming her fist down on the table and standing up. "Can we just stop it with all of these lies?"

"Trish," I said, warningly.

"No, Ally you need to man up and stop hiding behind a fountain of lies!"

"Fountain of lies?" Dez questioned.

"Trish," I stared at her, willing myself to not cry. "I've asked you so many times, but I'm going to ask you once more to allow me the courtesy of my own time."

"This isn't about time!" she shouted. "You're just too scared to do anything about this! Step away from it all and just tell him you're pregnant!"

The table froze. Trish - realizing what she had just said - sat back down, face blank. No one moved. All that anyone did was stare. Some people around us were staring too, but only for a moment. It took them a few seconds to return to normal conversation, it took us much longer.

I didn't dare look at Austin's face. I trained my gaze to the table. The peeling white linoleum was less interesting and where I wanted to focus my energy. I picked at a spot that someone had already spent time destroying. The conversations of other people drowned out our silence. In the immediate vicinity, all that could be heard was breathing and Dez's chewing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to jump across the table and murder Trish for doing this to me. I wanted to go back in time and wear a different shirt or have the balls to tell Austin. Hell, if I'm wishing anything, I wish I never slept with him.

"What?" Austin said. There was something I'd never heard in his voice before. Somewhere between fear and disbelief.

"I'm sorry," Trish whispered from across the table. I snapped my head toward her, anger playing on my features. I saw Austin turn his gaze on her too.

"So this isn't some joke then?" he laughed nervously.

I took a deep breath, desperately clawing at some form of calm; some form of sanity. "Can we go back to the store, Austin?"

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

He paced. I sat down on the piano bench in the song room and he paced. We hadn't said a word to each other on the way here. There was nothing to be said. I knew he was angry. There was some form of betrayal brewing within him and I understood. I felt horrible. I couldn't tell him and now I was paying the price.

I turned my back on him and faced the piano. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of all the memories we'd made in this room. I hoped I hadn't ruined all of that. I had too many bad moments here now, just in the past month. I wished we were back to that first time we were writing a song. Or that time we wrote a love song and almost kissed. Things used to be so easy, but bring cheating into the mix and you get this. Whatever this is.

I ran my fingers along the keys, absently playing a slow scale. It sounded sad. It perfectly matched my mood. When I finished, I heard the pacing stop. He'd come to a halt behind me and I turned to face him. Once again I looked into a face that I had broken.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

He smiled sadly, it didn't reach his eyes. "Tell me."

"What?"

"Tell me the truth. Tell me how you would tell me."

I blinked and looked down at my hands that were clasped in my lap. "I'm pregnant."

He sat down next to me on the piano bench and sighed. "When did you find out?"

"Last week... But Friday for sure."

"You've been to a doctor?"

"Trish made me."

"Trish has been making you do a lot lately," Austin mumbled. He ran a hand through his hair and when he put it down on his lap I could see how much he was shaking. I grabbed onto it and held, needing some form of comfort. He intertwined his fingers with mine and squeezed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't," I stated, staring out the window. "I was too afraid of how you might react."

"Were you planning on telling me?"

I could see this was a bone of contention. I'd been too chicken to tell him and that made him feel unimportant. He knew as well as I did that if Trish hadn't of told him, he would've been in the dark for weeks. Maybe this was better in the long run, but I hated myself for making him feel like that. I should've just told him to start with. He was my best friend, he wouldn't have done anything bad.

Austin took my hesitation as an answer and sighed, pulling away slightly. "You should've told me."

"Well now you know," I whispered, tears trailing down my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I'm sorry we're in this mess. But you can do whatever you want. You can stay or you can leave or you can be mad or happy or whatever, I just don't want you to feel obligated or like you're stuck with me. I know how new this is and we've been dating for like a week. Less than that even, we barely even went on a date. So I'm sorry for that too. I just, whatever you decide I'm on board with."

"Ditto," he said. "But I'm not leaving and I don't feel obligated to stay with you. You're basically my best friend Ally, and even if I didn't love you I would still support you 100% in this situation. Sure I'm a little pissed off that you didn't tell me but we're still here and we still have to deal with this. Obviously it's not going to be something easy, but it doesn't have to be as scary as you're making it out to be."

"I don't know how to not be afraid."

He laughed. "I don't know either."

Silence filled the room. Neither one of us spoke. We were both hurt and confused and afraid. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. Austin pulled me to his side, wrapping his arms around me. I curled into him, reveling in his warmth.

"What're you going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know."

He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Just tell me from now on."

"Okay."

* * *

**AN:** This is probably the latest I've gotten this up here! But I was whisked away from my slumber paradise early this morning by my boyfriend. We wound up going to an amusement park which was actually amazing, but I still knew this needed to come up! So sorry for the lateness but I hope you enjoyed! And now Austin knows! Drop me a review:)


	21. Chapter 21

**AN:** One of my best friends had a fire at her house this week, resulting in the death of all her pets. I dedicate this chapter to her and her loss. I'm sorry babies.

On a lighter note, thank you for the reviews and all the love you gave after the last chapter. There's only 9 left after this one and that's really hard for me to believe! I can't believe I'm actually this close to finishing my story! Gives me hope for the future:)

Also totally random but, I really want all the clothes in Aria's closet from Pretty Little Liars... So if anyone wants to get me that, that'd be great haha!

Trying out something interesting to capture your attention in this chapter! Read, Review, and Enjoy:)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 21: Ally's POV

"Ally, I'm sorry," Trish said tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Don't be, none of this is your fault!" I managed.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"I'm so sorry!" Trish said for the millionth time that week. Only three days had passed since Sunday. Wednesday had arrived and so had the day of the counseling.

I rolled my eyes and plunked my bag down onto the desk. "I know. You've said that about a hundred times. Per day."

"But I am sorry. I didn't mean to just blurt that out. I should've let you do what you wanted."

"It's fine," I said settling into my chair. "It's both good and bad. Like he knows at least. He's not too impressed with how he knows, but that's my fault not yours."

"No! Ally, you don't have to blame yourself for yet another thing!" Trish said, taking out her textbook and flipping to the page that was written on the board.

"But you don't have to say sorry every five seconds."

"I know," she pulled out some pens and pencils. "It's just I see you and I see him and I feel bad for how I just let it go."

"Alright, so we're both sorry!" I decided, pulling my hair up into a topknot. "Can we move on now?"

I wasn't in the mood to talk about who was more sorry or really anything to do with pregnancy. I was so dizzy and didn't need a reminder of why.

"Yeah, sure," Trish smiled and turned her attention to the front as Miss. Daily walked in. She looked back to me and raised her eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

I cocked my head to the side and rubbed my shoulder absently. "Yeah, why?"

"I dunno. You just look pale. Is it bad today?"

"The nausea?" I whispered to a nod. "I'm just dizzy. It's fine."

She drew her eyebrows together, but looked away. The announcements started, asking for people to audition for the Christmas show. I had a feeling Austin would go for it and I might be suckered into it myself. At least it would give me something to do, something to take my mind off of everything. After all, I wouldn't be able to hide this for much longer!

That was the part of all of this that made me physically scared. If that woman - who made her daughter get an abortion - was any representation of what everyone else was going to think of me, I don't know how I'll survive. Telling Austin was one battle, how everyone else is going to react is another. But the fact is, Austin's an amazing guy. His reaction is no where near the gauge of how others are going to react.

Austin.

I thank God that I have him. I knew there was a part of him that still hated how I hid this and how Trish was the one who came out with the secret, but he was still perfect. He still smiled when he saw me or kissed me on the cheek. He still asked me if I was okay or if I needed anything. He still cared. He was able to push away this dejected, angry, pain and be there for me when I needed him most.

There was no way I would ever be able to repay him for this support.

I smiled at the thought of him and turned my gaze to the front of the class. The announcements had ended and Miss. Daily was straightening out a stack of papers. Oh shit. I know what that means.

"Don't get too excited that I'm giving your tests back today! I know it's usually a riled up occasion where everyone shares marks and tries to one up each other, but we have to buckle down before the Christmas season is upon us. I'm aware I only have one good week before your brains all turn to break mush! So here are your tests!" Miss. Daily singsonged as she began making her way around the classroom. She walked through the maze of desks placing the papers face down, with either a smile or grimace.

When the test paper appeared on my desk, I didn't look at her face. I didn't want to know how disappointed she was in me. I flipped it over and my eyes grew wide.

"I passed," I whispered.

Trish peaked over my shoulder at my 85% and grinned. "See? What did I tell you? Totally driven right there!"

Miss. Daily returned to our bank of desks and placed Trish's test face down, a smile on her face. Trish cocked her head to the side and much like myself, her eyes grew wide at the sight of her mark.

"Oh my God, I got a 76%!" she exclaimed. The was her highest mark this semester. "I guess that shows what knowing your subject does."

"I always tell you to study," I teased.

"Isn't this a pitiful way to learn that lesson," she mumbled and then froze. "Sorry, sometimes I just don't think."

"Clearly," I laughed.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, my nerves had gotten the better of me. I wasn't too keen on going to this counseling session. It was one more step closer to everything becoming real. After this, all that was left was telling our parents, then seeing the baby for the first time on the sonogram. Once I'd done those two steps, it would all be over. I wouldn't be able to hide behind some shade of denial, because everyone would know and I would always see that picture. I wasn't sure if it was really for the best or not.

In any case, all of my nervousness contributed to an outrageous amount nausea. My world was spinning as I walked the halls to my locker. Trish shot me a wry smile when I arrived. She was casually leaning against her locker, twirling a curl around her red tipped nails.

"I think I've unlocked the newest symptom," I said, opening the door to my locker and stashing some books inside.

Trish laughed. "What like a video game?"

"Shut up," I mumbled. "My shoulders hurt."

"Don't aches and pains come later?"

"I don't know," I said, closing my locker and leaning up against it like Trish was. "I think with all the changes going on everything has the possibility of hurting. Like I finally have those cramps from stuff expanding."

She shrugged and stood up straight. "So you still need a ride?" I nodded. "Are you sure you don't want Austin to go with you?"

"It's something I need to do alone," I explained. "I mean, you're just taking me there, you're not coming in or anything."

"Right," she grimaced. "That makes sense."

We migrated away from the lockers and down the front stairs. I placed my hand on my right hip. I'd been having cramps since Monday evening. It felt like the same sort of cramps I got when I was on my period. It was annoying, but nothing I hadn't dealt with before. Trish had parked at the back of the school, meaning we probably should've used the back stairs.

"Hey!" Dez yelled down the hall.

I rolled my eyes but turned around, feeling a new wave of dizziness wash over me. Austin and Dez were rushing towards us.

"Where ya going?" Austin asked. He grabbed onto my hands - pulling one away from my side - and smiled.

"Trish is taking me to lunch," I said, swaying my arms slightly.

He turned his gaze to Trish and she nodded. "Yeah, just some girl time."

It wasn't the best lie I had seen from her, but it looked as though it worked. Austin searched my face then leaned in and kissed me. I wasn't expecting it, but I allowed myself to give in. A rush of joy washed over me at the same time as nausea.

He pulled back and I took a breath. I'd never been this dizzy before in my life.

"You okay?" Austin asked.

"Yeah," I said, nodding feebly.

He pulled me close to his body and my cramp gave way to pain. I winced, but it only felt like the sting of a stubbed toe. There for a second, but gone the next. I looked up into his deep amber eyes and felt reassured. He smiled then hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging back.

"See you in English," I quipped, pulling away and turning to walk with Trish.

We hurried to Trish's car. We had about twenty minutes to get to the hospital in time for my appointment. Valentina had called on Monday with my blood test results, another confirmation of pregnancy along with some numbers I didn't really understand. She had also told me where to go, who to talk to, and what to say when I got to the hospital. All of that was greatly appreciated.

But every ounce of information slipped from my mind as we got closer to our destination. When yet another imposing building came into sight for me, I realized how incredibly nauseated I was. This was beyond anything I'd felt these passed few weeks. Couple that with the pain in my shoulders and that on my side, I was starting to think something was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Trish asked.

"I don't know," I replied as she pulled into a spot in the parking garage.

She killed the engine and stared at me wide eyed. "Should I call Austin?"

I shook my head. "No. No, not yet."

I saw the worry play out on her face, but she turned away from me and exited the car. I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the passenger side door. Grabbing hold of my messenger bag, I made my move to get out of the car only to trip in pain. Trish rushed over and grabbed me before I fell on my face.

"What's going on?" she asked, taking in the scene. Her arms were no longer holding me up. I was hunched over, clutching my right side in pain. Tears had begun to form in my eyes. What was going on? "Ally, what's happening?"

"I don't know!" I whined.

"Okay," she said grabbing onto my arm. "Let's go in then!"

Trish held onto my arm as we walked through the parking lot. I tried hard not to cry, holding my side, desperately wishing I wasn't falling apart.

"What floor?"

"Like, 3... I think."

"You think?" Trish asked, her hand on her hip as she pressed the up button.

"This isn't the time to be questioning me," I moaned.

She sighed and waited for the doors to open. I trained my eyes on the floor, trying not to freak out. Trying not to cry. Trying not to fall down and break.

The elevator dinged in arrival and a screaming man in a wheel chair was rushed out. Trish's eyes widened and she turned to me in confusion. I shrugged lightly, only to be met with more pain in my shoulders. We walked into the wooden paneled elevator and Trish pressed the button for the third floor. She stared at me, biting her lip. Worry creased the lines on her forehead. She was genuinely afraid. Seeing this on her face only made me feel worse. It only made me feel like something was about to happen. Like something was dangerously wrong.

The doors opened on the third floor. It was undeniably the pregnancy ward. With directions to Delivery, The NICU, The Nursery, and OB/GYN Offices sprawled across the walls - there was no denying it. Trish told me to go sit down while she signed me in. I expected the same drill to go on. I'd be given a clipboard to fill out and then I'd be taken in. But I was only greeted with more pain when I slumped into a green padded chair. I drew my legs up to my chest, covering my mouth as I unintentionally let out a shriek. It wasn't exactly unheard of on this floor - two women had already been wheeled by screaming - but I didn't look like those women. I was this tiny, flat stomached, teenage girl who looked on the verge of a meltdown.

Trish rushed over with a nurse, both looking agitated and nervous. The nurse crouched down in front of me. "Ally, honey, can you tell me what's going on?"

"I don't know what's happening," I mumbled.

"Where does it hurt?" the tiny blonde nurse asked.

"My stomach and my shoulders," I supplied. I was aware that the patrons in this waiting room were staring. Their looks ranged from distain, to pity, to fear. I saw the nurse look down at the floor, avoiding my gaze. I felt the tears stream down my face, smudging my mascara. I knew what was going on.

I heard heels clicking around the corner as the blonde nurse straightened herself and hurried away. She told Trish to keep me calm. Thousands of warning bells went off in my mind, telling me that this was not a calming, normal, everyday situation. I saw Valentina talking to the same nurse who had just asked me what was wrong, a somber look crossing their features. A wheel chair was produced and that seemed like confirmation.

"Hi Allison," Valentina forced a smile. "Would you mind just taking a seat here so we can see what's up?"

I switched to the wheel chair, wincing all the while. She quickly wheeled me into one of the examination rooms, Trish following in tow. My head was spinning. I'd never felt a pain like this before. I knew that was why I was so dizzy. I knew that it all could only mean one thing.

I felt arms lift me out of the chair and onto the table. I wasn't entirely sure how I got there. My navy blue sweater was pushed up by someone's hands. In a swirl of movement and voices, the image appeared on the screen. The sonogram was moving around where I had been clutching. Valentina was touching the screen, outlining something that looked unreadable. Everything was blurry and everyone seemed to understand, but me.

I was aware that I was barely conscious. I was trying so hard to focus in what they were saying. It was all a flurry of action. Valentina's face came into focus in front of mine. We were in a different room, I was on a different bed. Everything was moving. I could hear hurried beeping noises and felt air being thrust at my face.

"Ally," Valentina spoke. "I want you to understand this. Can you hear me?"

I nodded and noticed Trish keeping stride with the stretcher.

"Ally, you're having a miscarriage. It's why you've been having cramps, and shoulder pain. And it's also why you're blacking out right now," I could see her face clear as day. Her eyebrows were drawn in sorrow, mouth carved in a frown. She looked so sorry. It was etched across her features. "You're having an ectopic pregnancy and you need surgery."

I couldn't even manage to tear up. Nothing felt real anymore. I knew what had been happening but here it was... What was I supposed to do now?

"Trish!" I called out, my voice barely registering.

"Ally, I'm sorry," Trish said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Don't be, none of this is your fault!" I managed. Seeing her cry terrified me. I swallowed and took a deep breath. "Call Austin."

She nodded, standing in place as the doors closed and my world turned to black.

* * *

**AN:** Well some people are going to hate me for that... Despite the content, I hope you enjoyed that! The things I look up for this story. I'm now more of a pregnancy expert than I was before... Which isn't by much, I find pregnancy really interesting so I already know a lot about it, haha! Anyway, I kind of have a treat planned for next week. And don't you worry, Ally lives! Drop me a review!


	22. Chapter 22

**AN:** I meant to have this up on Wednesday and then another chapter today. But I've been revising A LOT and I needed to get both chapters up to my standard before posting anything! So, here is Chapter 22 it's the treat I was talking about!

Thank you for all the reviews and follows and favourites! I know the last chapter was sad but I still loved the praise for it, haha! Anyway read on and please read the important AN at the end of this chapter! Read, Review, and Enjoy:)

**Disclaimer:** So I realized that I've been forgetting this! I don't own Austin &amp; Ally. I only own this plot right here!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 22: Austin's POV

I clicked the top of my pen. It was the only thing that was keeping me sane.

Where were they?

They said they'd be gone for lunch, it was passed lunch. Both Trish and Ally were still missing. The seats behind me were empty and I didn't know what to make of it.

Had they lost track of time? Had this all been some plan to sneak away and do more secret pregnancy stuff? Or had something gone horribly wrong?

It was one of those three, I was sure of it. I was also really hoping it was the first option.

Click.

Click.

Click.

The rhythmic noise of the pen held this odd sense of comfort. It reminded me of Ally. She always clicked pens when she couldn't come up with the next part of the song. It was so cute. It was one of those little endearing details that made me love her so much. Every little habit she has is endearing.

Although this new one of omitting the truth was getting on my nerves. I should've known how dodgy she was last week. I should've clued into some form of the truth.

Where was she?

I bit my lip and clicked the pen some more. Some people had turned to find the source of the clicking. They didn't look too amused. Really, it was the only thing stopping me from running out of the room and calling Ally.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I jumped at the chance. I swiftly pulled it out hoping with all hope, that it was Ally.

Get out of class! I'm calling you in like a minute!

It was from Trish and it sent about a thousand alarm bells off in my mind.

"Mr. Fairfield," I yelled out hastily. He stopped mid lecture, hand poised in the air. "I don't feel well I gotta go."

He squinted, but before he had a chance to open his mouth, I had already grabbed my things and sprinted out. I continued to run until I got in my car. At that point I didn't care. Something was wrong.

I needed to call Trish.

"Hello?" came her shaky voice on the other end.

"Trish?"

"Hey! I said I would call you, not the other way around!" she whined. There was something about her voice that was off though. I could tell from the very first moment she answered.

I took a breath, bracing myself for whatever was about to come next. "Trish, what's going on?"

"I-" she hesitated and my heart sank.

"Trish, is Ally okay?"

"I- I don't know what to tell you, Austin."

I ran a hand over my face. Maybe being in the car wasn't the best idea. Maybe I needed some place where I could get out and hit something. Whatever this was, it wasn't good. "Trish," my voice came out feeble and weak. Much like Trish's there was something I never heard in it. "Trish, please just tell me what's happening."

I felt like I had aged fifty years. Like this situation was completely out of my hands. This wasn't something that a seventeen year old was supposed to deal with.

"Do you know how to get to the hospital?" Trish hesitantly asked.

"What?"

Hospital. Fuck. I shoved the key into the ignition and started the car.

"We're at the hospital. Don't freak out, okay?"

"When you tell someone not to freak out, they tend to freak out."

"I'll meet you in the lobby. Text me when you're here."

"Trish-" I spoke, but the line went dead. I slammed my phone into the cup holder and tried to remain calm.

There was a huge part of me that didn't think I was capable of driving this car.

I shakily put the gear shift into reverse and took off my parking break. I can do this.

My mind travelled along scenarios ranging from bad to worse as I sped through Miami. I was running red lights and risking my life, all in an attempt to get to Ally. Maybe it wasn't the best choice to be speeding to the hospital... That was probably the easiest way for me to end up there myself.

But the more my mind wandered, the faster my speed travelled. She'd lost it. I was almost 100% sure of that. I wasn't sure how it had happened, exactly. But it had happened.

Did they get attacked? Did they get into a crash? Was it something horribly drastic? Was she going to die?

A car honked and a finger was flashed next to me as I inadvertently cut someone off. Shit. I needed to focus. But every ounce of my focus was in making sure Ally was okay.

Was I really making sure she was okay by running horrible scenes through my mind?

Probably not.

I reached for the volume on the radio, hoping that could calm my frayed nerves. But music only led me to think about Ally and the horrible thoughts returned. I shakily turned the music off and drove in silence.

Whatever this is Ally, please just don't be dead.

I finally pulled into the lot for the hospital. I never really liked doctors or surgeons or anything medical, really - the building made my skin crawl. The last time I was here was when I messed up my leg. I almost lost my career from that... Not a good place for memories.

I noticed Trish's car on the main level of the parking garage and continued upwards. Why were there no spots? It can't be this busy! And if it's this busy, what if Ally's the last thing on their mind?

I sighed and backed into a tiny spot on the fourth level. I clicked off the engine and snatched my phone from the cup holder. Yanking the door open and running to down the stairs, I dialed Trish's number.

"I'm here," I said the moment she picked up.

"Didn't I tell you to text me?" she sniffed.

"Trish."

"Okay," she shifted. "I'm on my way down. Meet you in a second!"

She hung up and I realized I'd left my car wide open in my haste. No one would want my beat up old Mazda, but my laptop would probably be fair game. I ran back up those four flights of stairs and noticed I had also left my keys in the car.

God, I'm an idiot.

I entered the lobby panting, keys in pocket and cell phone in hand. Trish had just walked off an elevator and I ran to her.

"What's going on?" I breathed.

Trish looked me over - hunched and panting, eyes wide in wonder and fear. She shook her head, biting her lip. "Come on," she said, gesturing for me to follow her.

"Trish you have to tell me what's going on if you want me to follow you!" I said agitatedly, pulling her back.

"Well you're at the fucking hospital I'm sure you could take guess!"

I stared at her, taken aback. That could mean anything from a broken arm to death. But from the look on her face, I guessed it was something closer to the latter. I rolled my eyes and stormed into the awaiting elevator, slamming my hand into the button she told me to press.

"So I get to hear nothing?" I asked, staring at her reflecting in the closing metal door. "I just get to know that I'm at the hospital, and somewhere in this building is Ally?"

She sighed, casually wiping at one of her eyes. "I figured you could come in, come up to the floor, calm down, and then Ally's mom could tell you what's happening."

"I figure I'd be more calm if I hadn't just spent the last half hour wondering what the hell was going on!" I yelled as Trish pursed her lips. "Wait, did you just say Ally's mom is here? Like whatever is happening is so bad, that you called her mom?"

"I would've called her mom even if she'd just sprained her ankle or something. It's a medical problem, I'm not going to leave her in the dark."

"Yet this whole situation with her being pregnant, you kind of left that in the dark." I muttered.

"Well it wasn't my place to tell her mother that," Trish hissed.

I chuffed and shook my head. "But it was your place to tell me."

The doors opened and we stepped out before she rounded on me. I saw fire in her eyes as she wagged her finger in my direction. "Would you like to make up your mind Austin? Have me tell you or have Ally? Like, what do you want right now?"

"That's not the same thing, Trish and you know it! You overstepped your bounds by telling me that she was pregnant in the first place, but this is completely different. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea if this is life or death or what! And here you are just leaving me to wallow in my thoughts instead of confirming them!"

"Okay!" she screeched, taking a tiny step back. "So you want to know what's happening, right here and now? You want to know what you did to Ally? You want to know where she is? Well fine, I'll tell you!"

I nodded. Every ounce of my focus was going into listening and not yelling at her some more. All I wanted to know was what was going on. All I wanted to know was that Ally was safe.

The elevators dinged open again and Trish took a step back and smiled unexpectedly. I moved from where I was blocking their exit and turned around. Mrs. Dawson was standing in its wake, eyes red, worry lines drawn on her face. She had just hung up her phone and was looking at us in shock. Her gaze settled on me. There was an unreadable emotion in her eyes. Disappointment? Anger?

I looked between both women who knew what was going on and sighed. "I don't care who it is, can someone please just tell me what's happening?"

"Oh," Mrs. Dawson said, stepping out of the elevator. "You haven't told him, Trish?"

Trish flushed and Mrs. Dawson continued walking down the hall. There was no other choice but to follow her. We finally got to the waiting room, adorned in chairs of green and blue. There were many people waiting, some looking more worried than others. A sign on the wall told me that this was the General Surgery Waiting Room.

Ally was in surgery?

Mrs. Dawson sat down in one of the many chairs and offered the ones next to her for Trish and I to sit in. I slunk over to one, growing more and more concerned.

"Austin, why did you two think you were ready to do this?" Mrs. Dawson questioned.

"What?"

"To have sex. And inevitably all of this."

"Does anything really make sense when you're drunk?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. "I gather Ally never told you what happened that night."

"No," she shook her head softly. "But I wish she had. I wish she felt close enough to me that she could have open about all of this... I could have helped her deal with it all."

I looked down at my lap, wondering what this was all leading up to. "Well, we slept together and Kira kind of made her life a living hell for a while. And then I was over in a corner feeling horrible that I'd hurt Kira, that I couldn't have just had the balls to dump her a long time ago. Instead all of this happened and I wound up putting my best friend through so much pain. I promise you I never meant to do that to Ally. I wish I could just take it all back and wind up with her somehow... But now she's pregnant and that's a whole other mess."

"Well," Mrs. Dawson hesitated. "That's not entirely true."

I looked at her face. There was some sort of admiration in her eyes, but also sorrow. I knew what was about to come next. There wasn't a doubt in my mind of what was about to come out of her mouth. My last statement wasn't true. Not anymore.

"Ally lost the baby," Mrs. Dawson spoke in a low, soft voice. She looked resigned. "Something called an ectopic pregnancy. It's a lot like a miscarriage, but it's a fair bit worse. The baby - instead of growing in the uterus - grows elsewhere. In most cases it grows in the fallopian tubes, a tubal pregnancy. If it gets too big it can burst the tube which is highly dangerous."

She sighed and chewed on her hair - a nervous habit I'd only ever seen Ally do. But here Ally was, unconscious and in surgery. The only word that registered in my mind was dangerous.

Ally was in danger.

...and I could do absolutely nothing about it.

I felt my face grow hot and my vision become slightly blurred. Fear settled low in my stomach. Simultaneously, waves of sickness, anger, fear, and sadness hit me. When faced with the possible loss of the one you love, there was nothing else to do. I avoided the gazes of Trish and Mrs. Dawson and instead stared at the floor, clenching and unclenching my fists.

Please, don't die.

"The last I talked to a doctor, they told me that she was stable, but still in surgery. It was all a right place, right time scenario. They were really thankful that she was here as opposed to elsewhere. If she was anywhere else, the tube may have burst in the time it took to get here. So while she was still losing some blood from it being too large, it didn't get to the really bad part."

"She was here today?" I glanced over at Trish who had accompanied Ally in her lie today.

Mrs. Dawson nodded. "Yeah, apparently the doctor she had been going to wanted to talk to her about everything. She had an appointment today and this is what wound up happening instead."

I made a small noise of understanding, not entirely sure where to place this in the realm of knowledge. She'd lied to me again.

"You know," Mrs. Dawson said, beginning to stand up. "I should probably call your mom and tell her what's going on. I'll be right back."

She silently walked away and I stared at her retreating form. Even when she had finally turned the corner I was still staring. Staring at empty, open space.

"Austin," Trish spoke. I jumped but looked at her again. "Don't dwell on what she didn't tell you."

"I just don't understand why she keeps lying to me about this."

"It's technically omission..." Trish deadpanned. She looked down at her hands and shook her head. "Look, just don't be mad okay? Everyone lies when they're terrified and Ally was terrified."

"I never wanted her to be," I spoke dropping my hand down onto my jeans. "If she told me maybe she wouldn't have been so afraid."

"I don't know," Trish stared at me in earnest. "You do weird things when you're scared. Maybe Ally pulls away when she is. I don't know, I've never seen her this afraid, but.. I don't know. It's within reason, ya know?"

I nodded. Silence fell between us. Doctors passed in and out of the waiting area, alerting families of what had gone on behind close doors. Mrs. Dawson eventually returned, only to leave again to get something to eat. It seemed she didn't want to sit down and wallow. It wasn't something I really wanted to do either, but I couldn't bring myself to get up and leave. I couldn't bring myself to get up at all.

Trish left a few hours later as per Mrs. Dawson's request. She'd told me I should probably go home too, nothing was going to happen after all. But I still felt glued to my seat. I needed to see her. I needed to make sure she was alright.

Somehow my stoic mood turned into sleep. I woke up cramped in the tiny green chair. My legs ached and it took a moment for me to gain my bearings. Ally's mom was sitting next to me again, reading a book to ease her mind. She jumped when I first moved and gave me a wry smile.

"Austin," she said stretching out her shoulders and putting the book down on the table. "It's 5 o'clock. Ally got out of surgery about a half hour ago. She's stable, but in recovery. She's going to be on some pretty heavy medication tonight for the pain. They might actually keep her under until tomorrow morning. I'm going in to see her in a few minutes, but they're only allowing family for now. I think it's probably best if you go home. Ease your mind, get some more comfortable rest. I've called your mom; your dad dropped her off here and she'll take you back in your car. I promise the second you can come back I'll let you know, but until then, I'm sure you'd be far more comfy at home."

"Fine," I muttered.

A&amp;A

There was no talking on the way home. I barely even looked at my mother the whole drive. I could feel her gaze on me though. She'd expressed her concern when I first met her in the lobby, then again when we began driving away. I had said nothing. There wasn't much to say in the first place. I was fine, but Ally wasn't. I was leaving, but Ally wasn't.

I headed to my room once we'd pulled into the driveway. All I wanted was to wake up from what I was sure, was a nightmare.

I plopped down onto my bed. How did this even happen? How did any of this even happen?

"Ally, I'm so sorry," I mumbled into one of my pillows.

Finally, I allowed myself to cry. None of this was fair. Not to me, not to Trish, not to our parents, and certainly not to Ally. I stated out the window, clutching at any ounce of composure I had left.

Would she really want you to be crying?

I tried to stop myself. I clawed in vein at normalcy, but there was really only one thought in mind. Not only had I almost lost Ally, I had lost a child.

It wasn't fair to identify so much with that. I didn't even know the kid. They weren't even born. In my mind, it had only been alive for about three days. I'd only known this little spec of a human for three days, and even at that I didn't really know them. I still felt it like they had been alive for years, though. Here today, gone tomorrow.

None of this was fair.

Nothing with Ally and I ever seemed fair.

I loved her to pieces and I hated that this was happening. If I'm crying on my bed over something that was barely even a part of my life, how is she going to feel?

I heard a knock on the door. "Austin?"

Once again, I tried to stop myself, but it was too far gone. Through blurred eyes, I saw the stricken, empathetic look of my mom. She hurried over to my bed and began rubbing my back - something she hadn't done since I was about seven. Words of comfort were exchanged as I continued to let out everything I had.

I cried until I couldn't anymore. Until my eyes hurt and I could barely breathe through my nose. I cried until it made sense to stop. I cried until the moans became even sounds of sleeping.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

The call came at about 9 in the morning. I woke up from a dead sleep. My eyes were crusted over from the tears and my head pounded. Ironically, I almost felt hungover.

My mom popped her head into the room, making sure I was okay. My bones hurt, and my clothes were rumpled - but I could no longer cry.

"Austin," she said, advancing towards me. "That was Mrs. Dawson. She said that Ally will probably be released tomorrow, but you're welcome to come in and see her."

I jumped at the chance, pushing myself off the bed. I didn't care that I still had clothes from yesterday on. All I wanted to do was see her. I heard my mom sheepishly following - she didn't trust me to drive right now. She met me at the bottom of the stairs, pulling the keys out of our candy dish and her coat off the front chair. I glimpsed the bags under her eyes, the worry spelled out on her face. She was as worried about me, as I was about Ally.

In a spur of the moment decision, I jumped at her. My mom had silently been doing so much for me throughout this whole ordeal. Just sitting there and comforting me while I cried was enough. I held her close to me and she hugged back. I let go a few seconds later, ready to get a move on.

This drive was far less dangerous than my previous one yesterday. My mom travelled at a normal speed, knowing that now it wasn't life or death. I kept urging her to go faster. I wanted to see Ally. But she stayed at the speed limit, not wanting to get caught or risk our lives. She seemed calm, yet oddly sad. I was bouncing with pent up anxiety.

All I wanted was to see Ally.

All I wanted to do was make sure she was okay.

When we eventually arrived, I followed my mom into the lobby. She seemed to know where to go and pressed a different button on the elevator than we had the day before. Ally was now on the second floor, which was apparently a general recovery floor for conditions that were less serious. This sent an form of comfort throughout my body. They deemed whatever condition she was in, as not serious. Thank God.

My mom had texted Mrs. Dawson when we had arrived to assure that she would be outside of Ally's room to meet us. She gave a small smile and a wave when she saw us approaching. I felt nerves overcome me and I almost stopped moving. As much as I wanted to see Ally, did I really want to see her hooked up to a bunch of tubes and looking sickly?

"It's good to see you guys," Mrs. Dawson smiled.

"How've you been doing?" my mom asked, placing her hand on Mrs. Dawson's upper arm.

Mrs. Dawson looked down at the floor, she almost seemed like she was going to cry. This sent all sorts of warning signals off in my mind.

"Austin," she choked out. "Why don't you go in and see Ally. I'd like to just talk with your mom for a bit, if that's alright."

I nodded and she gestured to the room behind her. I stood in front of the forest green door for almost a minute before I was fully prepared.

She jumped when I walked in. "Austin."

Relief flooded my body. She's okay. Thank God, she's okay.

I smiled. "Hey."

There was something in the air between us. A sadness. Ally's face was impassive, her eyes were red behind the glasses that were perched on her nose. Her hair was limply splayed out on the white pillow, making her look like an angel. She was my angel with an IV in her arm. She looked better than I had expected, but it still made me miserable to see her like this.

"You didn't have to come here," she spoke.

I shook my head. "You have no idea. I needed to see you."

Her lips quirked slightly and some colour rose to her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

I rushed over to her side, eager to tell her that she had nothing to be sorry for. Tears began to fall down her cheeks and she opened her arms to me. I took the invitation and climbed onto her bed. She curled into me, wincing slightly at the movement.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled again.

"Stop," I said. "Don't be. You couldn't have stopped this. None of it is your fault."

"Im still sorry for everything," she sobbed into my chest. I had taken her glasses off and place them on the table.

"Shh, Ally, it's okay."

I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. I tried to comfort her just like my mom had comforted me.

"It's not," she whispered. "I can't believe any of this happened. I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath and cradled her head against my chest. "It's okay. I promise you, you're okay."

She nodded and stopped apologizing. I knew she was still sorry, but she didn't want to say it. There was only one thing to be sorry for, but I knew that wasn't why she was apologizing. She thought this whole situation was her fault - which it wasn't, she had no control over it - but all I wanted was some regret over her lying.

Ally sighed and moved slightly away from me. She squinted up at my face, gently kissed my lips, and smiled. "You know you really didn't have to come, but thank you for being here."

"Yeah," I said. "You know I'd be here for you no matter what."

I truly did mean what I said, but the words came out hollow. Ally's face registered that.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," I replied. "I've just been worried about you."

She nodded and looked down. What was wrong with me? I've been spending hours worrying and crying over Ally, but here I am, and I'm.. Angry?

I let out a deep breath and detangled myself from her. If I spent too long in here, I knew I'd blow up. I have no idea why, but I knew it would happen. It terrified me that I felt that way.

I stood next to her bed and smiled, squeezing her hand. "Get some rest, okay?"

"Austin, you don't have to leave so soon," she said, almost willing me to stay.

"You need to sleep," I said, edging away from the bed. "I love you. I'll see you soon."

She gave me a small, sad smile and waved slightly. I turned away and walked into the hallway. My mom saw me when I walked out and immediately stood up.

"Done so soon?" she asked when I reached her and Mrs. Dawson. They looked like they had been deep in conversation, Mrs Dawson casually wiping at her eyes.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

Mrs. Dawson looked me up and down. I'm not sure what she saw in me or what I even looked like. "Austin, whatever you're feeling right now is completely normal. I know that you may be hurt, just as Ally is hurting too. But if you feel you need to separate yourself from the situation right now, that's probably the best call. It's great that you came here in the first place, I know how much you love her and how much she loves you. If it helps, you were the first thing on her mind when this happened. Trish told me that the moment she was being pulled away, you were the only thing on her mind."

I nodded, trying to understand what I was feeling right now. "Thank you."

My mother put her hand on my back as goodbyes were exchanged. I took one last look at Ally's room and tried to find a strain of calm.

Whatever's going on right now, I just hope Ally knows I love her.

* * *

**AN:** How do we feel about this, good or bad? Personally, I kind of like it! I hope you liked Austin's perspective! Anyway I've been rushing around today getting clothes, packing, getting gas in my car! I almost forgot to post, haha!

But anyway you can probably tell that means I'm going away! Which also means I can't post next Saturday! I've updated my profile to get that message out there, so if you're unsure just check there!

See ya in two weeks! (Wow that'll be August, won't it?) Drop me a review! :)


	23. Chapter 23

**AN:** So I'm up, sitting on the beach thinking 'God, wouldn't a summer romance be awesome?' You know, like the ones where you meet the guy up there and go swimming and kiss under the stars by the water? Haha, so maybe I'm a romantic and a little delusional... The second I thought that my boyfriend comes and sits down beside me and I'm like 'Oh yeah, I kind of already have that...'

I have my moments sometimes... That was completely irrelevant to this chapter. Anyway thank you for reviews, favourites, and follows; I saw them when I got back! I loved that you guys all liked Austin's POV:) I also had a whole lot of nothing to do on vacation (which was awesome and relaxing) but it equaled a ton of writing! So I'm not announcing anything yet, but next week I may have a tiny announcement:P

I'm in a particularly sad part of the story, but it comes back up within the next few chapters. Twists and turns people, twists and turns! Read, Review, and Enjoy:)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 23: Ally's POV

I stared at the white washed walls in my hospital room. I couldn't understand how anyone could spend an extended amount of time here. It was so plain, so barren. It really gave you time to think. But that was honestly the last thing I wanted to do right now.

I didn't want to think about what had just happened with Austin or the reason why I was lying in this bed. More than anything I wanted to go home.

The door clicked open. I half expected Austin to come back in and tell me everything was okay again, but that was not the case. My mom ducked in, bowing her head slightly.

"You've been crying," I stated.

She blinked and pulled a chair up next to my bed. "So have you."

I swallowed. It's not like she was wrong. I looked away from her and back to the bricked white walls.

Please, don't ask me what happened.

I didn't even want to look at her, let alone talk about all of this. Every time I saw her face, it just looked like this frazzled woman who slightly resembled my mom. There was sadness and disappointment in her eyes and I hated being the one who had caused that. I saw it in Austin too. He looked so worried and so desolate. Guilt plagued me to the core for making everyone feel this way. I had made their faces turn into permanent frowns and I couldn't forgive myself for this.

"Ally," my mom spoke and my eyes jumped to hers. "Talk. You look like you're eating yourself up."

I was. But I couldn't tell her that, that would only make her feel worse. I didn't want her to be even more disappointed in me than she already was.

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

She shook her head and scoffed, reaching for my left hand. "No. No you aren't, honey. You can tell me that. You need to be honest with me about all of this."

"I'm fine, really."

I turned away from her once more and heard a sigh. I was undeniably close to losing it again. If I spoke I knew I wouldn't ever stop crying. And if I started to cry, I knew that my mom would start crying. I didn't want to cause her anymore pain than she was already in, let alone myself. Not thinking about it was the best route at the moment, so that's what I was doing.

"Okay, look," she spoke, agitation creeping into her voice. "I've given you all the space in the world, Ally. I let you talk to Austin before you did to me. I didn't ask a thing. I didn't question any of this. I've just been sitting here in the dark silently dealing with the fact that my daughter not only had sex, but she got pregnant from that encounter - then subsequently lost the baby. I've been sitting here for the past day trying to understand how all of this is happening and all I'm getting is little tidbits from Austin and Trish. It's time to open up."

"I- I can't," I stumbled.

This was a mess. Everything was a mess. I couldn't have her involved in my mess.

"Ally, why don't you trust me enough to talk to me?"

I met my mom's gaze. Her eyes were glassy, weary behind glasses much like my own. Her hair was pulled back into a frazzled ponytail, pieces pouring out and over the lines of her drawn face. There was an unbearable amount of worry on her features. I can't believe I did this.

"I'm so sorry," I cried. Tears streamed down my cheeks for the umpteenth time that day. I cried when I woke up, I cried when they told me what had happened, I cried when Austin came in, and now again with my mother - I cried.

Her face broke, tears spilling from her already puffy eyes. "Oh God, Ally stop. Please, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to talk to me. I just want you to tell me what's going on with you."

"Everything's a mess, that's what's happening!" I moaned, bunching my hands in the fleece fabric of my blanket.

"Oh honey, that's life!" my mom laughed sadly, pulling a piece of hair away from my face. "Let me be a part of your mess."

I shook my head. "I slept with Austin. That's where all of this shit started."

She closed her eyes, relief flooding over her features. At least I'd said something.

"You know," she gave me a wry smile. "I've never heard you say shit, but I guess that's a good place to start."

I took a deep breath and let it out. I told her everything from the start to what brought me to this moment. As I spoke her face grew increasingly guilt ridden, which only made me feel worse. Everything in the past month and a half seemed like the lowest point I had ever been in my life. It terrified me that I was actually here. That everything had led me to pouring my heart out in a hospital room.

"Al," my mom stopped me when I began explaining the happenings of yesterday. "That's a lot for you to deal with on your own."

"I know," I sighed. "I feel awful for putting Trish through all of that. I owe her everything."

"You could have told me."

"I know," my voice wavered, the choking cries threatened me again. "I just didn't want you to look at me like you are right now."

She tilted her head to the side and smiled sadly. "I'm only looking at you like this because I hate that you had to go through this on your own. From the start, this is something so completely out of your element. I wish you would have told me. I wish I could have been of some help to you."

I looked down at my hands and sighed. "Well now you know. I don't know what you're going to do with it but, now you know."

"I'm going to try and help you through this next stage. If you'll let me?"

I nodded and bit my lip. I didn't want to be this girl. That's all I had left. I was this girl. This girl who cried over the simplest of things, this girl who was still known as a whore at school, this girl who couldn't figure out how to tell her boyfriend she was pregnant, this girl who kept to herself, this girl who lost a baby, this girl who kept her mother in the dark.

I'm a horrible person.

I buried my head in my hands, curling up into the fetal position with outcry from my new scar. My right side ached as much as my heart did. There was a hole where my baby - and right fallopian tube - used to be. I had done this.

"Ally, sweetie, you can't beat yourself up over this. Talk to me, what are you feeling?"

"I did this," I mumbled, through clenched teeth. "I killed my baby."

"Oh honey, no," I felt my mom's hands on my back, rubbing gently. "No you didn't. There's nothing you could have done differently. Women have miscarriages all the time, it's not your fault."

I laughed mirthfully. "So you're saying it's the other women's faults?"

"No, I'm just saying there's nothing you did or could have done."

"Maybe if I actually wanted this, it would have happened differently," the words sat in the room for a moment. My mom was close to answering before I interrupted. "I'm such a horrible person. I don't even want my own baby."

I heard my mom take a long deep breath before responding. "No, you're just seventeen, Al. I can assure you that no seventeen year old would be ecstatic to have a child. Don't eat yourself up over that either. Anyone in your shoes would be feeling this way. You feel guilty that you lost it, but also relieved that it's gone - which makes you feel even more guilty that you didn't want it and somehow you got that."

Bingo.

That was exactly it. I felt that my body had failed me in the most basic and extraordinary thing that I was supposed to be able to do. I felt that I had failed this child who was no longer going anywhere or was even alive. I felt so incredibly relieved that it was over though.

That's what was killing me. The fact that I should be miserable that I lost a child, but I'm really anxiety free. I'm a horrible, terrible person. There are so many people who want children then lose them and here I am, happy at that exact process. Which isn't entirely true, I'm not by any means happy, it's just I didn't expect it to feel this good.

God, I'm a miserable excuse for a human being.

How can I be happy about losing a child? Oh my God, I lost a child. How am I such a failure that I lost a child?

My thoughts spiraled in different circles of guilt. I failed. I lost it. I'm relieved. I'm an idiot. I can't believe this. I hate this. My mom must hate me. Trish must hate me.

Austin hates me. After everything I put him through, there's no other emotion he could feel for me.

"Austin hates me," I said.

"What?" my mom asked, shock in her voice. I wasn't sure whether she was shocked over the content of my statement or because I hadn't spoken in a while.

"I'm sure of it," I peaked out of my fort of blankets to see my mom smirking. "Austin must hate me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because of all of this," I gestured around me. "I put him through a lot of hell. I almost cost him his career. I made a lot of people hate him. I didn't even tell him I was pregnant, Trish did it instead. I toyed with him because here I am now, not pregnant. I kept things from him because I was so afraid. I love him with all my heart and now he hates me."

"None of that would make him hate you, sweetie."

I shook my head, tears brimming in my eyes. I was going to dehydrate myself soon. "I could see it in his eyes today. He was so pissed off, he just wouldn't tell me. He hates me."

My mom smoothed out my hair, smiling gently, laugh lines around her eyes. "He's your number one fan, Ally. He came here yesterday as soon as he knew what was going on. He stayed until I forced him to go home and came in first thing today - with the same clothes that he had on the day before, might I add. Mrs. Moon was telling me that he didn't sleep well and that he was a mess worrying over you. He's in love with you."

She paused letting me digest all of this. "I don't understand."

"If he's angry, he's allowed to be. You're angry yourself. You guys have been thrown for a loop and need to find your footing somehow. That'll take time. I have no idea how long, but I know that he'll wait. No one here is mad at you, Ally - least of all Austin. Everyone just wants what's best for you. If Austin was angry today, then it's good he got out of here right? He came in and saw you, that's all that matters. He couldn't handle something and he removed himself, that's definitely for the best. He'll be back, I promise you that."

"After all of this, why would anyone come back?"

Her eyes creased and she pouted. "You're still the same old Ally I've known and raised. You got yourself into a pickle, but that doesn't mean you can't get out. It also doesn't mean that anyone loves you any less. We're all here for you 110%. Anything you need. Just remember that we do love you, and you're of no less worth now. You're worth every cent I paid."

She laughed and I smirked slightly. I still didn't get it. How could anyone even remotely like me after I failed this badly?

"I will build you up as much as you need. What do I need to tell you?"

"I don't know," I closed my eyes. "Why does it have to hurt so bad?"

My mom grabbed both of my hands and clasped them together in hers. "It's a loss, honey. It's going to hurt. I'm so sorry that you've had to hurt for so long. Promise me that if ever you're going through turmoil again, you'll tell me. Promise me that you won't pull away."

"I'll try," I said. "I just don't know how I'm supposed to react to this."

"I'll tell you what I told Austin earlier this morning. Whatever you're feeling right now is completely normal. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to yell, then yell. If you want to smile, then smile. If you want to sleep, then sleep. If you want to talk, then talk. You need to do whatever helps you process what's happened. Just know that we're all here for you, whatever you need." she smiled at me and I returned the gesture. She squeezed my hands and I squeezed back.

"Okay."

"So what do you want to do?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"What do you want to tell your dad?"

"What have you told him?"

She pushed away from my bed and pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Basically I called yesterday and told him you were in the hospital. I wasn't entirely clear what was happening, so I didn't outright lie. He ditched the business trip early and got the next ticket back from New York. He should be here fairly soon."

"So he doesn't know?"

"Do you want him to?" she asked, pulling up the text messages on her phone. "I was just about to text him."

"I wouldn't tell him what happened on there!" I said, wide eyed.

She laughed. "I just meant when he gets here. I'm texting to see where he is now."

"Oh," I glanced over at the only source of colour in this room. My dark green door. Did I really want him to know about this? My mom and I just had this whole discussion about honesty, and she was now asking if I wanted to lie to my father. I kind of understood why she asked though. Would I be able to deal with this if he knew? I knew that he'd be even more disappointed in me than my mom was... He'd be angry. Not only angry, he'd probably want to kill Austin.

"I was thinking that because of where your scar lines up - if you didn't want to tell him - then we could say it was appendicitis. I mean the scar is just a little lower than if it were that, but it was laparoscopic surgery and it's on the right side; I think he'll overlook that."

"So you've already got this all planned out?" I asked.

"There is a lot of time to think when you're alone at the hospital. I was just wondering, would it be easier for you this way?" she asked me, having sent her message to my dad.

I nodded. "I think I could deal with this better if he didn't know. I just don't want to complicate things more with him and I don't want to give Austin yet another reason to hate me."

My mom shook her head and giggled. "Austin doesn't hate you. He loves you, okay? Just don't pull away from him. You both need each other more than anything right now."

"Yeah," I muttered. I was already terrified to see him again. There was such distance in his eyes when he left this morning. I didn't ever want to see that again. If that's what this whole situation caused, I hardly wanted to deal with it. I wanted to go back in time, but that was a little impossible.

I sighed and chipped at some leftover nail polish on my fingers. I hope people can still like me after this. I hope Austin can still love me, still want me.

In spite of all my failures, I hope I'm still the same.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN:** I've decided to let you guys in on my little announcement! For the final portion of my story, I will finally be posting bi-weekly(twice weekly)! I'm sticking with Saturday, but also adding Wednesday into the mix. This means that everything will be all wrapped up by August 30th. But don't worry, that won't be the last you hear from me:)

Now, actually about this chapter and the last! Again, thanks for the love! I love the reviews so keep 'em coming:) Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Bonus points if you get the Frozen and Friends references!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 24: Ally's POV

There comes a time when sitting at home really just gets boring. Sitting in the white washed walls of the hospital had become boring even after a day. Not just boring, infuriating. I'd been left alone with my thoughts at a time when I'd really rather be thinking about anything else.

Coming home was no picnic either. I retreated to my bedroom Friday afternoon, my mom peaking in on me every so often. I neglected to look at my phone, or answer anything of the sort. I didn't want to see more people with more looks of pity on their face. The only place that I was safe, was at home. With my dad thinking I'd only had appendicitis, he just cared about my well-being. He didn't have any of the emotions that came along with someone losing a child. A part of me loved that he was oblivious. That he came in, asked me questions, made sure I was okay, and still smiled like I was his little girl. I hadn't broken our relationship by what had happened and I was perfectly fine with that. I loved having this time where I could pretend that I was just sick, instead of broken.

But sometimes, even the best of moments have to stop.

He was the only person I could do this with, everyone else knew my truth. Everyone else knew how incredibly guilty I felt. Everyone else could probably guess I was crying myself to sleep. That I desperately wished I wasn't such a failure. Everyone else could probably tell that whenever I went into the washroom and saw that scar, I was instantly reminded of my misdoings.

My life had turned to shambles and I needed some form of normalcy. This was in part, a huge contributor in my decision to go back to school. Throwing myself back into normal life seemed like the thing to do. My mom protested, trying to convince me that it was the last week before Christmas, that I wouldn't be missing anything. But, that wasn't why I wanted to go back. I just needed something.

The doctors had informed us that I could go back to my normal life whenever I felt I was ready. That was my argument. Because of course I wouldn't be doing anything extreme. It's not like I was running a marathon or I was about to go have sex again. All I wanted was to go to school. All I wanted was a situation that someone who is seventeen should actually be dealing with. Going back to school seemed like a good first step.

After considerable discussions with the doctors, my mom finally agreed to let me go at least for a half day. They assured her that if I felt up to it, then it was probably time. I knew she had only let up when she realized it was one of those things I had to do. A coping mechanism, maybe. But I really did need to go back.

This led me to waking up bright and early on Monday morning, only to be reminded of my current situation. The doctors had informed us that it would take a while for my body to regulate itself - hormonally, emotionally, chemically, and physically. Meaning, at least for a little while, I would be confronted with some nausea in the mornings. While I didn't feel like I could throw up, I still felt my stomach churning and unsteadiness on my feet.

I powered through, heading into the washroom and turning on my phone for the first time since Wednesday. Going off the grid so that I could mourn felt good, seeing how many people texted and cared about me felt even better. DiDi, Trish, Dez, Genevieve - a girl I had been partners with in History once, my cousin Simon, my Aunt Kristin, and Austin had all texted me. They all had varying degrees of knowledge on what had happened, but they were all equally concerned.

'Hey, Dez told me something was up with you... Are you alright?' came a text from Didi.

'Yay, you're back home!', 'When can I come visit you?', 'Your mom told me you're playing solo for now, don't do it for long!', 'I miss you..', 'Please don't shut me out again! Please don't slam the door! You don't have to keep your distance anymore!', 'Whenever you want to talk, I'm here!' all came from Trish. They made me smile both with how much she cared, and the zaniness of my best friend.

'Is something wrong? Something's wrong with Austin.', and 'Austin told me you were in the hospital. WHAT'S HAPPENING?' were obviously Dez. I had a feeling that he thought the Zalien's had been up to something.

'Hey Ally! You've been gone the past couple of days, are you okay?' Genevieve's text was simple but friendly. It filled me with an odd sense of pride that someone cared that much to notice I was gone.

'You alright? I overheard my mom talking to yours on the phone, sounded like an accident? You're okay though, right?' Simon's text was also sweet. It made me curious as to what my mom had told Aunt Kristin though.

'I was going to call, though I figured you might not want to talk just yet.' the text began. 'Your mother called me and told me what had happened on Wednesday. It's a horrible thing, darling, trust me I know. I've been through this myself. That's the only reason your mom told me what was up. She wanted to give you a leg to stand on if you needed it. Call me anytime.' I was touched. I couldn't believe what she was offering me, it was amazingly generous. This little bit of support made me feel like I could do this, like I didn't have to be so afraid. Like I didn't have to cry myself to sleep anymore.

And then came Austin's.

I was so scared to open them. I didn't want to go into that folder and see something bad. I was still so convinced that he hated me. What else could he say?

'Al, I love you', 'Can I come over sometime? We need to talk.', 'I hope you're okay. I'm okay.', 'I still love you.', 'I really think we should talk.', 'Are you ignoring me?', 'Called your house, your mom says you want to be alone. Do you want to be alone with me?', 'When you see all of this, just remember I'm not crazy, I'm just in love.'

I laughed. He was cute. Unimaginably cute. There was no part of me that could understand why he still loved me. It baffled me that he wasn't just walking away.

I quickly typed in 'thanks' and 'fines' to different people. I was fine, wasn't I? I hesitated at Austin's menagerie of texts. Eventually, I settled on a simple: 'I'm coming to school today. I'll see you then:)'

Smiley faces make everything.

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go?" my mom asked, having just parked in front of the school.

I watched the throng of people flooding in and felt oddly self conscious. I smoothed my hands against the navy blue fabric of my simple flowy dress. I could just see the tips of my knees as I sat in the passenger seat. There were raised bumps on my legs. I was cold and scared. As much as I wanted to face school and regain that normalcy, a sneaking fear in the back of my mind wondered if anyone knew. I was coming back a changed woman, what if they could see that?

I chewed on my hair and adjusted my glasses, attempting to seem put together in spite of everything. Nervous and slightly nauseas, is not a good mix.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging into a black hoodie. "I'll be fine, I promise."

"Okay, but call me if you need anything at all!"

I shifted out of the car and winced. My mom raised her eyebrows. "I'm fine. I won't need anything!"

I slammed the door shut and waved, making sure she drove away. I sighed and slung my messenger bag over my shoulder. There seemed to be an odd sort of hush over the school. No one really seemed to be talking, or even hanging around outside. Everyone was just quickly filing inside.

It struck me as odd, but maybe I was later than I had first thought. I glanced down at my phone. It was barely 8 o'clock, people still had about fifteen minutes to get here. Why was everyone in such a rush?

"Ally!" Trish said, suddenly appearing before me. "I didn't think you were going to come in today."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Uhhh," she hesitated. "No. I just didn't know if you were skipping again."

"Medical leave isn't exactly skipping."

"Yeah, but like isn't this cutting it pretty close to when you were in the hospital?" she hissed.

"I need something normal and they said I could go back when I felt up to it. I feel up to it." I said with a narrow of my eyes.

I began walking towards the school, still seeing a flurry of people flooding inside. They still were just glancing at each other, shaking their heads imperceptibly. It wasn't until I got a bit closer that I realized they were whispering.

Shit. It's gossip.

"Ally, wait!" Trish said, stepping in front of me once more. "Theres something that you shouldn't see in there."

"What?" I asked, titling my head slightly.

She scuffed her foot on the ground. "I got your text and I came out to greet you. I hoped that you wouldn't actually show up..."

I blinked profusely for a few beats of a minute, trying to understand what she meant. "Why not?"

"There's more messages on the bulletin board. It just doesn't end which Kira."

"What?" I managed. I was losing my grip. This was apparently my little shade of normalcy.

I started up the stairs, noticing that people were stopping their hushed conversations to gape at me. What had I done to Kira this time? I walked in through the doors to more faces of shock. They turned to stare at me and I had flashbacks to the first time this had happened. I almost stopped dead, stage fright getting the better of me. There were too many eyes on me. Too many curious and furious stares.

Finally, I found my way to the bulletin board. There were pictures and notes scattered across it, all flourished in red cursive writing.

'Ally,

I know your secret. I know what you've been trying to hide these past few weeks and what you finally got rid of. I thought, maybe, everyone else should know too.

An abortion, honey? Really? If I were you I would have kept Austin Moon's child. It could have made you a ton of money.

But no, you chose to end a life instead.

Shame.'

I stared down at the piece of paper. What the fuck? I looked up and saw pictures of Trish and I at the hospital from last Wednesday. You could clearly see we were on the maternity floor. You could also see that I was visibly upset. All of it fit. The story that Kira had fabricated for my demise made sense when you looked at all the evidence.

Why would I be on the maternity floor otherwise? Why would I look so upset? Why would I have been away from school? Why would I be staring at this, looking so hurt otherwise?

I closed my eyes and felt the paper slip from my hands. A tentative touch came to my upper arm, it pulled me away from the judgmental stares and scathing note. I walked with my eyes closed, being guided by who I was sure was Trish. I heard the squeak of the heavy bathroom door.

I opened my eyes to see Trish checking the stalls. No one was in here. She hurried back to the general door and locked it so that - for the time being - people stayed out.

"What the hell was that?" I hissed.

"You're asking me to understand Kira Starr's mind? I can't do that, she's fucking crazy!" Trish replied. She shrugged, trying to calm me down. I picked the wrong day to come back.

I sighed and bit my lip. "I'm trying so hard not to just break already, Trish. This doesn't help. This is insane. Does she know that what she does has an effect on people? Does she know she can't just make shit up to hurt people? Who the hell does this?"

"She's doing it for attention," Trish supplied, rollin her eyes. "She's pissed that you actually have Austin and she doesn't. She just wants people to feel bad for her, because if she didn't make this huge stink no one would give a shit!"

"She's such a sadist," I mumbled, feeling the tears brimming in my eyes. "She's actually taking pleasure in bringing me pain."

Trish twisted a curl around one of her fingers and took a tentative step towards me. "How are you doing, by the way?"

I shook my head and laughed. "Oh perfect," I angrily wiped at my eyes and let out another mirthful snicker. "I'm just fucking perfect. I'm absolutely awesome. I mean, not only am I a total failure at keeping a child in my body - the most basic thing I should be able to do - I also have a whole school thinking that I aborted it. Which is perfect. It's just so perfect."

She looked at me puzzled, as though she didn't know how to respond next. "I'm sorry," she finally settled on.

I could tell she genuinely meant it. It was quite a change. For the past few days I had been the one apologizing. I wasn't entirely sure what I was apologizing for, but I was. Profusely.

"Why?" I asked. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry Kira's such a bitch. I'm sorry I can't be of more help."

I shook my head. "You're plenty of help. I'm sorry I got you involved in any of this."

"Don't be, that's what friends are for, right? There for you when the rain starts to pour?" she smiled.

I laughed. "Thank you," I said and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me back, squeezing tightly for a moment before letting go. When we broke apart reality came crashing back. "When did my life decide to turn out this way?"

"I guess that night you decided to sleep with someone who was in a relationship."

I sighed as she smirked. "I'm pretty sure Austin hates me now."

"You're kidding me, right? He's so obsessed with you. He tried to go to your house five times this weekend but each time your mom said you just wanted to be alone. If anything, he probably thinks you hate him."

I didn't. Far from that, actually. I just couldn't face seeing him looking as broken as I did. I wouldn't be able to face seeing hatred in his eyes. That was my biggest fear. That was part of my seclusion.

I nodded, processing everything. A part of me wanted to go home, go against everything I had said and just leave. But I knew that wouldn't solve anything. It was exactly like the first time Kira had attacked me, going home solved nothing. It only made it harder for me to come back.

Maybe if I posted my story to the bulletin board...

The bell rang, the announcements passed, and I still stayed lost in thought. It wasn't until a loud beep came over the intercom that my head snapped towards the bathroom speaker.

"Sorry for the interruption," Mrs. Vanderhouse, the school's principal spoke. "But, could Kira Starr, Austin Moon, and Ally Dawson please come down to the office."

Well shit.

* * *

**AN: **Getting back to the underlying plot! Kira's causing shit again, oh my! See you on Wednesday! Drop me a review:)


	25. Chapter 25

**AN:** Welcome to Wednesday :)

You guys are awesome with your reviews and follows and favourites! Like it's almost the end and you're still on this journey with me. Thank you! And while we're at it, I can't believe how close I am to the end now! Raise your hand if you thought I'd get this far. Haha, not me!

But I'm so glad I did get here because it's inspired me to write so much more! Read, Review, and Enjoy! :)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 25: Ally's POV

I stared open mouthed at Trish. How did they even know I was here?

"Are you going to go down?" Trish asked.

"I guess I have to, right?" I stated, turning towards the door.

I unlocked it and hoisted the heavy door open, leaving Trish behind. Class had just begun but there was no one in the halls. Everyone had scurried away quickly, not wanting to be caught up in this mess. I made my way to the front foyer, across from the office. I glanced at the papers scattered on the bulletin board and snatched them, balling them up and throwing them in the trash.

I turned around, only to be confronted by Austin.

"Hey," he said, bridging the distance between us. "I see that you saw the latest news."

I scoffed. "Yeah, it's great."

He scuffed his foot on the ground awkwardly. The air was thick and heavy, a warning of what was to come.

"We should go," he mumbled. I nodded and followed behind him. The secretary had been waiting for us. With a frown, she gestured towards Principal Vanderhouse's office. Austin knocked lightly on her door before opening it.

Kira sat perfectly poised in the centre chair. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek high ponytail, hands clasped together in the lap of her coral thigh length dress. Her lips were pursed and she was leaning slightly forward, ready for a fight.

Austin pulled back the chair to Kira's right and I headed to the left. I settled down, trying to find a position that didn't leave me in pain. Kira shifted slightly, folding her leg over the other. Even through her best efforts, she still looked uncomfortable.

We all sat there, unmoving, and silent for what seemed like hours. The air seemed even heavier than what it was back in the hallway. My nerves continued to grow. I fiddled with my thumbs and tried to remain calm. The breathing exercises Valentina suggested came to mind, but they only made me freak out more.

I'd never been called down to the principal's office and I had this sneaking suspicion that this was not going to be a pleasant meeting.

The door snapped open, and powerful clicks of heels stormed into the room. Principal Vanderhouse looked severe, hair in a bun, shoulders pointed from the blazer. Her face was trained in a permanent scowl, one that matched what was on Kira's face. No one in this room wanted to be here.

I hadn't heard many good things about our principal. Everyone had always said she was a bitter, sad woman. The rumours had gone around about her, saying she had been divorced four times and was now a single mother of two. Something told me that if those rumours were true, she wouldn't take too lightly to Kira's new story.

I searched around her desk, looking for any family pictures. There were two small frames with what seemed to be school pictures of two little blonde children. They were young and my heart ached. I could have had a miniature Austin, had I not been such a failure. I stared down at the ground, avoiding the pictures in an attempt to stop myself from crying.

I felt Austin's gaze on me and looked up to see his worried eyes. "I'm fine," I mouthed to him.

Principal Vanderhouse sighed and sunk into her black leather office chair. She folded her hands on her desk and stared at the three of us.

"So would anyone care to explain what's going on here?" she asked, a slight country lilt to her voice.

I figured my explanation wouldn't be the best in this case. Everyone already knew that Kira was a dick. But no one else spoke either, the three of us just stayed blinking at the principal.

She awaited our response, but none came. Eventually she rolled her eyes and pulled out a few sheets of paper. It took me a few moments to realize that they were pictures of the board and the notes that had accompanied them. Kira had a triumphant glow about her.

"So," Principal Vanderhouse said, spreading out the sheets. It felt like we were being interrogated. "We have three notes here, and three wrongdoings. What is the explanation?"

I scanned over the pictures of the boards. It was a little disheartening to know that my bra was on file.

"With all due respect," Austin said, confusion spelled plainly out on his face. "Why didn't you call people down the first time this happened?"

"I like to give people three chances to behave. On the third occasion you're in here."

He nodded and made a tiny noise of recognition, but again, no one explained. Kira sat with an ever present smirk, Austin held an air of annoyance, and I was trying hard not to burst out in some crazy fit of laughter or sobs.

"Alright, let's start with the first one then. From what I understand, Austin," she gestured to him. "Cheated on you, Kira," another gesture. "At a party. Now Austin, you're the first contestant on name what you did wrong!"

He blinked. "Okay..."

"And what was that?"

"I've already dealt with this and admitted my wrong, it's a little passé to be dealing with it now."

Kira scoffed as if she wanted another apology. "Can you co-operate for once?" she hissed.

I rolled my eyes and Austin shook his head almost imperceptibly. Kira had her eyebrows raised, ready for him to 'play the game'.

"Austin?" Principal Vanderhouse said.

"Well you've already said it," he crossed his arms. I could tell that there was no signs of amusement on his face. After everything that had happened, this was not a good next step. "I cheated on Kira."

"Mhmm," Kira nodded emphatically, eyes dark.

Principal Vanderhouse smiled. "Exactly. I take it there have been some apologies exchanged? Formally though, if you'd like to express that be my guest."

Principal Vanderhouse and Kira looked at Austin expectantly. I knew he wouldn't do it. His attitude in this particular moment already spelled that out, but he was stubborn. If he didn't want to do this, no body could make him.

He stared at the two of them for a few beats of a minute, calculating. "So you're asking me to apologize to Kira, despite the fact that she made Ally's life a living hell, and is still doing exactly that?"

Kira's mouth gaped open. Did she really expect him to just bend over? He was angry at her. Any chance she might have had with him was spoiled when she started attacking me.

"That's a different story," Principal Vanderhouse shifted to the next note and picture. "Kira, you're the next contestant!"

"Excuse me?" she said, genuinely offended. Her eyes were wide in shock, as if she truly thought she'd done nothing wrong.

"These notes," the principal gestured. "They're a bit much, don't you think?"

"They're the truth," Kira stated definitively, pointing a finger down on the pages. "I just wanted people to know exactly what was going on."

"You're kidding, right?" Austin hissed, ready to pounce.

"Oh, I never kid," Kira said, puffing up her ponytail. "You should know that, shouldn't you?"

Austin rolled his eyes and Principal Vanderhouse looked like she was about to jump in. "Okay.." she hesitated. "Kira, I think you owe an apology to Ally."

Kira turned her head towards me, a nasty smirk on her lips. "I'm very sorry, Ally," she said snidely.

"Good enough," Principal Vanderhouse spoke. "Now, Ally. I think you owe an apology to yourself. How you've handled this situation is entirely wrong."

"What?" Austin and I said at the same time.

She pointed to the third set of pictures. The ones that had been taken on Wednesday. The ones with tears streaming down my face. "I'm talking about this. There's other ways to deal with pregnancy when you're young apart from aborting a child."

"I - I... No, you don't understand," I stuttered.

Kira smiled, as Principal Vanderhouse shook her head sadly. She placed the photos of her children face down, as if I might kill them too.

"Principal Vanderhouse," Austin began. "That didn't happen. Kira's just making it-"

"Enough," the principal spoke. "Enough. Can we just agree that whatever is going on between the three of you, that you can keep it between yourselves? No more of this wall business. Now, out and back to class! Let this be a warning for all of you, one more strike and you're facing suspension."

We all nodded and she ushered us out into the hallway. My stomach muscles were aching from sitting in that chair for too long. I winced when I got up, and winced again as we began walking. I had every intention of going back to class - maybe even talking to Austin for a bit - but that's not how anything ever works out.

I headed for the stairs, but felt a hand on my wrist. I whipped around at its pull, feeling a head rush and a sting on my right side. Clutching the area where my new scar was, I cried out and came face to face with Kira. This was the first time she had confronted me and I was surprised it hadn't happened sooner.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Kira asked.

"What?"

She scoffed. "God, I know you're not that stupid. Come on, Ally, aren't you just so happy now? Everything's coming up for you!"

I stared at her, unblinking, unmoving. Who did I think I was? Who does she think she is? What does she think she's doing, attacking me? I tried to think of something to say, knowing that if I spoke it would either come out as some angry rant, or a sad, messy sob.

"Kira," Austin sighed. "That's enough. Get over yourself and realize that this happened almost two months ago. You don't need to bring this up every time you feel you need attention."

She rolled her eyes and turned on Austin. "You really think I'm doing this for attention? Maybe you should get over yourself. I mean, isn't your whole life about getting attention?"

"There's a difference between shaming someone for something they didn't even do, and attempting to become famous." Austin hissed.

"And how do all your little followers feel about this?"

Austin glared at her. It was true that he'd gained a few enemies from this whole ordeal. Lots of 'Team Austin' fans had been really disappointed that their role model had cheated on his girlfriend. It was something that had made him really upset at first. But he'd come to the realization that he couldn't please everybody, and this was something everyone just had to get over. Most of this had blown over by now in the Austin fandom world, but I wasn't so sure Kira was letting it go. I understood how hurt she must have been, but in continuing to berate me for this, she must be hurting herself all over again. I was starting to really hate her.

If I was being honest, there was a part of me that hated Austin for this. If he hadn't had such a following at school and around the country I wouldn't be under this much stress. If he wasn't dead set on becoming famous, I wouldn't feel so obsolete. I wouldn't have the hate of thousands of people on my shoulders.

"Kira, just stop," Austin said meekly. He didn't want to get into this. All he wanted was this whole mess to just blow over. It was all either of us wanted. It seemed once we thought it was over, a new chapter began.

"No!" Kira shrieked. "You don't seem to understand that you're hurting people!"

"And what're you doing?" he asked defensively. Whenever the conversation strayed remotely close to me, he immediately jumped on the defensive.

"I'm letting people know what actually happened, because if it was up to you, it would all be covered over!"

He sniggered and looked at her as though she was an idiot. "How is any of this the truth? What you put up on that board today, how is that remotely true?"

"Well what do you think she was doing at the hospital on the pregnancy floor?"

"How the hell did you even get those pictures anyway?"

Kira flushed and looked down at the ground. Her perfectly poised, manicured fingers were clenched in fists by her sides. "Does that matter? It's the proof. And maybe she hasn't told you and that's why you're so pissed, but it's the truth."

"You don't even know the first thing about the truth!" Austin said, his voice raising in exasperation, along with his hands. "You're just spreading more rumours because you're angry at me and instead of telling me that you're just being really immature! You're attacking Ally because you want me to hurt, but all you're doing is killing her!"

"Be realistic here, you can't kill anyone with rumours."

Austin cocked his head to the side and blinked at her stupidity. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "Alright, whatever you think you're doing, just stop it. It's not like it's helping anyone."

"Oh but it is," she replied pulling her cellphone out of her purse. "See all these people?"

Austin and I looked at the phone. There was a blog up on the screen. I recognized it as the blogs we had to make in Grade 10 for a business course, apparently she had kept hers. We were looking at the 'Ask Kira' section. Most of the questions and comments were about this thing with Austin. They were in support of Kira.

Clearly the person who all this bulletin board shit was helping, was Kira.

"You're doing this to help yourself?" Austin hissed. "How immature is that? That's exactly my point! You're doing this because you're a scorned little girl who just wants revenge!"

"Oh yeah I'm the immature one!" Kira rolled her eyes and shoved her phone back in her bag. "At least I would be mature enough to raise a child as opposed to getting rid of one!"

It stung me to the core every time she implied I'd had an abortion. But with each sting came this glorious amount of anger. I didn't know I was capable of feeling this amount of fury. I didn't know where to put it.

"That didn't even happen!" Austin yelled. "You're making something up to make yourself feel better and someone else worse!"

"You're delusional," Kira said snidely. "All skanks are the same. They sleep around, wind up pregnant, then go and abort the next day!"

"Hey!" Austin yelled, taking a threatening step towards her. "Take that back, Kira."

"No," she said, extending herself and smiling triumphantly.

I took one good look at Kira and acted before I had a chance to even think. I wound up and slapped her hard on the face. Kira drew back, clutching her cheek. Austin's eyes grew wide and he took a step back.

"Oh shit," I breathed out. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she screeched, fabricating tears in her eyes.

Austin rounded on her once more, confusion once more on his face. "What's wrong with you, Kira?"

It was then I realized we weren't alone. Someone had caught the last half of our debacle. Mr. Fairfield - whose class was opposite the front office - had come to see what all the commotion was. They had been making a great deal of noise, but now I was implicated. We all froze and Kira began to play the victim.

"Mr. Fairfield," she cried. "You saw what just happened! You can get her expelled!"

"What?" Austin and Mr. Fairfield chimed. In both of their eyes there was this obvious aversion towards Kira.

"Expel her! She just slapped me in the face! Not to mention everything else she's done to me!" Kira whined, making crocodile tears fall down her cheeks.

Mr. Fairfield hesitated, shifting from foot to foot. He looked from me, to Kira, to Austin. "Expel, I'm not so sure. I think a suspension is more suiting. After all, you were egging them on."

Kira's mouth gaped open and the crying ceased. Thank God I got a teacher who favours me.

I heard clicking down the hall and turned to see Principal Vanderhouse storming down the hallway. She had a well pronounced scowl on her face.

"What did I just tell you three!" she cursed. "This is your last strike. Y'all are out!"

Kira's eyebrows were raised, mouth still agape. She was taken aback that all of this hadn't worked in her favour.

"I'm sorry, what?" Kira hissed. "Did you see what she -"

"You're all suspended until Friday. Don't say anymore or your punishment will be worse. I hate doing this so close to the Christmas season but there's no other choice. I'm calling your parents." Principal Vanderhouse interrupted.

Suspended. The word rang through my head and blurred my vision. I'm not this girl. I don't get suspended.

"You're crying," Austin spoke. He placed his hands on my crossed arms. "Are you okay?"

I hadn't even realized I was crying. I'd been having a lot of those moments recently. How long had the tears been falling down my face?

I looked up at Austin and saw genuine concern in his eyes. My misplaced fury and sadness all came and focused on him. Mr. Fairfield had gone back to his class, Kira had stomped away, and Principal Vanderhouse had gone back to her office. We were alone in the hall and all I wanted to do was hit something.

"I came here today because I thought maybe I'd feel normal," I started through choking sobs. "That all went to shit the second I walked in here. I feel worse than what I've been feeling moping around in my bedroom. I feel like the world has come crashing down around me and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do about any of that! I just want everything to go back to the way it was, but they can't! I don't know if I'll ever feel fine again and I hate that! I hate all of this!"

He looked at me questioningly, pain and sadness in his eyes. It only hurt more to see him like that. "Does that mean you hate me for this too?"

Not even close. Even the parts of me that hated Austin for this whole mess, still loved every inch of him.

"No," I said as my phone bleated out. My mother was here and ready to pick me up. "No, I just hate that I don't."

I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see the hurt I'd, no doubt, inflicted on him. I broke away from his hands and began to head towards the front of the school as quickly as I could without causing myself pain. Hurried sounds of running shoes on the tiled floor followed me. I pivoted on my heel and saw a red eyed Austin.

We looked at each other, neither one of us speaking.

"I'm sorry," I said and I left him behind.

Guilt followed me with every step, but I didn't look back. Why can't I just hate you? Why does everything have to be so hard? When will my world make sense again?

* * *

**AN:** I promise you everything gets happier soon! See you on Saturday! Drop me a review:)


	26. Chapter 26

**AN:** Hi! It's Saturday again! How'd we like Wednesday? I think it was good, I'm continuing with that anyhow:P Thanks for reviewing and continuing to read! Love you all:) This chapter ties up some ends and I think it's pretty cute too, so I hope you all like it! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I may forget this, like always, but I don't own the show.

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 26: Ally's POV

"I didn't tell your dad about the suspension," my mom stated as she walked into the living room.

I had been camped out on the couch all day - sweatpants and oversized sweater in tow - alternating between reading, watching TV, and sleeping. A quick glance at my phone told me it was nearly 5 o'clock. Well, there goes my Tuesday.

I watched as my mom threw her black blazer onto one of the arm chairs and plunked her purse down on the kitchen table. I propped myself up on the couch and turned to look at her.

"Why not?" I asked.

She glanced up from her phone to my peering face. "I just figured if we weren't talking about what happened at the hospital, then we probably shouldn't say you got suspended."

"So what are we saying?" I questioned.

"You just didn't feel ready to go back yet."

"But when I go back on Friday for just one day, I'm ready then?"

She rolled her eyes and put her purse down on one of the chairs. "Just work with me, Ally," she laughed.

"Okay," I sighed and plopped back down on the couch.

I flicked through the channels, looking for something remotely interesting to watch. All the daytime talk shows were over, as well as the soup operas. It was getting into that zone between daytime TV and prime time, where nothing was on. As I was scanning through the shows though, my heart stopped. My smiling school picture was in a corner of the screen accompanied with Austin, and Kira's own mugs.

Oh shit, we're on a scandal show.

I sat up straight on the couch, causing pain to shoot down my spine and right side from being in one position for too long. My mom came and plunked down next to me, noticing my odd change of mood. I turned the volume up and subconsciously moved forward.

"Apparently this has been ongoing for quite some time now and the blogosphere has just caught wind of it now!" a man with curly blonde hair in the TMZ boardroom spoke.

A petite brunette woman shook her head. "What are you talking about, Brian? I've been following this on that Kira girls blog for a while now," then she laughed. "That girl majorly lacks credibility!"

"Right?" a girl with a pixie cut exclaimed. "It just seems like something's wrong with her! I mean, how would she know about this abortion thing?"

I swallowed. Oh my God. They knew everything.

"See," the head guy said, leaning against a counter. "I kind of think this is all a publicity stunt. We saw it with Miley Cyrus, the whole no publicity is bad publicity thing? I think 'Team Austin' may have fabricated this whole story."

"Then what was that video from about a month back?" an Asian man asked.

"Probably for publicity too," the head honcho shrugged. "Didn't it end with Kira saying he lost his record deal? That'll disappoint a lot of fans! But it turns out, he still has it, doesn't he? I'm predicting the release of an album in the near future. That or he just decided to have a really ballsy start to his career."

They all laughed then moved onto another story. Our faces disappeared and there was no more mention of us. I still watched the whole show, waiting for some more accusations.

"Ally," my mom said. "It's over."

"I know," I said, still staring at the television. "I just hate that he's big enough that my life is plastered on that screen."

She clucked her tongue. "Well that's something you're going to have to think about if you want a future with him."

"I know," I whispered.

I heard her sigh, then shift. She crossed her legs on the couch and turned to face me. "Okay honey, what happened yesterday? You just came home and closed the door. Do you want to talk about it now?"

I shook my head. "But I feel like you're going to make me talk about it anyway..."

"I am," she said, placing a stray wave behind my ear. "Because you promised you wouldn't keep me in the dark."

I swallowed. What was I to say that she didn't already know? I still felt the same as before, if not worse. I still felt guilty, and angry, and upset. I still didn't know what to make of any of this.

"I have to tell Dad," I spoke. "If I'm promising not to keep you in the dark, I can't keep him in it either."

"And what're you going to tell him?"

"Everything," I sighed. "Well, almost everything. I'll tell him what happened at the hospital and why I got suspended, I just can't keep secrets anymore. It got me into this hole and I can't go any deeper."

My mom nodded and placed her hand on my knee. "You can tell him keeping it secret was my idea, Ally. I don't mind. I just don't want you to take on too much."

"I know," I mumbled for the umpteenth time. "I know everything I have to do; I knew everything I had to do... I just apparently can't do it."

Her lips quirked and she laughed lightly. "It's always easier to say something than actually do it."

I let out a chuff of air. I felt like I'd had this conversation a million times in my life. The actions around this whole situation didn't feel new anymore. It was something I had grown used to and that still terrified me. I was just going through the motions, pretending like things could be normal.

But that's the whole deal. Nothing can ever go back to how it was. Nothing can ever be the same.

"I hate my life right now," I whispered. Tears began to dribble down my cheeks, something that was just another motion in this situation. "Am I ever going to feel okay again?"

My mom pursed her lips. I knew she hated it when I cried, especially over this. She didn't want to see me like this, but there was no way around it. I brushed her hand off my knee and curled my legs up, resting my head in the space between. There was protest from my right side. An ever present reminder that nothing could ever be normal.

"Oh sweetie," my mom murmured. I felt her weight shift off of the couch and shuffle into the kitchen. She tinkered around for a bit, moving utensils, running water, and slamming cupboards. I heard the kettle come to a hissing boil and she returned.

A steaming, whipped cream and chocolate sauce topped mug was placed before me. From the overwhelming sweet smell I knew what it was. It was my moms special hot chocolate. She came up with the recipe around Christmastime when I was 5. Along with being the drink of choice on Christmas Eve, she produces it whenever I felt stressed or down.

I bent to pick up the red and green elf mug, resting it between my knees. The heat soothed me in a way, the aroma comforting me with memories.

"Thank you," I spoke, taking a sip from the mug.

"You're welcome," she laughed wiping the whipped cream mustache from my face. "I can't tell you when it'll ever feel perfectly fine for you, Ally. But I know it'll happen. You'll find your way out of this slump because I know how strong you are. I'm willing to do anything to make you feel whole again."

"I don't know what that is," I mumbled, fingering the designs on the mug.

My mom sighed and took a sip of the tea she had made for herself. "Do you want to talk to somebody?"

"Like who?"

There was a giant part of me that did want to talk to a professional. They'd know how to deal with this grief a lot better than I did. But at the same time, I didn't want to involve anyone else in my problems. My level of pride would definitely hurt if I went to a therapist.

"Like your Aunt Kristin or a therapist."

I shook my head and closed my eyes. The remaining tears fell at that point, making lines down my cheeks. What else can I afford to lose?

"I don't know," I stumbled out. "I don't know how I'd talk to Kristin about this, let alone a therapist."

"Alright," she said, placing her tea back on the table. "Baby steps right? Kristin will be at Christmas dinner, you can talk to her then if you want, but if not I'm always here."

"Okay," I gave her a wry smile and she moved from the couch.

She walked over to the table and plucked her phone from the spot she had left it. Her features turned into a mask of concentration as she looked down at her messages. I assumed that meant she had gone back to work.

I sighed and picked at stray threads on my dark grey sweatpants. Laughter droned on from the television. A laugh track infused comedy had come on after TMZ. Maybe a good laugh was what I needed. It was definitely what I needed, but I felt too detached to make myself actually watch it.

I returned to picking threads on my pants. I bent forward and shoved my Christmas mug onto the table. What was I going to do with myself?

"Al," my mom said, pulling her legs under her as she sat down on the leather couch. "Can you explain this email to me, please?"

She held her phone out to me and I eventually grabbed it. The email was dated yesterday; the sender, Principal Vanderhouse.

It was a vague overview of the suspension, coupled with some condemning words on what I had done with my pregnancy. She had suggested I get some counseling due to this 'rash and morally wrong' action.

I stared at the email, mouth agape. This was just as bad as Kira's judgement.

"Why does your principal think you had an abortion?"

I threw the phone to the middle of the couch. I wanted nothing to do with this stupid situation anymore. My mom stared down at her phone - screen faded to black - then back to me.

I shook my head and let out the slightest little snicker. "It's this whole Kira thing."

"What'd she do this time?"

I snatched my phone from the coffee table, scrolling through Facebook until I got to the picture I had recently been tagged in. I turned it to my mom. Someone had taken a picture of the bulletin board - photos and note included.

"Because she has pictorial proof! Obviously I got an abortion because I'm on the pregnancy ward. It's the only logical answer!" I rolled my eyes. Everything this girl did was a joke. "But wait, there's more!"

I yanked my phone back in a burst of anger and typed in Kira's blog address. Her last few posts had been about the suspension, me, and Austin. I was at the point where seeing all of this gave me an odd sense of satisfaction. All of this was so big to her that she needed to go on and on and on. But along with that satisfaction came rage and guilt all over again.

The fact that I had caused all of this was just mind blowing. What a stupid little girl...

"She's blogging about you?" my mom asked when I showed her the website.

I nodded. "Well that's what TMZ said, isn't it?"

"I don't understand this..." she shook her head, lines drawn on her forehead in confusion. "Why were you suspended?"

"Kira put that note on the board yesterday with pictures from the day Trish took me to the hospital..." I paused, thinking of how that day could have turned out dramatically different. "She got the whole school to believe I had an abortion, which couldn't be further from the truth. It literally eats me up inside that that's the lie she came up with. I mean, that's what my body did itself, isn't it?"

My voice broke and my mom reached out to me. I couldn't allow her to offer me any form of comfort, though. If she said it was okay, or it wasn't my fault - I wouldn't be able to continue.

"Don't," I swallowed, and she took her hand back. "We all got called down to the office, because 3 notes is the third strike apparently. Principal Vanderhouse was pissed and she was so judgmental towards me. She flipped the pictures of her children away from me as if I would kill them with my brain power. God, they looked like little baby Austin's."

"Ally," my mom said, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. She reached out to me again, rubbing small circles on my back.

"And she gave us a warning," I sniffed, trying to move passed my grief. "She told us to go back to class but Kira wasn't having any of it. We got into the hallway and she finally confronted me. Something in me just snapped. After all the notes and rumours and names swirling around, I just couldn't take it. Everyone was yelling and I just slapped her in the face. I've never done that to anyone in my life. I had no idea I could even do that... Honestly, I'm just glad it wasn't Austin who hit her."

"You're my daughter for sure - feisty," she laughed. "I probably would've hit her too. So that's why you were suspended?"

"No," I shook my head. "Only Mr. Fairfield saw me hit her and he took my side too."

"That doesn't happen all that often," she muttered.

"We were suspended because of all the noise we made in the hall. It disrupted classes or something - which it did - and that was the last straw. She suspended us and Kira was pissed and I was just in shock, I guess. I..."

What was bugging me the most, was what I had said to Austin. I saw his face. I saw how much I had hurt him.

But did he know how much all of this had hurt me? How his celebrity was what put the lock in the coffin? How all of this was just absolute hell?

"I basically told Austin that I hated him."

"Oh Ally," my mom moaned, enveloping me into her arms. "Oh honey."

"I don't," I mumbled into her chest. "I really wish I did after all of this, but... I can't hate him. Everything that's happened I find myself blaming him and I don't know why. I just blame him and blame him but I've fallen for him all the same."

"Well honey," my mom spoke, brushing through my hair with her fingers. "That's love for you."

"I don't like it."

She laughed softly. "Not at this point you don't. You'll have those moments, but you'll also have glorious, wondrous, fire igniting moments. You just need to let the boy in."

"What?" I sniffed, pulling away so I could look at her face.

"Both of you are hurting right now, but neither of you are talking. You need to let him in. You need to explain yourself and talk things through. I have every faith in you that this'll turn out right, you just -"

There were four periodic knocks on the door. I untangled myself from my mom and she slowly got off the couch.

"This better not be that Jehovah's Witness 'Let the Lord in!' woman again!" she said, heading into the front hall.

I laughed. This woman had been combing our neighbourhood for weeks, it was starting to get just a little bit crazy. "Just hope that it's carollers!" I yelled back.

"Hey," I heard her say as the door swung open. "Are you hear to sing us some carols?"

I heard awkward laughter and the door slam shut. Shoes were shed, along with coats on the banister. Pleasantries with whoever the woman was, but it sounded like more than just their feet. My mom's face appeared around the corner, an ironic smile on her lips.

"Hey Al," she smirked. "Speak of the devil, right?"

I opened my mouth to question as Austin and his mother appeared. My breath was taken from me and I closed my eyes. When I opened them, a hopeful yet hesitant expression laid on Austin's face.

I looked down at my hands then pushed myself off the couch. I winced slightly, but smiled through the pain. "Do you want to go talk?"

* * *

**AN: **Leaving on a cliffhanger again! But hey, at least you don't have to wait too long now:P Drop me a review!


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: **I meant to mention this a few chapters back, but I'll say it now anyway! Everything is officially all finished here and I've gotten to work on other projects:) I can also officially promise that everything wraps up nicely and in my books, it is a happy ending. It might not seem that way amongst all the drama but don't worry, we're wrapping up!

Happy Birthday to my best friend! Love ya:D

Thanks for still being here and still reviewing and favouriting and following! I think you should favourite or follow me as an author too:P Ya know, that way you can see all my other stories I planned on writing!

Read, Review, and Enjoy!:)

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 27: Ally's POV

"Ally, before you go," Austin's mom spoke. "Can I just talk to you first?"

I hesitated, shifting from one fluffy sock clad foot, to the other. I knew what Austin would want to talk about, but what did she want?

"Sure," I smiled tightly, clutching my arms to my chest.

She gestured to the dining room and I followed behind her. Austin awkwardly shuffled to a discarded footstool, sitting down and averting his gaze. Mrs. Moon turned to me, her eyes masking sorrow and worry.

"I'm so sorry for everything that's happened," she said, tilting her head to the side in what I was sure was supposed to be a comforting gesture.

"It's okay," I mumbled. It wasn't okay. People telling me that they were sorry made me feel like there was something to be sorry for. That I should be sorry for my body.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be apologizing. That must be what -" she paused. "Never mind. I just, I imagine everyone must be telling you this, but I wanted you to know that what you're feeling is normal."

I bit my lip. What was the point of this conversation again? "Thanks," I muttered, down casting my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really helping, I know," she said, her hands moving absently around a box. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know how hard this has been on Austin and I assume it's even worse on you... I just hope you're not like Austin and crying in your mom's arms too."

"What?" I said, shifting my gaze to Austin. I never would have expected him to...

"Giving you some perspective," she smiled at me. Austin was as broken as I was. "Also, I know how much food helps in a time of great sadness or stress. Here's some chocolate's from our trip to Switzerland."

I took the box of chocolates and nodded another thank you. She patted my shoulder and walked to the kitchen table where my mom was perched. They both sat down - looking like they needed each other to talk - and Austin stood. He stared at me expectantly, arms slightly open, waiting for my guidance.

I stared down at the ground. I didn't want to disappoint him. Eventually he walked over to me and took my hand - the one that wasn't holding the box of chocolate's. The gesture made me look up into his eyes. It made me miss everything about him, even though he was standing right there. I placed the box on the dining room table and wrapped my arms around him. He held me, pushing me flush against his body. I didn't want to let go and I could tell by the way he was grasping my shoulder, that he didn't either.

"Aww," I heard the tiny noise of admiration come from the direction of my mother. I pulled back and saw both my mom and Mrs. Moon smiling.

My gaze turned to the floor again, embarrassed. Austin kept his hand on the small of my back, I could tell he was grinning.

"We're going to go upstairs," Austin said. It was more of a question, making sure they actually allowed us to be alone in my room.

My mom nodded. "Okay," she spoke. "But don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Austin laughed. I knew it was a joke, it just didn't make me feel any better. I turned towards the stairs and began walking. Austin grabbed the box of chocolates and followed me. I wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go, I wasn't sure if I liked that.

I opened the door to my room and turned on the light. It lit up the mess that had become my space. My sheets were a disheveled unmade heap, and clothes were left shed on the floor, along with stray pages from my song books. I had been writing and writing and writing, but nothing made sense. Nothing sounded any good. But instead of being in the garbage, they were scattered amongst my carpet.

"Sorry for the mess," I murmured, sitting cross legged in my mass of sheets.

He shrugged, throwing the chocolates on my bed and bending to pick up one of the discarded papers. I put my arm out in protest but eventually withdrew it as he straightened a crumpled one. His eyes scanned the page and when he looked up, a sadness surrounded him.

"Ally," he breathed. "How do you manage to write so beautifully when you're so sad?"

I laughed, taking the paper from him as he sat down. "None of this is any good."

"I beg to differ," he said, smiling. "That ones perfect and I'm willing to bet if I picked up any of these other ones, they'd be pretty perfect too."

"Says the boy who came up with 'Song, song, song, song, song, song'..." I giggled.

He laughed too and began to unwrap the chocolates. "Hey! I may not be the best song writer, but I can tell when something is good or bad."

I watched his fingers meticulously scratch at the plastic wrap. It was drawn tight over the box, the kind you need long nails to pick at the edges. Eventually he peeled away at it with his teeth, an action that made him look like a deranged dog.

"Do you need some help?" I snickered.

It was in these first fleeting moments that I realized everything I had missed. The days I had shut Austin out, the secrets I had kept, my mounting blame on him. All of it came crashing down around me in an open box of chocolate.

Austin smiled triumphantly and handed me a truffle. They were all milk or dark chocolate with white chocolate shavings dribbled overtop. I took it from him and ate it whole, watching him with every chew.

"So what're we doing?" I asked, mouth still half full with chocolate. "Sitting around eating a box of chocolate in some vain attempt to talk?"

He shook his head, shedding the tiny candy wrapper around the chocolate. "These are just the best chocolates I've ever had. I figured they might help. You hate me anyway so it doesn't matter."

"I don't hate you," I mumbled, unable to look him in the eye.

"Then why can't you look at me?" he whispered. I felt him shift closer to me, saw his hands reach out to mine. I stared at the forest green sleeve of his shirt, the tiny scar on his wrist from when he fell off the stage at one of his first outings. Sometimes I felt like I knew him better than I did myself.

I didn't know who I was right now. I didn't know why I couldn't look at him. I didn't know how to put blame on anyone else. I didn't know anything.

I don't know anything.

I'm lost and I have no idea how to be found.

Tears began to fall down my cheeks and I covered my eyes with my hands. "I don't know."

"Ally," he said, managing to wrap me into a hug.

"I don't hate you," I cried. "Not at all, not in the slightest. It's just everything that's happened and everything that keeps building, I just keep blaming you for it. I don't know why and I can't stop and it's making me want to hate you with everything I have, but I can't. I can't hate you no matter how much blame I put on you."

He rubbed my back but I could tell he had no idea what to say. A silence filled the room. All that could be heard was our breathing and my sobs. The only thing it reminded me of was every moment I'd spent with Austin since the original event. I'd spent so much time crying in his arms and not knowing anything about myself anymore.

"I'm sorry," he eventually managed.

"God, how do you not hate me?" I moaned, pushing away from him. "I just told you I blame you for all of this and I can't even count the number of times I've cried with you."

He looked down at my comforter, absently tracing the velvet patterns. "I could never hate you," he said, shaking his blonde locks from left to right. He glanced up at me, his eyes glistening. "You're -" he hesitated and snickered. "You're something special, Al. I can't hate you for the same reason you can't hate me. I love you. All that I hate is how much you're tearing yourself up. All that I hate is seeing you crying your eyes out. I love you, I just hate this."

I sighed and stared at him. His dark brown orbs looked back. We were both studying each other. Austin's eyes were shining, he was on the verge of tears. His nose was red and he was biting his lip. He was sitting with his legs outstretched, feet lightly touching my knees. His hands were balled in the sheets, knuckles white. He was a mess.

I could guarantee I looked the same way. Maybe worse.

My hair had been pulled back in a frazzled, tangly pony tail. My glasses were fogged with tears, I could only imagine that my cheeks were tracked with the same. I knew my dark grey sweatpants and maroon fleece sweater did nothing for me. I knew I looked like someone on drugs, or maybe a cat lady. I was a mess.

We were both broken, unwitting messes.

"Austin, I don't know what to do anymore," I whispered.

"Looks like you're writing," he replied, gesturing around the room. "Which I'm sure is some form of therapy."

He swallowed and I looked down at my feet. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I'm the worst person," I muttered. "I kept you in the dark and then kept you in the dark even after you knew."

He let out a long breath and turned away from me. "Yeah," he said, his voice strained. "Yeah, that... It wasn't your finest moment."

"I didn't realize how much I was hurting you," I mumbled. Nothing I was saying came out strong anymore. Everything I had done to Austin made me feel awful.

"I never thought you'd lie to me," he said, sounding like a little boy who had had his candy taken away. "It's just, you're... Special. You're so special to me, Al, but you keep lying to me. I don't know how long I can take..."

He trailed off and let his words hit me. In everything I had done, I hadn't realized how much destruction I was leaving. I was so afraid within myself that I didn't stop to think about anyone else.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I was just so terrified. In my mind I didn't even think I was lying to you. I just thought that if I didn't tell you things, then you wouldn't hate me. I wouldn't be able to stand it if you did... I just... I let it go too far and I let myself be too scared and I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he sighed and looked back at me. There was hurt in his eyes and I really hoped it actually was okay. "It's just -"

He paused and I blinked. Whatever he was about to say, it was big.

"Just what?" I asked hesitantly.

"I wish I could remember having sex with you," he laughed. "That's not some pervy confession though, I promise. It's just... If I ever thought we were going to do that, I never expected it to be that way. I wish there was a do-over button where I could remember it as something special. Something that lives up to how you should be treated."

"Oh," I said, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. "I can remember everything around that night, I just can't remember actually doing it. I don't remember taking off my clothes or anything in between... All I can think of is the regret we both felt after we did it."

Austin groaned. "I know," he mumbled. "That's what I wish wasn't there. Call me crazy, but I wish it meant more. I don't want it to be some drunken affair but that's what it is."

"You're not just happy it was sex? I mean, what teenage boy doesn't want sex?"

He shrugged. "Have them go through something like this and maybe they'll think twice."

We were both overcome by silence. Austin unwrapped another chocolate and handed me one. I played with the brown candy liner of the truffle, running my nails along the creases. Again, we got into a staring match. This inability to move on to the next subject.

"I'm sorry," I spoke.

"Don't be," he smiled. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry for lying to you," I muttered. "Or whatever it was I was doing."

Austin pushed my arm and I fell back onto my pillows. He appeared next to me and turned to face me. "You already apologized for that, which mean it's void. Now you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I have everything to be sorry for," I whispered.

"Nope," he smiled. "No. Nothing to be sorry for. It's all gone!"

My lips quirked. I knew he was trying to pull me out of this, but I just felt so horrible.

"I'm a failure, Austin. Isn't that enough to be sorry for?"

"Everyone's a failure if you look at them the wrong way," Austin shrugged. He wiped a tear away from my cheek, his hand lingering. "How I look at you... I think you already know. I think you're pretty perfect. And you're pretty and your perfect."

I laughed and closed my eyes, warming to his touch. "I'm not, Austin."

"Not what?" he asked, hand trailing from my cheek, down my arm, and to my hand. "Because you're gorgeous and you're absolutely not a failure."

I sighed and felt myself start to drift. Why did everything have to be so complicated? I squeezed his hand and opened my eyes. Austin's face was right in front of mine. Mere inches from my lips. I closed the gap and lightly kissed him. It wasn't for long. It was just long enough.

I shook my head. "I don't know what to do."

"I don't think anyone expects you to," he whispered.

I disconnected our hands and reached up to his face. I ran my fingers along his cheekbones, down his nose, and over his soft, pink lips. I memorized every inch of him. I let our breathing come together. But I still didn't know what to do.

"Austin, I -" I paused and pursed my lips. Austin began trailing his fingers over my face, just as I had done to him. I laughed and forgot everything.

His lips quirked into a grin at my happiness. "God, you're beautiful."

I shook my head. "No," I said, resting my hand on his chest. "I'm not. I can't be. I don't know how you look at me like this after everything."

And just like that, I ruined everything.

Austin's grin turned into a frown all too quickly. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Al, I don't know why you can't see what I see. I don't know why you can't stop blaming yourself or blaming me, for all of this. I realize we may have done the original action, but this end result - it's nobody's fault."

"Someone has to be at fault," I whispered. "That's just how the world works."

"Then blame Kira, or blame the world, or blame fate. I don't know, just stop doing this to yourself."

The love and pain that I saw in his eyes hurt my soul. I couldn't believe that one person could feel this way about another. It was the utmost, highest, strongest amount of love that I had ever felt. It was something that just made everything all the more painful.

He would have made an amazing father.

I rubbed my hand over my face and covered my mouth. I didn't want to say it, but I knew I had to.

"Austin," I started, tears - once more - forming in my eyes. "Maybe we just need to step back for a while."

"What?" he asked. I could tell by the confused draw of his eyebrows, he hadn't expected me to say that.

I shook my head and sat up, pushing stray hairs behind my ears. "All of this," I stuttered as Austin sat next to me, trying to comprehend my next whim. "It just doesn't make sense to me anymore. The only thing that's changed is us. What if that's what's out of place? What if it needs to be fixed?"

"So you're saying -" he started.

"I'm not saying anything. I'm just thinking, maybe we should let everything cool down and then begin again."

He nodded. "I understand."

"I'm sorry," I said, again.

"Don't be. It makes sense, Al. We need to step back, if only for a little. You still know that means I'll be there for you, right?"

"Yeah," I said, wiping away my tears. "I know. Same here."

Austin got off my bed and stood beside me. I looked up at him and smiled. He returned the smile and reached out to me, wrapping me in a hug once more. Just as he was about to pull back, he bent and kissed my forehead.

"I love you, Al," he whispered, looking me in the eye. I stared at him, a small smile appearing on my face. He reached out for my hands and I squeezed his. "I'll see you soon."

He walked from my room and I let out all the air I had been holding. Every ounce in my body was questioning what I had just told him. How can any of this be right?

* * *

**AN: **Don't you just love it when something works out perfectly? That's how the ending kind of came to me for this chapter... And I know it's sad, but I've promised happiness! And I still promise happiness:) At least you don't have long to wait for the next chapter! Drop me a review!


	28. Chapter 28

**AN:** Ok, so I don't have a clue what went on when I tried to upload Chapter 27 on Wednesday! It was going fine but when I went to check it, it didn't show up! So I deleted it and put it back up but the same thing happened. My friend kept telling me she couldn't get at it either... It said it had updated but nothing was there. Some people could see it but others couldn't. Some weird stuff was going on! I deleted it again and put it back up and it seems to be going well now.. I'm getting reviews for it so I assume people can see it, haha! Sorry if you got a bunch of notifications for it! Hopefully it won't happen with this one:)

Anyway, how about we step up those reviews for these last three chapters? Give me a 2 digit number that's higher than 10! Haha:P

Thank you if you have reviewed or favourited or followed. Honestly, I just love hearing what ya think:) Here is Chapter 28. You may recognize the structure from an earlier one:P Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 28: Third Person POV

Trish loudly knocked on the wooden emerald front door of Austin's house. She drew her oversized navy blue cardigan around her shoulders, there was a slight nip to the air. The wind whipped around the railing's of the Moon's front porch, making the fence and shutters rattle. Trish's dark brown curls blew around her face and into her eyes. She impatiently shuffled, running her feet along the tiny step into their house and glancing down at her wrist which held no watch. She held her fist up to the door once more, and knocked three times.

She knew Austin was home. He had nowhere else to be, after all. The suspension was still in effect and his car was still in the driveway. The even more telling sign of Austin's whereabouts, was Dez's bicycle leaned up against the side of the house.

They were home, they just might not be listening.

"Trish," Austin said, his mouth dropping in shock as he swung open the door. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Of course not," Trish muttered, shoving past him and into the house. Without any invitation, she shed her knee high boots and dropped her backpack onto the foyer floor.

Austin watched her make herself at home and walk further into his house. She eventually found Dez ruffling through the refrigerator and freezer, creating a mess of food on the counter.

"So why are you here?" Austin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to yell at you."

Austin narrowed his eyes and walked into the kitchen, watching Dez unload all of the ice cream in the house, out of the fridge. Chocolate, Vanilla, Mint Chocolate Chip, Cookie Dough, Birthday Cake, and Strawberry - all lined the counters. Why the Moon household had such a plethora of ice cream, no one knew.

"What the hell are you doing?" Trish asked, running her fingers around the giant ceramic bowl Dez had brought out for his sundae.

"I'm getting something to eat," Dez explained, rolling his eyes. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're taking all the junk out of the cupboards and throwing it together," she said, crinkling her nose at some of the ingredients. "Since when does vinegar go on ice cream?"

"It heightens the flavour," Dez said flippantly.

Austin and Trish cocked their heads to the side. They had learned not to question these whims anymore. Just let Dez do what he wanted, and ask later.

The two watched in silence as Dez piled each flavour into the yellow bowl. Soon there was a mass of colour that had been doused in chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, vinegar, cherry juice, white chocolate syrup, and maple syrup. Eyebrows were raised as Dez continued to pile more on top. Cookie pieces, cherries, orange slices, sprinkles, marshmallows, tootsie rolls, and mounds of whipped cream all came into one.

"You can't seriously tell me you're going to eat that!" Trish moaned, unable to keep the disgust out of her voice.

Dez pulled out a ladle and looked Trish in the eye as he took a giant bite and swallowed it whole. He smiled as Austin and Trish looked on in distaste.

"Want some?" Dez asked, pulling spoons out of the drawer in the counter.

Trish shook her head and pulled another stool up to the island. Austin hesitantly picked up a spoon, took a small bite of the sundae and immediately spit it into a napkin.

"God, Dez," Austin sputtered. "How do you even eat this?"

Dez shrugged and confusedly stared at his two questioning friends. "I don't see anything wrong with it."

Trish rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. She hadn't taken time out of her day and come here just to watch Dez eat ice cream. Every time she dealt with Dez her body just itched with annoyance. But, on the other hand, they had come up with some pretty good plans together - and for that, she needed him.

"I don't know what to do anymore," she spoke.

"What?" Austin asked, turning away from the sink where he had poured a huge glass of water. He came over and sat on the stool next to Trish, tilting his head in an attempt to understand. "What do you mean?"

Trish drummed her red and white stripped nails on the granite counter. "It's Ally. I just, I think she doesn't know what to do with herself, or with anyone for that matter."

"I don't know either, Trish," Austin mumbled, his voice strained.

"I know she broke up with you."

"Not break up," Austin deadpanned. "Just taking a break."

Trish scoffed. "Well, you know how that worked out in Friends."

"It worked out fine. Ross and Rachel ended up together."

"Is that how you think your story is going to end?"

"How do you think it's going to end?"

Trish sighed. "I don't know. I really want you two to be together. You work so well together, it's just everything is in the way."

"I'm familiar with all of that," Austin muttered, plunking his head down on the counter. He groaned and shut his eyes, trying to gain perspective from what Trish had said.

The kitchen became shrouded in silence. There wasn't much to say about the matter at hand, other than the fact that it was happening. No one knew how to deal with what had been going on in Ally's life. It wasn't a problem that seventeen year olds were meant to face. Cheating, lying, pregnancies, miscarriages, revenge, affairs - they were all more suited for people who had actually graduated both high school and university. The only part of this situation that was familiar, were the rumours.

School yard, nasty, untrue rumours. They went around and grew. That's what a seventeen year old is suited to deal with, everything else is just above and beyond.

Trish absently picked up one of the spoons Dez had taken out of the drawer. She swirled it around the ice cream, making patterns with all the toppings. Without thinking, she brought the spoon to her mouth, only to discover the concoction actually wasn't that bad.

Or maybe she just wasn't thinking about everything that Dez had put into it.

"See!" Dez exclaimed. "I told you it wasn't that bad."

Trish stared down at the spoon, then back at Dez. "Do you even care about any of this? Do you care that your supposed best friend is dealing with a lot right now? Do you understand that?"

"Yeah," Dez said, staring at Trish as though she had stepped out of line. He dropped the ladle into the bowl of ice cream and gripped the edge of the counter. "Yeah, I care and I know what's happening too. I'm not an idiot, Trish. I just choose to sidetrack myself and other people so that they aren't constantly focused on the negative. What do you think this sundae was all about?"

She downcasted her eyes, trying to gain some composure. She hadn't expected that from Dez. In all of his antics, there never seemed to be a point - a new perspective was gained. Maybe Dez held things together a lot better than anyone had expected.

"Oh," she mumbled, taking a tiny bite of the ice cream. "Sorry."

Dez threw Austin the tub of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, the only kind he truly loved. "Here! I care about my friends, Trish. I may not show it in what you think is the right way, but I do care."

"So what're we supposed to do about Ally?"

"I don't know," Dez stated, picking his ladle back up.

"She wants space," Austin mumbled into the counter. "So we give her space."

"That's like, the exact opposite of what we should be doing!" Trish moaned. "She doesn't want to be left alone, she's forcing herself to be alone. I mean, you talked to her yesterday, Austin - did she want to be alone?"

Austin looked up from his spot on the counter. "She broke up with me. What do you think?"

"I thought you said it was just -" Trish started, but from the scowl on Austin's face, she changed course. "Never mind... It's like I was saying. She's forcing herself to be alone, even though she doesn't want to be. She regrets telling you goodbye."

"How do you know that?" Austin scrutinized.

"She texted me."

"Then why isn't she telling me that?"

Trish rolled her eyes. "Because she's forcing herself to be alone."

"But that doesn't even make sense!" Austin yelled, slamming his fist on the counter and accidentally hitting the spoon. It clattered to the floor, making an ugly metal noise resound.

"Kinda does," Dez said through a mouthful of ice cream. "I hide behind food and she hides behind her writing."

"What?"

Dez scoffed. "Is it that hard to believe when I come up with good ideas? She just doesn't want to drag anyone else down with her."

"But that wouldn't be dragging anyone down!" Austin said, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. "That would be helping her! That would actually allow her to heal!"

"I know," Trish spoke, keeping level and trying to calm Austin down. "That's why we can't leave her alone."

Austin sighed and nodded. The clock on the tiled wall of the kitchen ticked. It egged them on to find an answer. Forced them into this odd sense of calm. Made everything seem important - urgent.

"So you think I should talk to her?" Austin asked.

Trish shook her head. "No," she said to Austin's confused stare. "Not now. We've got some major damage control to do, right Dez?"

Dez looked up from his sundae. "What kind of damage control?"

"The kind that turns Ally's image at school from whore who aborted her child, to a girl who made a mistake and had nothing to do with pregnancy."

"But she was pregnant," Austin said, the hurt creeping into his voice. "I mean, not that she told me.."

Trish cocked her head to the side. "You're still on about that?" she pushed his grey sweater clad shoulder lightly. "The girl would have told you, I just jumped the gun. So I'm sorry for that. She's pushing away now, like she did then. I've known Ally for years, and the more stressed she gets, the more she locks herself away. She's majorly stressing out over all of this and what's happening at school isn't helping her in the slightest."

"I know I shouldn't be upset about that. I know it can't be helped anymore, I just wish I had found out differently. That there weren't so many grey areas."

"You're entitled to that," Trish said, assuringly. "And that's my bad. I shouldn't have told you I should have just left it. She would have done it eventually."

"I wish she wasn't so scared," Austin mumbled, running a hand through his hair and settling on his forehead. He rested against his hand and sighed.

Trish bit her lip, unsure how to comfort her friend. Dez pushed the Mint Chip ice cream closer to Austin, trying to get him to eat. Ice cream solves everything, after all.

"The thing with Ally," Trish hesitated. "Is that she's experiencing this first hand. You have this chance to walk away while she's stuck. It's just -"

"I wouldn't ever walk away," Austin said urgently. He stared at Trish and Dez, willing his words to be true. He picked up the second spoon Dez had shoved at him and dug into the ice cream, drowning his sorrows.

Trish nodded and took a bite of the giant sundae. "I know. But you get what I mean, right?" Austin nodded sadly and Trish continued. "This is so out of my comfort zone. How are we supposed to control all these rumours? We only have Thursday to curb all of this... What are we supposed to counter with?"

"Didn't Ally's mom come up with something to tell her dad?" Dez asked.

"Yeah," Trish sighed. "But they told her dad the truth last night."

Austin snickered. "My mom got that phone call. He was more than a little bit angry..."

"But what was the lie?" Dez encouraged.

"You can't counter lies with more lies," Austin said, dropping his spoon into the vat of ice cream. "That just makes everything even worse."

"I don't think we have a choice, Austin," Trish pursed her lips and patted his arm. "If she walks in there and everyone knows she lost the baby, it'll be just as bad. Everyone's angry at her now, but pity is worse. If she comes in and everyone is apologizing and saying 'sorry for your loss', she'll lose that baby about a thousand more times."

Austin blinked and ran a hand over his face, exasperated. "I didn't think about that."

"So I repeat, what was the lie?" Dez asked. He wiped his hands on his jeans and licked the ladle clean, eyebrows raised all the while.

"I still don't think we should lie," Austin mumbled. "But they said it was appendicitis."

"What do you think we should do then?" Trish asked. "Because that's all I got."

"I don't know," Austin sucked in a deep breath of air. "Lie? Anything that helps... As long as people don't find out, I guess."

Trish nodded and ran her fingers around the edge of the now empty ceramic bowl. She closed her eyes, forming a plan. "You won't be the one telling the lie anyway, it's Dez and I doing the damage control. All we have to get out into the rumour mill is that Ally thought she was pregnant because she was throwing up - that's a symptom of appendicitis. So then she went to the hospital to find out, going straight to the source instead of using a home test. That's the picture they got of us, and that's why she looks like she's freaking out. But then, when we were there they found out she had appendicitis and needed to have it taken out. Which also explains her absence from school."

"The fact that you just came up with that on the spot." Austin shook his head.

Trish laughed and turned to Dez. "Make sense?"

"Yeah," Dez nodded, hopping off his stool and grabbing the bowl. He took it over to the sink and grinned. "I mean, I did come up with it after all."


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: **Alright, so I screwed up the order! I know this was supposed to be up on Wednesday and that today was supposed to be the final chapter, but oh well! I've had such a busy week. On Tuesday my friend was like 'Hey want to throw an impromptu surprise goodbye party for our best friend tomorrow?' So of course I said yes! I'm not going to see her for months! That's what university does to ya fellas! Anyway I was super busy planning Tuesday and Wedneaday and then actually partying on Wednesday. For being so last minute, a lot of people actually came. It was a lot of fun, I must admit! But then Thursday I spent babysitting and the tiniest bit hungover and then Friday I was getting stuff ready for school... Everything was just hectic and I didn't want to be rushed so I decided to post this chapter today instead! That way, I can post the final chapter next Saturday on me and my boyfriend's 3rd anniversary:D

Make sense? Okay!

So awesome! Alright on with it! Can I get some more reviews? I would absolutely love that:) Thanks for continuing to read! Hope you enjoy Chapter 29! Can you believe only one chapter is left? Read, Review, and Enjoy:)

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own the show!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 29: Ally's POV

I stared at my face in the bathroom mirror. I wasn't going to cry today. I wasn't going to pull away. I wasn't going to fake a smile. I was actually going to try and be myself.

I curled the ends of my hair very slightly. If I was going to face anyone at school today, I needed the little lift. I'd taken my time applying winged eyeliner. Why not, right? Mascara was on; contacts were in. I was back on my A-game, or at least I was trying to be.

Is there much of a point in going back the day before Christmas break? Probably not. But was I going to do it? Absolutely.

Once more, I was proving to myself that I could, in fact, do this.

I sighed, running my hands along my neon pink maxi skirt. Can you do this, Ally? One of my biggest worries was facing Austin. It's so illogical to always be worried to see him. It's so crazy to think that he would look at me any differently. It's so stupid to believe that he could hate me... But it still didn't stop me from thinking exactly that.

"Why do you have to be so perfect?" I whispered to the porcelain sink.

Because Austin was so perfect. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, but he was also the worst. And in the face of all that, he was still so good to me. All I wanted was to be in his arms. Or maybe just be in his presence.

We screwed up big time and I made a really horrible decision. I knew that the second he walked out my door. But I also knew how much he loved me just from the look in his eye. I was just hoping with my whole heart that he hadn't changed his mind since Tuesday.

I was also hoping I could go back in time to October and stop this from ever happening... I knew one wish was more plausible, though.

Stepping back from the mirror and surveying myself, I decided it was finally time to leave. I walked to my room and grabbed my book bag - one that was overflowing with final assignments to hand in. I glanced at my reflection in my vanity mirror one last time.

You can do this, Ally. You can.

With one final mantra, I made my way down the green carpeted staircase. I plucked my jean jacket off the banister and completed my outfit with it. My mom joined me in the front foyer, putting on red lipstick in the oval mirror by the front door. She pulled her hair into a high bun and turned to face me. I raised my eyebrows.

"You sure you want to go?" my mom asked. She had waited to go into work until the last possible second just for this. She wanted me to stay home, but if I did choose to go in, she was going to drive me there.

I nodded, shoving my feet into a pair of flats. "Yeah, I have to."

"No," she shook her head and pursed her lips. "No, you don't have to."

"I want to," I said more strongly.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the keys from the front desk. "Okay, fine. But you call me if your principal gives you any hell."

"She won't," I mumbled hopefully. My mom had written an email to Principal Vanderhouse early Wednesday morning. She woke me up at 6am so I could proofread what she had to say. It was essentially a letter proving the principal wrong. I had not aborted my baby and it was appalling and rude that she should ever have suggested that. In fact, my mom demanded an apology.

I must admit the letter was laughable at times, but only because I was so close to the situation. To anyone else, it sounded like a pissed off mother who was working hard to clear her daughter's name. I just hoped it worked to some degree within the school.

My mom held the door for me and I walked outside. She carefully locked the door, jiggling the old knob to make sure the key had worked.

"We really need to replace those locks," she mumbled, then gestured for me to get into her car.

I nodded and dragged my feet as I walked. Nausea built up in my body and I wasn't sure if I was still feeling hormonal effects or just incredibly nervous. I settled down in the passenger seat and sighed, smoothing out the creases in my black tank top. Anything to keep me busy and free from worrying about what I might face when I walk into that school.

My mom started the engine and turned up the radio. I could only assume she was doing this to make me think about this decision to go to school. Unlike the choice I had made with Austin, I was sure this was a good one.

She tapped her hands on the steering wheel while watching the cars at the stoplight. The oldies radio station she had playing was doing nothing but annoying me, and simultaneously putting me into a trance. My mind started to wander in circles. I wonder how my mom feels about all of this. There's this overwhelming sense of worry I get from her, but I wonder if she was ever angry. If she was, she never showed it.

She wasn't like my dad. When he found out, his emotions immediately changed. All anger, blame, and disappointment became focused on Austin. He yelled and screamed - but not at me. He was so upset, but none of the berating was done to my face. Every time he talked, it was to the wall. All of this was Austin's fault in his books so there was no use yelling at me. Thank God my mom stopped him before he did anything too drastic.

But all this anger that my dad expressed - both in person and to Austin's mother over the phone - made me even more concerned about loving Austin. Would he still want me with my dad being so crazy over this? Would I even be allowed to love Austin with my dad basically hating him?

I hoped so.

There wasn't a part of me that didn't want Austin. Every inch of my body wanted things to go back to normal with him. I just wanted something simple. I just wanted to be his girlfriend. But there was this horrible sense of crippling doubt every time I let my mind venture into the Austin realm. Could we really ever be Austin and Ally again?

I wish I could swallow all my disjointed feelings towards him and just exist. If we could be together, that would be perfect. But I had no idea how to get there.

We pulled up to the school, my mom tisking - making tiny noises of worry and distain. I carefully watched the flurry of teenagers on the front steps. There were people walking in and out of the school - smiling, laughing, mulling around, generally excitable over the upcoming Christmas season. Their attitude seemed different from what they were on Monday. No one seemed to be buzzing. It was just a normal school day.

Hopefully.

I gathered up all my courage and opened the car door. Grabbing my messenger bag from the floor of the car, I made eye contact with my mom. She raised her eyebrows and shot me a wry smile.

"You're okay?" she asked.

I nodded and stared at the front door of the school. "I'm fine."

"Just like I told you on Monday," my mom said, reaching out to me. "You can come home if you're not comfortable. You don't have to put on a brave face."

"I hope I don't have to come home again," I laughed.

My mom shook her head and faced front in the car. I slammed the door shut, waving as she drove away. I sighed and slung my bag over my shoulder.

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

"Hey!" Trish chimed, sidling up next to me. I jumped at her presence, which only caused her to laugh.

Worry immediately flooded my body with her waiting for me. Was there another note? Was she going to try and stop me from going in again? At this point I wouldn't even think twice. I would turn around and walk away. Screw every good intention, and abandon my troubles.

"What's going on?" I asked shakily.

She cocked her head to the side, eyebrows furrowing. "Why do you sound nervous?"

"You don't meet me outside," I said, coming to a stop just shy of the front steps. "The last time you did there was a lovely little note on the board."

"Oh," Trish said, rolling her eyes. "Trust me, there's no note."

"Then why are you outside?"

She shrugged. "I figured I'd be nice."

"Why?"

"Because you've been through a lot of hell, girl. I want you to know that I'm here for you," she smiled and put her arm around my shoulders.

I smiled and returned the side hug. "Thanks."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

Trish was right. There was absolutely nothing on the board. There weren't any angry stares or Kira lies. In general, the school seemed very much so back to normal. The only thing that was out of the ordinary, was everyone apologizing to me.

I couldn't figure out why people I had never seen before we're coming up to me and saying sorry. Of course, people in my classes were also apologizing too. I didn't know if the real truth had actually come out, or maybe they realized that Kira was finally at fault. By lunch, I was more than a little confused.

"Could Ally Dawson please make her way down to the office?" a voice came over the intercom.

I took my history textbook out of my locker and looked over to Trish. She shrugged, not knowing what the office could want of me either. Was it the apology my mom had demanded? Or was it yet another level of trouble?

"You better get going," Trish said. "I'll be in the Caf at the usual table."

She waved goodbye and headed down the hallway. I was left alone to gather my thoughts and some form of composure. I slowly shut my locker and tried to calmly breathe out. Heading down the hallway scared me, but I no longer felt so isolated by the student's stares. In fact, no one was really staring at me anymore.

My mind had the audacity to wonder if that was normal. Of course it's normal to not be stared at! Your life is finally regaining some normalcy, Ally, be proud of that!

A small smile appeared on my lips as I made my way down the stairs and to the front office. I was just about to turn the knob when someone stopped me.

"Ally," Darren, a boy from my Biology class called.

I paused and turned to face him. "Darren."

"Hey," he smiled. "I was going to tell you this earlier today but class started, so I'm glad I ran into you."

"Okay," I prompted.

"I'm sorry for calling you a slut and stuff. I didn't realize what was going on. I thought you got an abortion, but I guess you didn't so... Yeah I'm sorry."

I blinked, a little more clarity was coming to me. "Uh, thanks," I mumbled. Should I really be thanking someone for calling me a slut? That's the real question.

I pushed past him and walked into the main office. Much like on Monday, the secretary took note of me and gestured away to the Principal's office. I gave her a wry smile, while she merely grimaced.

Principal Vanderhouse was waiting for me when I walked in. Her bombshell blonde hair was falling in ramrod straight lines around her face, somehow it made her look more authoritative and mean than with her hair pulled back. She gestured for me to take a seat with her long, perfectly French manicured nails.

"After being at this school for almost 5 years now and being a principal for far longer," she began after I had plunked down into the blue cushioned chair. "I should know not to draw conclusions."

"Oh," I mumbled.

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and downcasted her eyes. "So I apologize first for that. I realize I shouldn't believe every rumour that goes around the school and normally I don't. It's just when one is very close to my heart - I don't take that lightly."

I nodded and twiddled my thumbs in my lap. I didn't have a clue how I was supposed to react to this.

"But I truly do apologize for any hardship I may have caused. Your mother has made it perfectly clear through her email and phone call this morning that none of the rumours were true. It must have been a lot of emotional distress that was put onto you. I'm sorry if I added to that with the suspension. I'm sorry I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt to actually tell your story."

"Thank you," I said, genuinely shocked and touched by her apology.

She smiled and gently bowed her head. "I hear there's a new rumour going around and I want to give you the benefit of the doubt for this one."

I cocked my head slightly. "I haven't heard anything," I mumbled. Although this might explain why people keep apologizing...

"Kira came to me this morning and retracted her statements towards you. She informed me of the truth, or at least what she believes as the new truth. Apparently, what's going around now is that you thought you were pregnant, but while you were at the hospital they found instead of pregnancy - appendicitis. Is that true?"

"Oh," I said shyly. I had this overwhelming feeling that Trish was the one who had come up with this new rumour. "Yeah," I said more confidently. "Yeah, that's the truth."

* * *

A&amp;A

* * *

"Trish!" I called when I was a few feet away from our usual lunch table. She looked up from her conversation with Dez curiously, eyebrows raised and fork poised mid bite.

I bridged the distance between the edge of the table and my usual spot, only to be stopped by Kira. She appeared in front of me, biting her lip and brushing her hands along the light blue fabric of her jeans.

"Ally," she spoke. "I just wanted to apologize."

I blinked, noticing her downcast gaze. I had this sneaking suspicion that she didn't do this too often. She ran a hand through her slicked back high ponytail before actually meeting my eyes.

"I really am sorry. I guess I just didn't know how to react."

"No," I shook my head, shocking even myself. "No. You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I'm the one who started all of this. I'm the one who slept with Austin and broke you guys up."

She laughed. "I'm the one who took it way too far. I shouldn't have done any of the things I did. Being suspended kind of made me realize that."

"I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm so sorry."

"So we're both sorry," she shrugged. "I'm just more so. I took all the pain from the situation and focused it on getting revenge. Who was I really helping? I don't know."

I stood there motionless for a moment, trying to understand where this change of heart had come from.

"Look," she said pulling out her phone and turning the screen to me. "I took back everything I said on my blog. I set the record straight. I didn't know details, I didn't know what was going on. I was just angry and wanted someone to hurt like I was hurting. But I realize how wrong and stupid and petty that was."

I held her phone and quickly scrolled through the post. It was a fairly detailed apology for everything she had done. A retraction for every rumour she had come up with. I took a deep breath, trying to hold myself together. It was hard to believe any of this.

"Wow," I mumbled.

"Yeah," Kira sighed and took back her golden iPhone. "It's a lot to take in when your biggest bully has decided to hold a truce."

She opened her arms and I hesitantly stepped into her hug. Over Kira's shoulder I saw Trish's eyes widen. Much like Trish, I wasn't sure about this new revelation either.

"So, we can be friends?" Kira asked.

"Um," I started. "I guess, if you want. I mean if you're okay with the fact that I'm totally in lov-"

I stopped myself before revealing my love for Austin to his ex girlfriend. Kira nodded, a small smile quirking up her lips.

"Thought so," she giggled. "You're more in love with him than I ever was. I can't step in between that and I'm sorry if I did hinder that at all."

I stared at her, mouth a gape. This was a total 180. It was like Kira's entire personality had shifted. But then again, she had never been mean to me until this whole situation started. She was just wary of me and now I saw why. Everyone around Austin and I could see how much we felt for each other, except for us.

"I know," she laughed. "Shocking right?"

"Yeah," I breathed. "I wasn't really expecting that."

"Don't worry, this isn't a joke."

"God, I hope not."

"I wish you and Austin all the best," Kira said cheerfully, no hint of force in sight. "And the second I get a boyfriend, we're going out on a double date! Merry Christmas, Ally!"

She pivoted on her heel and stalked back to her table. I cocked my head to the side, watching her retreating form.

"That was weird, right?" I asked, sliding down into my chair.

Trish nodded. "Yeah, I thought she was going to yell at you or something. But it's good to know that our damage control plan worked."

"So it was you!"

"Yup," Dez said proudly, puffing out his chest. "Trish, Austin, and I all worked together and put out the word about your appendicitis."

Dez winked and I laughed. I pulled out the small brown lunch pale from my messenger bag. I had to admit they did good. In a matter of a few days they had gotten people to completely change their views on me.

"Oh my God," I said. "Thank you so much. You guys are awesome."

"No problem!" Trish grinned and took a bite of her spaghetti. "It's what friends are for!"

"That's such a lame answer," Dez snickered. "Oh it's what friends are for!" he mocked.

Trish flung sauce at Dez. He licked the sauce off his cheek before throwing a half eaten pickle slice at her. She made a noise of disgust before dropping noodles into his messy mop of hair.

I snickered at their beginnings of a food fight. I knew it was only a matter of time until they got out of control. It would be - like usual - up to Austin and I to stop them. I glanced across the table and realized there was a missing piece of the foursome. Nothing but an empty yellow chair.

"Where's Austin?" I asked.

Trish and Dez abruptly stopped their food fight and stared at me. Trish bit her lip and looked over to the yellow seat. Dez quickly turned away from me and wiped the noodles out of his hair.

"Guys, what's going on? You're acting as though he died and you don't want to tell me!"

"Well, it's not that!" Trish said cheerily.

"So where is he?"

Dez shrugged. "He just decided to have lunch elsewhere."

"Do you know where he is?" I asked. From the way they were acting, I could only imagine that he was avoiding me. It made me absolutely certain I had made the wrong decision on Tuesday. I wanted to go after him and tell him how wrong I was. How sorry I was. How I was whole heartedly in love with him.

"No," Trish shook her head. "I don't know where he is, but he said he'd find you and talk to you later."

"Okay," I swallowed. I hoped that when we talked it was going to be positive.


	30. Chapter 30

**AN:** The fact that I had Boom Clap stuck in my head during the last half of this chapter pretty much annoyed me... But it should tell you something from the offset!

So I'm going to put my long authors note with all I have to say up here so that I can just let the story end in a blaze of glory that it totally deserves.

First, Happy Anniversary to my wonderful, inspiring, Austin Moon-esque boyfriend! 3 years, boy! Now we can add this to our anniversary celebrations, haha:P

And now onto an emotional part for me. I'm so thankful and happy that people are actually reading this. I'm even more amazed that there have been people that have read since day one. Like, I started this in February. That's amazing! I also find it cool that there are people who sit down and binge read this whole thing. Is it really that good? My reviews seem to say so.

I love all of you that say down each week and reviewed. I love that people are taking that much time out of their lives and caring about something as simple as this story. This is my baby to me. This is the first thing I've actually ever completed. All the other full scale stories I've written kind of fizzle out. I thank all my readers, reviewers, favouritors, and followers for not letting me fizzle out. Because here I am, thirty chapters later and my baby has finally come to an end. It's all grown up now. I can change the switch from 'In Progress' to 'Complete'. I honestly can't believe I'm at that point...

I'm amazed and I'm proud of myself and I really hope you all enjoyed this ride as much as I did.

Thank you all!

Oh, and this is not the last of me! I don't know when you'll hear from me next (until then you should re-read this one to get your fill:P) but I am still writing. I have stories planned for this fandom, which I hope you like as much as you liked this one. More will be explained when I put the first one up!

Until then, Read, Review, and Enjoy!:')

**Disclaimer:** One final time! I don't own the show Austin &amp; Ally but the idea and execution of this story is all mine. Au Revoir!

Parties &amp; Mistakes

Chapter 30: Ally's POV

I don't know what to do with that boy.

There's nothing that tells me what to do with Austin. I love him, but I hate him - although everything that wants me to hate him can't. I need him, but I can't have him. I want to talk, but I can't find the words of what to say. I want him, but does he want me?

I don't have a frame of reference to know what to do.

I sighed and cut open the box of sheet music. My first shift since... I'm not thinking of it. Sitting down on the floor, I grabbed a handful song books and began stacking them in the display cases.

Beginner Guitar, Beginner Piano, Beginner Saxophone, Beginner Clarinet; all filed from the box and onto the shelves. I glanced inside at the contents and realized all of them were for beginners. It's good I came to the right shelf then. I flipped through the beginner piano book, remembering how I had mastered all of this without even cracking it open. They always said I had the perfect ear for these things.

I stacked the rest of them on the shelf, my hand straying to the guitar books. Austin had told me he learned music much like I had. He picked up a guitar one day and played. He was self taught and knew how to work with melody put us together and we made a perfect musical couple.

God, I love him.

He's almost too perfect. How did I even manage to have someone like him in my life? His caring, majestic, collected, honest, friendly personality was something that just stood out. He was a better person than I ever could be. A better person than most people could be. And I loved him for that. I loved every inch of that beautiful man.

I left a few song books at the bottom of the box with every intention of compiling them with the other leftovers in the stock room. As I closed up the cardboard box, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of Austin. Why would I ever tell him to go away? I wiped my hand over my face and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

It's okay. All you have to do is tell him you love him and you want to be his girlfriend and you need him and you're sorry.

I brushed the dirt off my skirt and slowly stood up. Bending to pick up the box, I noticed the incessant Christmas music had stopped playing. Well, I guess that means I have to go reset the playlist again. I sighed, straightening with the box in hand and turned towards the stockroom. It was on this quick pivot that I saw him.

Oh Austin Moon.

I nearly dropped the box. He had just walked in. Just stood there in all his glory. His hair messily brushed back, his body clad in a black button up and dark jeans, his eyes shining with anticipation. I bit my lip and walked away from him. I couldn't bare to look at his fidgeting, uncertain hands any longer.

Running my hands along my face in the stock room, I tried to gain my composure. This is what you wanted, Ally. Just tell him everything. I let out a huge sigh and glanced at myself in the old oval mirror.

Let your hair down.

Fluff it up.

Hold your head high.

Stick your chest out.

Swipe some blush on.

Pretend like you've got it all together.

I ran my hands along my thighs and walked out of the stock room. Austin was pacing around the store, running his hands along the checkout table, the piano, the loungers. Oh God, he's nervous. What the hell did that mean?

I swallowed. "Okay," I said from across the room. "Talk."

Austin turned towards me, eyes wide. His fingers were dancing on the keys on the piano, playing a melody that made no sense. He sat down on the bench and I quickly hurried over. He didn't even glance at me, his focus remaining on the keys. I rested my left hand over the ivories, absently playing out a simplified version of one of Austin's songs.

He chuffed out a laugh, removing his fingers from the keys and drawing his attention upwards. He still didn't look at me, as though he couldn't build up the nerve. His eyes trailed along the curves of the piano and eventually stopped on the book that sat atop. When did I leave my songbook here?

I snatched it away before he could read my darkest secrets and unfinished songs. His hand met mind as I pulled away and he laughed once again.

"Don't touch my book," I said as he finally met my eyes.

A grin took over his features. "That's the Ally I know."

I placed the book back down on the piano and snickered. Somehow I had found myself again.

Arms enveloped me and I never wanted to let go. The safety I found against Austin's chest rivaled everything I had ever felt it my whole life. It rivaled every famous love story that had ever been written. That had ever happened.

It was ours.

We held on to each other for far longer than what would be considered normal. I clung to his chest, feeling comfort in his hands trailing up and down my back. Eventually we would have to pull away, but there was no telling when that would actually happen. Everything that had remained unsaid between us came crashing down around me. It became an unspoken conversation during the duration of this hug. All the words, all the worries, all the cries, all the fears, all the wants, and all the need just became clear.

I needed him and I wasn't ever letting him go. There would never be another moment where I sent him away. We were a team. We worked so well together. As a couple, we were perfect.

I couldn't ever picture myself having this perfect of a moment with anyone but him.

It was Austin.

He was it for me.

He's my soulmate.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked him, pulling back from his arms.

He shook his head. "No," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm not and you shouldn't be either."

"How'd you know I was mad at myself?"

"I know you, Al," he said simply. "I know how guilty you've felt and how secluded you've made yourself. I've spent this whole day trying to figure out what I was going to say to you and I still don't know."

"You were avoiding me," I stated.

He nodded. "Only because I didn't know if you wanted me around. I didn't want to be a burden but at the same time Trish and Dez kept telling me to talk to you and I knew I had to. Since I left your house on Tuesday I knew I had to keep talking. I knew you didn't mean it... Or at least I hoped."

"I never wanted you to leave," I told him, dropping my eyes to my neon pink skirt. I clasped and unclasped my hands in my lap. "I just didn't want to drag anyone down. I knew how messed up everything was and I knew that it all started because of what we did. I didn't know how to finish it."

"Not by breaking up with me," he deadpanned.

My eyes shot up to his. All I could read was pain. "I know. I knew that the second you walked out. I've spent the whole day today hoping that you still loved me. I -"

"Of course I still love you," Austin stated. His eyebrows drew up in shock that I would even consider that. "I'm too invested in this to stop loving you over something as stupid as you breaking up with me."

I laughed. "Most people would probably move on at that point."

"Well is it time to move on?" he asked cocking his head to the side.

"No."

"I didn't think so."

I felt him lean towards me, his left hand tracing my jawline and caressing my cheek. He stared into my eyes as though he was reading my soul. I could tell he was gauging my emotions, trying to figure out what I was thinking. The only thing was, I didn't know myself.

And then his lips were on mine. I sighed and let my eyes drift shut. My body felt electric. Sparks ignited at this simple connection. From my lips, to my fingers, to my toes. Everything knew.

Austin pulled back and I kept my eyes shut for a minute, trying to commit that moment to memory. When I finally opened my eyes, he was staring at me a lazy smirk on his lips.

I shook my head and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Proud of yourself, are ya?"

He laughed and pushed up. I rounded, pivoting on the piano bench watching him sit on the front counter. Thank God we weren't busy right now. The Christmas shoppers would be busy tomorrow when the madness sale started at the mall, but today was ours.

I sighed and stretched out my back. "What's even happened?"

"What?" Austin asked.

"These past two months," I stated. "I have no idea what's happening anymore."

"It's something," Austin mumbled.

I watched as he kicked his legs back and forth, hanging over the edge.

"I can't believe any of it," I whispered.

Austin ran a hand through his hair. "Me either."

"How do you move on from something like this?" I asked.

He hopped down from the desk and stopped directly in front of me. He took my hands and held them right, squeezing them three times in a little code of love.

"All we do is our best. But I know one thing for sure, I'm never letting you pull away again. I don't care how stressful or devastating whatever you're going through is, I'm always going to be here for you. I'm always going to make you talk. There's no silence because you think you're taking me down with you. It's just me and you." he told me, keeping absolute focus and staring into my eyes.

I stood and draped my arms around his neck. "Thank you,"

"You don't have to thank me, I'll always be here. This is just what we have to do to move past all of this madness. I'll do whatever I can."

I nodded. "I love you."

His face erupted into a gigantic grin. They were the words he had so desperately wanted to hear. The words that I had been so terrified to say with everything going on. They were out in the open, and it they were the truth.

I could scream it from the rooftops. I'm in love with Austin Moon!

"I love you too," he mumbled before his lips landed on mine.

The fire ignited this time. I closed my eyes and gave in to every whim. Our lips were dancing fervently, passionately, needingly. My toes tingled, my soul soared, my mind grew dazed with thoughts of Austin.

The kiss made me realize everything I had missed. This was it. This was all I needed for the rest of my life. I wasn't ever going to pull away. I wasn't ever going to leave him. If I was falling down I would drag him with me, only to be picked back up. I'd never been so sure of anything.

We pulled back and I sniffed. Somehow - in the throw of passion - I had begun to cry. Austin gently wiped the tear away from my cheek.

I shook my head. "I love you."

"I know," he laughed.

"But I love you," I giggled, I didn't know what else to say.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"You're perfect," he whispered, resting his forehead against mine.

I breathed out, this display of romance overwhelming me. It was perfect. We were perfect. Everything that happened to us, could have taken us down. All of it had threatened to break us. But here we are standing on the other side, lost in a sea of love. Here we are making promises to never leave and kissing like my feet won't ever touch the ground again. Here we are declaring our love and realizing just how right we have it. Here we are. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

* * *

THE END


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